


Everywhere

by Weareallstoriesintheend



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Kidnapping, Violence, description of emotional abuse, domestic abuse, mentions of torture, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-09 03:12:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 50,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3234146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weareallstoriesintheend/pseuds/Weareallstoriesintheend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Oliver takes his niece to story time, he meets Felicity. Suddenly he realizes that she is everywhere and he has no idea what to do about it. AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Liz at http://nonplatoniccircumstances.tumblr.com/ for letting me use her story time fic as inspiration for this one. If you haven't checked out her blog, you are missing out! 
> 
> This is an AU. No island and the age difference between Oliver and Thea is not as much. More like 3 or 4 years. It was supposed to be a short little story, but I may be incapable of those! Oops. Also, thanks to Zee at http://octoberobserver.tumblr.com/ for agreeing to beta this for me.  
> I hope everyone like it!

 

This was not how Oliver Queen had pictured his day going when he got up this morning. When his alarm had gone off at 5am, he began going over his day in his mind. He thought about the meetings on his schedule today while he was in the shower. He mentally listed all the phone calls he needed to make as he ate his breakfast. He sorted through emails on his phone while being driven to the office, marking those that needed attachments for later. At no point during all this planning did he ever envision himself sitting on the floor of a bookstore waiting for story time to begin. At this point, he's not even entirely sure how he got here.

 

45 minutes earlier

"Mr. Queen, your sister is here to see you." Oliver looked up from the reports on his desk to see his Executive Assistant, Emily, standing in the doorway to his office. He looked past her through the glass doors to see Thea standing by Emily's desk holding his niece, Grace, in her arms. Thea looked slightly frantic.

 

"Show her in please, Emily. Thank you." replied Oliver. Standing up, he made his way towards the door to meet Thea as she came in. He automatically put his hands out to take the 9 month old baby from his sister. Grace's eyes lit up when she saw Oliver and she began to babble at him immediately. Oliver smiled as he kissed his niece's cheek. "This is a surprise, Thea." Oliver said as he walked them over to the leather couch by the window of his office. "Is everything ok? You seem....tense"

"No, everything is not ok." Thea answered. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. Oliver sat up straighter as he adjusted the baby on his lap. Grace was happily playing with his tie.

"What's going on? Are you hurt?" Oliver demanded. "Is it Mom?"

"No. I'm not hurt and neither is Mom." Thea answered quickly. She had to play this just right if it was going to work. "I just got a call from the club and I really need to go in and deal with the distributor."

  
"Ok" Oliver said in a strangled voice as Grace pulled on the tie hard enough to start to choke him. He looked down to see her yanking on it with both hands. Gently, he pulled the tie from his hands and quickly reached into his pants pocket to pull out his keys before she could start to cry. She happily started jangling keys in her hands. He looked back up at Thea. "I'm not seeing the problem here, Speedy" Oliver said to his sister.

  
"The problem is in your lap. I can't take Grace with me to the club. Who knows how long I'll be there. Roy is in class right now. Raisa is out of town and Mom is not answering her phone. I don't know what to do!" Thea replied anxiously.

"Why don't you take her down to the Queen Consolidated daycare center? I'm sure they wouldn't mind watching her for a while. I'll have Emily call and let them know you're on your way down." Oliver raised his arm to try to get his EA's attention through the glass walls.

"No! You don't understand!" Thea said hurriedly. Oliver lowered his arm and looked at his sister closely. She looked almost panicked. "Grace has to go to storytime." Thea blurted out.

Oliver just stared at her. Was he missing something? This was about storytime?

The look on her brother's face almost broke her, but Thea managed to keep it together somehow. This was important. "Yes, story time, Ollie! Grace loves story time at Starling Books. Its her favorite and I always take her, but today I can't!" Thea's eyes welled up as she watched Oliver trying to understand.

"Thea," Oliver stated slowly, "Grace is only 9 months old. She doesn't know that its story time today. She won't miss it." He looked down to see that Grace had managed to get all of his keys into her mouth and was seconds away from choking. Gently, he fished the soggy keys from her mouth and set them on the coffee table in front of them. Oliver brought his niece to the table and propped her up in front of it so she could bang the keys against the table, which she proceeded to do as loudly as possible. He grinned to himself. He loved Grace with his entire heart, but she was hell on wheels. His sister was in so much trouble.

"Trust me, Ollie, she will know the difference!" Thea exclaimed over the sound of the keys. "It's her absolute favorite and I can't take her today." Oliver was still watching Grace and didn't the gleam in his sister's eyes. "Hey, maybe you could take her!" Thea suggested as innocently as possible.

Oliver's head snapped up to make eye contact with Thea. "Thea," Oliver said slowly. "I can't take Grace to storytime. I kind of have a company to run." She must be joking, Oliver thought to himself.

"Ollie, weren't you the one who told me the reason you moved back to Starling City after being in Hong Kong for two years was because of me and Grace?" Thea asked

"Yes, but.."

"And, weren't you the one that said that you wanted your niece to know you and want to spend time with you?" Thea reminded him.

" I do spend time with her!" Oliver yelled, causing Grace to jump and stop banging her keys on the table. He looked over and saw her eyes wide and her bottom lip beginning to quiver. Before the tears could start, he scooped her into his lap and begin rocking her. "Sorry, baby. I'm sorry. Oliie didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry."

Thea's heart completely melted as she watched her gruff older brother, rock her daughter to keep her from crying. It was a big change from when he had moved back five months ago. Then, Grace wouldn't even go to him! She was terrified of him. Now, Oliver was one of her favorite people. Thea felt kind of bad using their relationship to manipulate him, but it was for his own good.  
"I know you spend time with her, Ollie. She adores you. That's why I thought you could take her. You should know all about her favorite things and this is her absolute favorite thing in the whole wide world." Thea prayed this tactic would work. She was running out of time and ideas.

Oliver sighed. He knew when he had been beat. Looking through the glass window, he manged to get Emily's attention while still rocking Grace.

"Yes, Mr. Queen?" Emily asked as she appeared in the doorway. She had to bite back a smile at the sight of the CEO of a Fortune 500 company rocking a little girl on his sofa.

"Emily, can you clear my schedule for the next hour? Apparently, I'm going to storytime." Oliver asked resignedly.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Thea proclaimed, punctuating each thank you with a kiss to his cheek.

Oliver laughed as he pushed his sister away. "You're welcome. Where is this storytime again?"

"Starling Books. It'st only a block away from here. I've got Grace's stroller downstairs if you want it." Thea told him.'

"Umm, " Oliver hesitated thinking of that monostrosity that Thea called a stroller. "That's ok. If it's only a block away, I think I can manage carrying her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Zee at octoberobserver for betaing this for me. I hope everyone is liking the story because I'm having a fun time writing it. Comments are appreciated!

 

 

If he had been paying attention, Oliver might have been self-conscious about the number of looks he got as he carried Grace down the sidewalk in the direction Thea had told him to go.

Grace had waved a happy good-bye to her mother and started babbling in Oliver's ear as they made their way to the bookstore. He didn't realize the adorable picture he and Grace made together. Gorgeous man in an impeccably cut gray suit carrying a diaper bag and a completely adorable little girl who obviously adored him. More than one woman did a double take and then sighed a little as they went by.

After a block, Grace began giggling and clapping her hands. He looked ahead and saw that they were almost at Starling Books. He had never noticed it before, but now he wondered how he could have missed it.

The front of the building looked like a theater, with a marque and a box office. Something triggered in the back of his mind as he remembered a big deal being made about a historic site in Starling City that was about to be destroyed. He remembered his mother talking about it with his father at dinner when he was in high school. She had been a part of the committee with the Historical Society that was trying to save it. I guess she said, he thought.

Once were inside, Oliver stopped for a moment to look around. The two-story building had been made to look like a castle on the inside. Above his head was an ornate chandelier with stained glass windows on one side of it and a wooden balcony on the other. He took a few more steps inside and had to stop himself again. The first floor of the store was fairly plain, except the walls were a rich gold color. He could see little corners and nooks that had been transformed into reading areas with comfy chair and good lighting. Directly, in front of him were two escalators that led to a second story.

Oliver could feel Grace getting impatient. He glanced around to see if there was anyone he could ask where their story time was located.

"Ollie?" he heard a voice ask from behind him. 

Oliver turned to see his best friend, Tommy, standing there. He was holding his little boy, James, in his arms as he stared wide-eyed at Oliver and Grace.  

"Tommy," Oliver said, failing to keep the surprise out of his voice. "What are you doing here?" he asked. As soon as the words left his mouth he knew the answer.

"Story time,” Tommy replied, "looks like you're here for the same reason."

He switched James to his other arm so he could be closer to Grace. Tommy knew his little boy LOVED his friend Grace and was trying to get her attention.

"Is everything ok with Thea? I usually see her or the nanny here on Tuesdays," he asked, suddenly concerned.

"She's fine," Oliver assured him as he tried to keep Grace balanced in his arms. She was getting antsy. “The nanny is sick and Thea had an emergency at work. She asked me to bring me Grace."

Tommy smirked to himself. He could just imagine Thea "asking" Oliver to take Grace.

"The kids' area is upstairs. Come on. I'll show you the way." Tommy turned and led Oliver and Grace towards the escalator.

The escalator was only wide enough for one person at a time, so Oliver let Tommy and James go first while he and Grace rode up behind them. As they rose up towards the second floor, Oliver noticed that it felt like they were coming up into a castle. The ceiling was a dark blue dotted with lights to make it look like a night sky. The entire perimeter of the second floor was decorated to look like a giant balcony with turrets and spires that reached up in to the sky.

As they reached the top of the escalator, Oliver could see the children’s department directly in front of them. The entranced was guarded by a friendly, yet realistic looking dragon. He instinctively tighten his grip on Grace so she wouldn’t be scared. He needn’t have worried, though. When she saw the dragon, Grace began to bounce in his arms and wave at it as if they were long lost friends.

Tommy turned around to see his friend looking lost again and he smiled to himself. It was nice to see Ollie out of the office and doing something completely out of his CEO persona. Sometimes it was hard to reconcile his best friend with the man he was now. He had changed so much since they were kids together. But, he supposed they both had. Neither one of them was the drunken playboy type anymore. They both had received enough shock and tragedy to shake it off and try to become something more. The changes had pushed them away from each other at first, but maybe they could work on it.

 

“It’s quite the place, isn’t it?” Tommy said to Oliver as he led them into the children’s area.

Off to the right, was a small raised platform with benches in a half circle around it. James began to babble incoherently as he recognized some of the other kids that were already waiting. Tommy adjusted his grip on his son as he made his way through the crowd to the spot on the floor where he and Thea usually sat. They had become such regulars that their spots were always waiting for them.

Oliver had followed Tommy through the crowd, but was now just standing there, looking down at the spot where his friend expected him to sit. There was no way he was going to fit.

“Um, Tommy?” Oliver hesitated, “I’m pretty sure I’m not going to fit down there.”

Tommy glanced up at his friend’s words. He looked around and then started to laugh. He leaned over to the mom sitting to his left and after a couple of words and shifting, a space opened up that finally looked big enough to accommodate Oliver’s frame. Tommy reached up and plucked Grace from her uncle’s arms, while Oliver swung the diaper bag over his head and squatted down as gently as possible. Once he was seated with his back to the wall and legs crisscrossed in front of him, he took Grace back and put her in his lap.

“Sorry about that,” Tommy said, eyes smiling with amusement. “I’m used to making room for Thea. Not you.”

Oliver smiled back. “That’s ok. I just didn’t want to accidentally sit in someone’s lap on my way down.”

The other man laughed. “Oh, I’m pretty sure none of these women would have minded.”

Tommy had seen the looks the other man had gotten on the way in. Maybe he could still be a wingman for his friend, after all.

Oliver rolled his eyes as she reached into the diaper bag and pulled out Grace’s sippy cup and a small bag of goldfish crackers. He choose to ignore Tommy’s comment.

“I didn’t know you and Thea did things like this together,” Oliver commented, neutrally.

He instantly regretted saying anything when he felt his best friend tense up beside him. Damn it, he thought to himself.

“I didn’t mean that to sound judgmental. I’m glad you two are close. Really,” Oliver said earnestly.

Tommy took a deep breath and looked at Oliver. He relaxed when he saw sincerity in his eyes.

“We ran into each other here a couple of months ago and it just seemed right to keep coming. Grace and James are about the same age and it gives us a chance to check in with each other, you know?” Tommy said, softly as he stroked his son’s dark hair.

Oliver smiled reassuringly. He was glad they could start to talk to each other again. He opened his mouth to say as much to him when he heard a buzz begin to circulate through the crowd.

He saw babies and toddlers begin to get excited. He could feel Grace abandon the crackers in his hand as she started bouncing up and down on his lap. Oliver went to turn his head to ask Tommy what was going on when he saw a flash of pink.

Looking up he saw her. Blond hair up in a high ponytail, dark, thick- framed glasses on her nose. The pink he had seen was her shirt, it was short sleeved and had some kind of ruffle right about her hips. Long legs were encased in tight black pants with little white polka dots on them.

As she made her way through the crowd, Oliver could see that the pants stopped right above her ankle and she was wearing flat shoes that had cat faces on them. The closer she got to the front of the crowd, the more he could see of her face. She had bright blue eyes behind the glasses and her mouth was painted the same shade of pink as her shirt. It wasn’t until she stepped up on the small stage that Oliver realized she was carrying six or seven books in her arms.

“Good morning, friends!” she said in a clear voice. Vaguely, Oliver noticed that the kids had all quieted down when she spoke.

“I can see some new faces here this morning, so let me introduce myself. My name is Felicity and I get to read you some stories!”

All the kids clapped and cheered as she beamed at them all. Oliver suddenly realized he had stopped breathing and sucked in a noisy breath.

Tommy glanced at Oliver when he heard him gasp. The shell-shocked look on Oliver’s face was one Tommy had never seen there before. Following his friend’s eye line to Felicity and back, Tommy couldn’t hold back the grin. Oh, this was going to be fun.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long to update. I was really stuck on this chapter. I hope it turned out ok. I have the next few chapters figured out,so hopefully the updates will come sooner. Please let me know what you think. I upped the rating on this to be safe. It might go up again later. Not sure yet.

Oliver couldn’t stop staring at her. He was vaguely aware of Tommy laughing next to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. She was so beautiful. He watched as she began singing “The Wheels on the Bus” to get things started in a voice that was bright and clear. He quickly became distracted by her hands as they moved through the motions of the song. Her nails were painted a bright blue and that made him wonder how they would look against the fabric of his shirt or the skin underneath. Then he began to wonder if her hand were as soft as they looked.

 

Quickly, he shook his head to stop that train of thought. He was holding his baby niece, for crying out loud. Now was not the time. He tore his eyes off of Felicity and looked down at Grace bouncing excitedly in his lap. Her hands were trying to mimic what Felicity was doing, but she was having trouble keeping up. Gently, Oliver covered Grace’s tiny hands with his own and moved them in circles like the song says. Grace let out a full-bellied laugh of joy and Oliver felt his heart soar. There really was nothing better than a baby’s laugh.

 

Felicity was still singing as she scanned the crowd of kids and adults in front of her. She saw a lot of her regular there, singing, smiling. There was Ella with her new baby brother. Next to them was Ella’s best friend Catherine and her new baby sister. Felicity’s smile grew when she spotted Tommy holding James. Felicity did her best not to play favorites, but James absolutely was one. All brown curls and big brown eyes and a grin that was sweet and mischievous at the same time. Moving her hands to simulate windshield wipers while she switched verses on the song, Felicity looked past James and saw her other favorite, Grace, sitting right next to him. And there was….huh that was definitely not Thea.

 

She watched as the man holding Grace helped the baby move her hands with the motion of the song. Grace laughed again in pure delight. She couldn’t see the man’s face, but it was obvious that Grace adored him. All she could see was dark blond hair and a jawline that made her sigh a little inside. Then he looked up and the little sigh turned into a full (thankfully internal) moan. Good God. How could one man be so gorgeous? Cheekbones to die for and the bluest eyes she’d ever seen. And a mouth that made her think things she should absolutely NOT be thinking while surrounded by babies and toddlers. When she saw the man’s mouth start to lose the smile he had on for Grace, she realized she was staring. With a shake of her head, she turned her attention back to the rest of the crowd and prayed no one noticed the blush creeping up her neck.

 

 

Oliver watched as the moms and dads and kids around him started getting up to leave. It seemed like most of the kids rushed up onto the little stage to give Felicity a hug. She gave them all a big smile and a sticker in return. She addressed most of the kids by name, which Oliver found pretty impressive. Especially when she spoke to their parents by their names as well. He could feel Grace getting impatient in his lap, but Tommy had told him to hold back for a minute. Apparently, Tommy knew Felicity pretty well and wanted to introduce her to Oliver. Oliver could admit to himself that he was curious about the woman. She seemed so young and sweet, but then he had caught her staring at his mouth. The look on her face was, well, it seemed like desire, but she had turned away so quickly. Maybe he had imagined it.

 

Seeing that most of the crowd had cleared out, Oliver began to unfold his long frame from his position on the floor. Easier said than done, apparently, as his limbs protested the lack of movement for so long. Making sure to keep a firm hold on Grace, Oliver rose up in time to see Tommy handing a beaming James over to Felicity who looked just as happy as the little boy.

 

“Look at you!” Felicity cooed at the nearly one year old boy who was gently patting her cheeks in adoration. “You’ve grown since I saw you last! How have you grown so much in two weeks?” she asked before planting kisses along James’ cheek. The boy squealed in delight.

 

“And look! There’s my other sweetheart!” Felicity exclaimed as Oliver came onto the stage with Grace. Oliver raised her his eyebrows at her. “Not you! I meant Grace….I mean you’re not my sweetheart. Not that you’re not sweet! Actually, I don’t know if you’re sweet or not…” Felicity rambled uncontrollably.

 

“Felicity.” Tommy said, taking pity on her. He knew she was working herself up into a full babble and as much as he’d like to see that, he knew she’d never forgive him if he let it happen. Tommy opened his mouth to introduce the two of them, when it happened.

 

Oliver had barely made it onto the stage where Felicity stood before Grace launched herself at Felicity. She was able to grab Grace before she fell, almost dropping James in the process. Without even thinking, Oliver snatched James from Felicity and secured him in his own arms while she did the same with Grace. The whole thing was over in the blink of an eye, leaving Tommy staring at them in wonder.

 

“Wow….” he said, dazedly, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you two rehearsed that move”

 

Oliver handed James back to his dad. The little guy wasn’t so sure how he felt about his Uncle Oliver. “That would be difficult considering we’ve never met before” Oliver reminded his friend with a subtly pointed look.

 

“Well, let’s fix that right now. Tommy stated, his eyes twinkling with barely concealed glee. “Felicity Smoak this is Thea’s older brother, Oliver Queen.”  
Felicity switched Grace to her left hip and extended her right hand. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Queen”

 

Oliver gripped her tiny hand in his and tried to ignore the charge of electricity from it. “Nice to meet you too, Miss Smoak. Call me Oliver.”

 

She smiled and Oliver felt his stomach do a somersault. _Oh no_. “Felicity. Just call me Felicity.” She told him.

 

Oliver felt himself smile back as he reluctantly released her hand. Grace, deciding she had had enough of being ignored, reached up and grabbed at Felicity’s glasses. Felicity laughed as she tilted her back out of the baby’s grasp. Oliver’s stomach tightened and flipped again at the sound. _This is not good. I do not need this kind of a distraction_ , he thought to himself. Then she turned back to him with her blue eyes sparkling and all he could think was how pretty she looked.

 

“So, Oliver.” Felicity started. “Where is Thea today? Is everything ok? I don’t think she’s ever missed story time before.”

 

“She’s fine. She just had some things come up at her club and Roy was in class so she asked if I could bring Grace for her.” Oliver replied, trying very hard not to watch the way her pink lips moved as she talked.

 

“Well, I hope you enjoyed your first time.” She said before realizing how it sounded. Her face flushed. “Story time! First story time! I didn’t mean your first time, like you know, your first time. I wasn’t asking about your first sexual experience! Or any sexual experience. I would never ask about your sex life. Or lack of sex life. Not that your sex life is lacking! Look at you, I’m sure it’s not! Oh God! Tommy!” Felicity turned to the other man to see him practically doubled over with laughter.

 

“I’m sorry, Felicity.” he finally managed to choke out. “I was going to stop you, but it was too good” Tommy doubled back over in laughter as Felicity buried her head in Grace’s hair in mortification.

 

Oliver just stood there with a small smile on his face, stunned speechless for a moment. Her rant had completely disarmed and charmed him. So did the blush that she was trying to hide. Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder. Her head jerked up in surprise.

 

“I did enjoy my first time. My first story time. A lot” he said quietly. She gave him a small smile in return.

 

Oliver felt his phone buzz in his pocket. As he excused himself to take the call, Felicity turned to Tommy and smacked his arm with her free hand.

 

“Thanks for nothing, Merlyn! I thought we agreed you were going to help me with the babbling thing! You were useless!” she whispered angrily at him. The bastard was still wiping tears from his eyes!

 

“I’m sorry! I started to and then you….” Tommy started laughing again, unable to finish his sentence.

 

Felicity stomped her foot in frustration. “Tommy!” Her rant at the dark haired man was cut off as Oliver came back to join them.

 

“That was Thea.” he told them. “She is done at the club and going to meet Grace and I at Queen Consolidated.” Oliver reached out his arms to take Grace from Felicity, but the baby just wrapped her chubby little arms around the blonde woman’s neck and shook her head no.

 

“Grace, sweetie.” Felicity cooed softly to the little girl. “I’ll see you next week, ok? It’s time to go back to your uncle. He’s going to take you to see Mommy.” Grace face perked up at that. She reached out for Oliver to take her who scooped her up with ease.

 

“It was nice meeting you, Felicity.” Oliver said to her, picking up Grace’s diaper bag from the floor.

 

Felicity laughed. “Yes, I’m sure it was an experience. Sorry again. It was nice meeting you too.” she replied. “Bye Grace!” She waved at the little girl who waved back.

 

“Tommy. Good to see you. Tell Laurel hi for me.” Oliver said to the other man. Tommy nodded and smiled as uncle and niece turned to leave.

 

Felicity held her tongue until the two were safely out of sight. When she was sure they were gone she turned on Tommy. “We need to have a talk about being a good friend, Merlyn!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make sure I got this chapter up sooner than the last one. Thanks everyone for the love and support. It means a lot. Here's a long chapter as a thank you! Thanks again Zee for the beta! You have been a lifesaver!

Oliver felt like he was suffocating. The meeting he was currently trapped in was boring, repetitive, pointless and endless. He barely resisted the urge to loosen his tie, reaching for the glass of water in front of him instead. The “efficiency expert” the board had insisted they hire had been droning on and on for two hours about all the different ways in which Queen Consolidated was throwing away money. While Oliver had agreed with some earlier points, the woman was now trying to convince him that 200 hundred jobs needed to be eliminated.

 

“Ms. Preston,” Oliver interrupted the woman, finally having enough. “I have made my position on this issue perfectly clear from the beginning. Queen Consolidated will not eliminate 200 hundred jobs to save a few dollars.”

 

“Mr. Queen,” Ms. Preston insisted. “This is more than a few dollars. We are talking about millions of dollars being wasted on redundancy of positions and duties throughout the company.”

 

“Then find me an ‘efficient’ way to reduce the redundancy without reducing the personnel. I will not lay-off hundreds of people who rely on this company for their families’ livelihood.” he stated authoritatively rising from his chair. He buttoned his suit jacket while and looked over at the woman, daring her to contradict him again.

 

“I will do my best, Mr. Queen.” she said, finally, cleared not happy with the direction the meeting had taken.

 

“Wonderful. I look forward to seeing your revised report,” he said, turning to leave the room. He barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he heard Ms. Preston and her team muttering behind him. They could hate him all they wanted, as long as they did what he asked.

 

*************************************************************************************

 

 

Making his way back to his office, Oliver could feel the tension in his neck and shoulder building. It had been back to back meetings for two days now and he was feeling the strain. It had been far too long since he’d any kind of release. An image popped into his head at the word release. An image of a blond ponytail, bright pink lips and blue eyes. Yeah, there was another layer of stress added. Ever since story time three days ago, he couldn’t stop thinking about Felicity. It was surprising really. He hadn’t been this fascinated by a woman in years.

 

When the elevator doors opened on the executive floor, he saw Emily waiting for him with a sympathetic look on her face. “Rough meeting? “she asked.

 

Oliver sighed and swiped a hand across his face. “What part of no lay-offs do these people not understand?” he grumbled to her.

 

Emily laughed softly. “Stacy IM’d me during the meeting. Even she could tell you were not happy,” she told him as they made their way to his office. “So, I cleared your schedule for two hours and called Mr. Harper. He said to tell you that he has a mat and ready for you. Plus, a new sparring partner ready to kick your ass. His words not mine,” she added quickly at his raised eyebrow.

 

Just the thought of getting out of there for a couple of hours had his shoulder’s relaxing a little. Oliver looked at Emily with a grateful smile. “I could kiss you right now, if I didn’t think your girlfriend would kill me for it,” he told her honestly. She laughed again.

 

“I think Sara would forgive you since you set us up.” Emily replied with a smile. “Go, I’ll keep the wolves at bay while you’re gone.”

 

Oliver grinned and made his way back to the elevator. “Thanks, Em. I owe you one,” He told her as he left.

 

 

 

Oliver didn’t bother taking the company car. Roy’s gym was only a few blocks from Queen Consolidated and the walk felt really good. When he arrived Harper’s Health Studio, he went straight upstairs to Roy’s office where he kept a bag of workout clothes. After changing quickly into a t-shirt and sweatpants, he made his way back downstairs to the back room. There he found Roy and another man already sparring on the mat. The other man was large, much larger than Roy. He had dark skin and the biggest biceps Oliver had ever seen. Roy may have been smaller, but he was faster. He managed to elude the other man’s blows about half the time.

 

Oliver walked to the edge of the mat just as Roy evaded a kick. Roy finally noticed him and called a time-out.

 

“Hey man. How are you? Emily made it sound desperate,” the younger man said as he grabbed a water bottle.

 

“Not desperate, but I definitely needed to get out of there for a while.” Oliver responded.

 

“Well, I think I finally have someone here who can give you a run for your money. Oliver, meet John Diggle, ex-Army Special Forces, “Roy stated as he stepped back to let the other two shake hands.

 

“My friends call me Digg,” the older man told Oliver as they shook hands.

 

Oliver nodded at him and said, “Well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see if we’re friends at the end of this.” Digg smiled at him.

 

 

An hour later, a freshly showered and re-dressed Oliver exited the gym. Digg had proven to be a strong fighter and more than enough of a challenge for him. It was nice to switch it up every now and then. He and Roy had sparred so much with each other that there were no surprises.

 

Oliver’s stomach rumbled as he walked, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten anything since the morning. Up ahead he saw Jitters and remembered that they had great sandwiches as well as really good coffee. With the thought of food in mind, Oliver sped up a little and made his way into the shop.

 

“Can I help you?” the girl behind the counter asked him pleasantly.

 

“Yes. I’ll take an orange juice and turkey sandwich on the wild rice cranberry bread.” Oliver told her. “Oh, and a large white chocolate mocha. All to go please,” he added at the last minute.

 

“I never would have guessed that you drank white chocolate mocha,” he heard from behind him. He knew that voice without even turning around. He’d been thinking about the owner of that voice for three days. Slowly, he turned and there she was. Blond ponytail, glasses and, God help him, still the bright pink lips. She was even more beautiful than he remembered.

 

“Felicity.’ He murmured by way of a greeting, smiling a little. Man, he loved her name. Her eyes widened as if she was surprised he remembered her. He got lost in his head for a minute thinking of all the ways he had remembered her over the last few days. When he shook it off, he realized she was talking to him again.

 

“Not that I’ve spent time thinking about your coffee order.” She was saying. “If I had been though, I would have pegged you as a black coffee kind of guy,” she blurt out before forcefully clenching her lips together. He waited for her to continue, but it appeared she was not saying anything else. He raised an eyebrow at her silence.

 

“Are you ok?” he asked. She nodded, still not saying anything. “Are you sure? That’s beginning to look painful, “he told her referring to the mouth she still had clamped shut.

 

He could see her debating with herself before she finally spoke again. “I embarrassed myself so completely with you the other day that I still haven’t totally recovered. I’m just trying to avoid another awkward situation,” she explained to him before flashing him a shy smile.

 

“I didn’t find it awkward. I found it charming,” he told her sincerely.

 

She snorted at him in return. Her eyes flew open wide as her hand came up to cover her mouth with her hand. With a groan, she laid her head down on the counter.

 

“Oh,” she moaned. “I can’t believe I just snorted at you. Why does this keep happening to me?”

 

“Felicity, get your head off of my counter.” said the girl who had taken Oliver’s order. He saw she had his sandwich and drinks ready for him. Stepping to the other side of her, Oliver paid the girl for his order. When he turned to talk to Felicity again, she was gone.

 

“She went to hide in the corner,” the girl told him, her mouth turned up in a pretty smile.

 

“Do you happen to know which corner…Iris?” he added after a quick glance at her nametag.

 

Iris smiled even wider at him, her big brown eyes twinkling. “She’ll kill me for telling you, but she’s over there,” she told him as she pointed to the far corner of the café. “You better be nice to her, though,” Iris warned him with a stern look. “She was really embarrassed the other day.”

 

“You seem to know her pretty well,” he said questioningly.

 

Iris shook her head. “Uh huh. Go bat those blues eyes at her. I’m busy,” she shooed him away with a smile.

 

Oliver grinned as he made his way to the corner Iris had pointed out. There was definitely a story there and he was looking forward to finding out what it was.

 

When he approached the corner, he saw that Felicity had created a kind of nest for herself. She was tucked in the little alcove with two laptops in front her, three coffee cups and papers piled all around her. He could see the top of a blond head trying to hide behind a tablet.

 

“Felicity?” he inquired.

 

“Nope,” came a voice, her face still hidden. “Felicity died of embarrassment. There’s no one here by that name.”

 

“Felicity,” he stated again, this time more forcefully. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” he told her when she stayed hidden behind the screen.

 

That got her attention.

 

“Nothing to be embarrassed about?!” she cried as she lowered the tablet into her lap. Oliver could see the shock on her face. She looked even more beautiful to him with her blue eyes sparking. “The first time I met you, I ended up commenting on your sex life. This time I managed to keep my mouth shut until I snorted at you. SNORTED!”

 

Oliver tried, he really did, but he couldn’t contain the laugh that bubbled out of him. She was so adorable he just couldn’t stop it. The look on Felicity’s face, though, had the amusement fading out of him quickly.

 

“I’m so glad I amuse you,” she mumbled, face red, picking up the tablet once more.

 

Oliver’s hand shot out and grabbed hers before she could hide again.

 

“Hey, no, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to laugh at you. You do amuse me, but not because I think you’re embarrassing. Actually, I like that you say what you’re thinking. It’s refreshing,” he told her.

 

He could see the embarrassment fade with his statement. She opened her mouth to reply, but closed it again as something behind him caught her eye. She shook her head furiously. Curious, glanced over her shoulder to see Iris giving her two thumbs up. When he turned his head back to Felicity, he realized he was still holding her hand. He squeezed it once and let go reluctantly.

 

“She seems like a good friend,” he said, hoping she would elaborate. He found himself wanting to know more about her.

 

“Oh, she’s not a friend,” Felicity stated as she stared daggers at the woman behind him. He could hear Iris laughing as she walked away.

 

“Just because she was giving you thumbs up? Seems a bit harsh,” he told her, amused.

 

“No,” Felicity replied, shaking her head and focusing back on him. “I meant she’s not a friend, she’s my sister. Not that you can’t be friends with your sister. We are friends. We’re actually pretty close. So I guess she’s my friend and my sister?” she asked.

 

Oliver found himself looking at her closely and thinking of the girl at the counter with her dark skin and hair. While they were both beautiful, he was having trouble seeing any resemblance.

 

“Your sister?” he asked. “Not much of a family resemblance,” he pointed out.

 

“Nope. Sorry. You have to be a level four friend to unlock my tragic backstory,” she grinned at him.

 

“You have a tragic backstory?” he asked, brow furrowing. He didn’t like the idea of her having seen any kind of tragedy or pain.

 

“Don’t we all?” she responded softly.

 

Oliver’s phone beeped with a text. Pulling it out of his pocket he saw that it was Emily. _15 min until your conference call with Russia_ , it read.

 

“Sorry, I have to go,” he told her as he stood.

 

“Yeah. Wouldn’t want your white chocolate mocha to get cold”

 

“Actually, it’s for my assistant, Emily.”

 

“You bring your assistant coffee?” she asked, one eyebrow raised in slight disbelief.

 

“Well, she got my out of some meeting today so I figured I owed her. Though, since getting out of those meetings meant I got to run into you again, I think I owe her more that coffee,” he told her with a small wink. Her jaw dropped open a little as if in shock. He really liked surprising this woman.

 

“Goodbye Felicity.” He turned away with a smile. He waved to Iris as he walked out the door. Yep he definitely owed Emily, big time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry for the delay. This chapter seriously kicked my butt! I had a completely different plan and it refused to cooperate. I'm still not sure about it, but I hope you guys like it. Thank you so much for all the support so far. You guys are amazing!  
> Oh and I almost forgot. I made polyvore sets for Felicity's outfits in each chapter if anyone is interested. Yay for procrastination! I can't figure how to embed them, so I'll post the url links, sorry!  
> Chapter 3-http://www.polyvore.com/story_time/set?id=153205007  
> Chapter 4-http://www.polyvore.com/coffee_meet/set?id=153214035  
> Chapter 5-http://www.polyvore.com/yoga_in_park/set?id=153242054
> 
> P.S. I'm lynslogic over on tumblr if anyone wants to come say hi!

It was one of those perfect Saturday mornings that you usually only see on TV shows. The sun was bright and warm. Birds were chirping and people were out in force enjoying the sunshine. Oliver, Grace and Thea were three of those people. Since his return from Hong Kong six months ago, Oliver made it a point to spend as much time as possible with sister and niece. Roy came along when he could, but he usually had classes to teach on Saturdays. So it became a tradition of Oliver, Thea, and Grace for breakfast at Sal’s Diner where Grace would eat her bodyweight in pancakes. Something that never failed to amuse and bewilder Oliver. Today, he and Thea had decided to take their coffee to go and walk Grace over to the park.

“I haven’t gotten much of a chance to talk to you this week,” Thea stated as they made their way through the park. “How are you?”

“I’m good. Nothing new,” he replied, steering the stroller around an elderly couple out for a leisurely stroll. They smiled and waved at Grace as she passed them who waved back enthusiastically.

“What did you think of story time on Tuesday?” Thea asked, nonchalantly. At least that was what she was trying for. Oliver wasn’t buying it.

“It was fine,” he answered cautiously. Something was off with the way she was asking. “Fine? That’s it?” “Yeah, it was fine. I liked being able to take Grace to something she really enjoys,” he told her as they approached the playground. “Tommy was there,” he added. Thea winced at his words.

“Sorry,” she told him. “I should have told you he’d be there.”

“It’s fine. I was just surprised, that’s all. Tommy and I are good.” Thea shot him a look as she lifted Grace out of the stroller. “Ok, not good, but ok. We are working on good. In fact, I’m going out to dinner with him and Laurel tonight to catch up,” he told her.

“That’s great, Ollie,” she told him sincerely. “I know they have both missed you.”

“I’ve missed them, too. I didn’t know you guys were spending time together, though,” he said as he took Grace from her arms and put her in the baby swing. The little girl began to giggle as the wind rushed through her brown curls.

“I wasn’t sure how you would feel about it,” Thea admitted honestly. “I know you came back so we could all reconnect, but it’s hard figuring out what I should tell you and what I maybe shouldn’t.” Oliver tried not to let the hurt in his eyes show.

“I thought we told each other everything,” he responded after a moment. “We agreed that there had been too many secrets in this family and that there should never be any between you and me ever again, remember?”

“I know. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was keeping things from you, I swear,” she told him. “Look,I know how hard things have been for you.” Oliver started to interrupt, but she stopped him. “When everything….happened, no one bothered to check in with you. To see how you were. You were just expected to deal with it.”

“Thea…” Oliver started.

“No, Ollie, let me get this out. When it all fell apart, I lost it and it took me a long time to get it all back together again. When I did, when my head cleared, I realized that the one thing I never lost was you. You were always there and I never thought about how much you must have been hurting too. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” she admitted with tears in her eyes. “I didn’t tell you that I had been spending time with Tommy because I realized that that was another thing you had lost in the process and I didn’t want to hurt you anymore.”

Oliver stepped out from behind the swing to where Thea was standing over to the side. He swept her into his arms so fast she lost her breath for a moment. He could feel her release a breath into his chest as he held her. They just stood there for a minute, trying to heal old wounds with a hug. Finally, he pulled away and looked her in the eyes.

“You were there for me. Every time you called or emailed, you were there. All the times you visited me or I visited you and I could see parts of the old Thea coming back, you were there for me,” he whispered to her intently. “And don’t ever think, for one minute, that you spending time with Tommy would hurt me. Anything that makes you happy could never hurt me.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Grace choose that moment to express her displeasure at being left out. She began to yell from her swing which had stopped moving. They both laughed at her as Oliver went back to pushing the swing, much to Grace’s delight.

“Well, that was too intense for a Saturday morning,” Thea stated, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes.

“Agreed. Let’s move on to something else,” Oliver said. Thea’s phone rang just as she was about to speak.

“It’s Roy,” she said by way of explanation. Oliver did his best to shake off the lingering sadness from their conversation as Thea stepped away to talk to Roy. He closed his eyes for moment to clear his head and there she was. Felicity. Every time he stopped whatever he was doing, there she was in her mind. He kept thinking about her smile and her laugh. The way she blushed at him. He wanted to know how far down that blush went. He’d spent the last day simultaneously kicking himself for not getting her number and convincing himself that he didn’t have the time or energy to spend on anyone else right now.

Grace demanded his attention. Apparently, she was done with the swing. After pulling her up and out of the swing, he settled her on his hip and turned to the toddler sized playground the city had set up. He knew that Grace loved the little slide and headed that way. Halfway there he noticed a group over on the green lawn. It looked like they were doing yoga. There was about a dozen or so people being led by a small blonde woman. There it is again, he thought to himself. I keep seeing her everywhere. Placing Grace on the top of the little slide, he kept one eye on the yoga group. The instructor really did look like Felicity. Hair up in a ponytail like that, no glasses though. It couldn’t be her then.

“There you guys are,” Thea said as she returned. “I thought you’d left without me.” Grace clapped and reached for her mom. The brunette scooped her up with the ease of practice.

“Sorry. Gracie got tired of the swing,” Oliver said distractedly. He couldn’t stop looking over at the group. It looked like they were finishing up. Thea followed his line of sight. She smirked when she saw what had caught his attention. She couldn’t believe her luck. Must be fate.

“Hey, isn’t that Felicity?” Thea asked.

“No, it can’t be her. She’s not wearing glasses,” Oliver responded absently. Shit, why did I say that?

“Really? So, you do you know who I’m talking about?” Thea’s voice raised an octave as she questioned him. Oh this is too good, she thought. “Because I seem to remember you making some remark about the ‘story time woman’ when I asked you about it on Tuesday, but you couldn’t recall her name.” Thea smirked and at her big brother. She loved seeing him squirm.

“Fine, I knew who you were talking about, ok?” he gritted out.

“So, why lie to me? Didn’t we just have a big conversation about being honest with each other?” she teased. Oliver sighed and grabbed Grace off the slide and threw her in the air just to hear her laugh.

“Do you want to go practice your walking, Gracie?” he asked her, knowing she would. The little girl loved to hold his hands and walk in front of him. He walked her over the grassy area next to the playground.

“Ollie, you are avoiding the question,” his sister reminded him. He sighed.

“I just didn’t want the full Thea Queen inquisition about every woman I am in contact with every day. And in the spirit of full disclosure, I ran into her at a coffee shop the other day, too. There, happy now?” Walking across the grass had put them closer to the yoga group (which was NOT his plan at all) and he found himself distracted by the group leader again. She was facing away from him now as she led the class through some advanced looking positions. Oliver could feel his mouth go dry as he watched her slowly transition from pose to pose. She was in complete control of her body, bending it to almost unimaginable lengths. He could a sheen of sweat on her back around her sports bra from the effort she was putting out. He nearly groaned out loud when the mystery blonde bent straight over, putting her perfect ass in the air. The black short leggings she wore clung to every inch of her body and all of it together was pulling Oliver’s mind to a dark place. Definitely not the park. Turning, so his back was to the blonde, he walked Grace over to Thea who was currently glowering at him.

“What?” he asked her.

“The Thea Queen Inquisition? Really?” she huffed at him. Oliver smiled.

“I thought it had a nice ring to it.”

“Hmm, don’t think we won’t come back to that, but isn’t that your EA Emily with Sara?” Thea pointed to the yoga group that was just finishing up. Oliver glanced over and saw the women rolling up their mats.

“Yep,” he said, scooping Grace into his arms and up onto his shoulders. “Let’s go say hi.”

“Emily,” he called as he approached.

“Mr. Queen,” she responded, startled to see him out of the office. He rolled his eyes at her good naturedly.

“I’ve told you to call me Oliver when we aren’t at work,” he smiled at her.

“Sorry Mr. Queen, but I can’t do that,” she told him with an easy grin.

“Yeah, she won’t even call you that at home. Though you should hear some of the other names she calls you,” Sara joked as she reached over to tickle Grace’s knee. Emily swatted her girlfriend half-heartedly. Thankfully, she knew her boss was more than familiar with Sara’s particular brand of humor.

“Oh, I want to hear the names, Emily,” Thea baited her. Oliver smiled as he lifted a squirming Grace off of his shoulders. She didn’t seem to want his hands to walk so he placed her on the ground where she immediately began crawling away. He followed his niece as she crawled across the grass while he also kept an eye on Thea. He could see her begging Sara for more details who refused to give them up without alcohol.

“Grace?” Oliver’s head whipped around in time to see the baby being picked up by the hot blonde yoga instructor, Felicity. His eyes raked over her while she was distracted, taking note of the gentle curve of her hips. Her flat stomach with a hint of definition. Moving up he was taken in by her breasts currently being supported by a purple sports bra that pushed them up. He tore his eyes away from them before he got light-headed, he moved to her face. God, she was beautiful.

“Hello Felicity,” he said, voice a lot deeper than he intended. The blonde’s head shot up. His breath caught as she looked at him. He hadn’t seen her without her glasses before and he was surprised how much bigger her eyes were without them. He saw surprise and then…something else, flash through them. He wasn’t sure what it was. Longing? Uncertainty? He had an almost overwhelming need to ask her, but he held himself back.

“Oliver. What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Thea and I had breakfast with Grace and then decided to bring her to the park,” he explained.

“Oh, Thea’s here?” she questioned, face softening as she looked for the other woman.

“Yeah, she’s over there trying to get secrets from Sara,” he jerked his head in the direction of the group he had left. “You guys know Sara and Emily? They are two of my regulars. I love them,” she gushed.

“Not as much as I love you, though,” she assured Grace who was smiling at her.

“So, you teach yoga,” he began, hoping she would continue the conversation. She nodded.

“About six years now. I took a yoga class in college for a health requirement, which I always thought was completely stupid, but I fell in love with it. So, I kept taking more and more classes and when I found myself back in Starling I decided to get my certification. Actually, it was Roy that convinced me to do it,” she told him.

“Roy?” Oliver was slightly taken a back. Was there anyone in his life she didn’t know?

“Yeah,” she laughed. “I was taking classes through this gym where he used to be a personal trainer. We became friends and he convinced me that I could be a good teacher, so I did. As soon as he opened his place he asked me to come teach for him. I gladly accepted.” She smiled up at him. He felt a pang of jealousy as he wondered if she and Roy had dated. He dismissed the thought quickly. Thea would have mentioned something about it if they had.

Grace demanded to be put down. Felicity bent over to set the baby in the soft grass giving Oliver a clear view down her sports bra. He cleared his throat as he tried to look away. That’s when she realized she was standing there talking to Oliver Queen in a just a pair of cropped leggings and a sports bra. She flushed as she reached for her bag nearby and threw on the first shirt she found inside. It was a white tank with pink flamingos on it that formed a heart with their beaks. It was adorable, just like her. She was so damn cute.

“Have you gone out on your own teaching now?” he asked her.

“Oh no, I still work for Roy. This is the advanced class for Harper Health Studio. I convinced him to let me hold the class outside when the weather is nice. It’s a good change of pace,” she said animatedly as she gestured around the park. “Plus, it adds a level of difficulty with all the distractions.”

“Felicity!” Thea shouted as she came upon them. Sara and Emily were right behind her. Oliver groaned inwardly when he saw the looks on Sara and Thea’s faces. Trouble. Thea threw her arms around Felicity when she got to her and pulled her in for a big hug. The blonde accepted the hug readily and squeezed back.

“Thea! I missed you this week. Story time just wasn’t the same without you,” she told the brunette after she let go.

“I know. I’m sorry. Something came up at the club and it couldn’t be helped. I sent a replacement, though,” she reminded her as she glanced at her brother. He barely resisted rolling his eyes. Felicity laughed.

“Yes, I humiliated myself quite epically in front of your replacement. Twice, actually.”

“I wouldn’t call it humiliating, “Oliver told her with a grin.

“Well, you weren’t the one who babbled uncontrollably about your sex life within ten seconds of meeting you. I can’t even imagine what I might have said next if Tommy hadn’t stopped me,” she said with a self-deprecating smile.

“Oh my God! What did you do the second time?” Thea asked with a laugh as she reached down to pick up Grace who was trying to eat a caterpillar. “Oh, nothing major. I just snorted at him.” Thea lost it. She started laughing so hard she was having trouble holding onto her daughter. Oliver reached over and took the baby from her. Grace leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“It wasn’t funny, Thea!” Felicity exclaimed at her friend. “I’m surprised your brother will even talk to me! He must be terrified about what might come out of my mouth!”

“Her brother is standing right here,” Oliver reminded her. “And I’m not terrified. If anything, I’m fascinated. Plus, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Which time?”

“Both,” he answered with a grin. Felicity grinned back at him and he felt his stomach flutter again. Thea moved her head back and forth between the two of them as the exchange continued. Did they even realize that they were flirting with each other? She glanced over at Sara who was watching with the same fascination.

“Well, Felicity. I’ll have to tell Roy that you are still kicking our asses in yoga. That was a tough class,” Sara told her when there was a pause in the flirting.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure I was too hard on you, Sara,” Felicity said sarcastically. “You could kick my ass one-handed.”

“True, but I’ll never be as flexible as you,” Sara said with a smirk. “It’s really impressive.” She could see Oliver squirm a little at the mention of Felicity’s flexibility and nudged Emily who caught on quickly.

“Yeah,” Emily chimed in. “I don’t know how you can touch your head with your feet in the scorpion pose.”

“Oh, it’s just a matter of focus and lots of practice,” Felicity explained, completely oblivious to the pictures conjuring up inside Oliver’s head. “I’ve spent years building muscle and flexibility to get to that point.” The other three women barely held back their laughter and the pained expression on Oliver’s face.

“On that note, we should probably be going,” Sara told the group as she grabbed Emily’s hand. The redhead smiled fondly at her girlfriend.

“Yes, we should. Goodbye, Felicity, Thea and Mr. Queen. You too, little Miss Queen,” she added with a wave to Grace. Grace waved back, happily.

“See you on Monday, Emily. Bye Sara,” Oliver said to the women as they walked away.

“Wait, why did Emily call you Mr. Queen?” Felicity asked, confused. “I mean I know it’s your name, but no one else calls you that, do they? She called Thea by her name.” Oliver reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder to halt the ramble he saw building in her head.

“Felicity,” he said, gently. She stopped and looked at him. “I’m only Mr. Queen in the business world. Emily is my Executive Assistant and refuses to drop the formality outside of the office.

“Emily is your EA? Wow. You’re really lucky, she’s great,” Felicity told him with a smile. Oliver couldn’t help but smile back. He was having a hard time remembering why he didn’t want to get involved with anyone right now. Screw it, he thought, opening his mouth to ask her to dinner.

“Felicity?” he heard a voice call from across the park. Three heads turned in unison to see a tall, thin man with dark hair making his way towards them.

“Barry?! Oh my God!” Felicity shouted as she dropped her gym back to run to the man. He scooped her up and spun her in a circle. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on, laughing. Oliver’s stomach dropped like a stone. Of course she was with someone. He didn’t know why the idea never occurred to him before now. She was beautiful and funny and sweet. Naturally, someone else had seen all that and done something about it. Oliver forced himself to look away towards Thea who looked extremely confused.

“Ollie, I…...”Thea started.

“It’s fine,” he told her shortly. “I’m going to go. I’ll see you later, Speedy. Love you Gracie,” he said as he leaned to kiss his niece on the cheek. He kept his eyes averted as he moved past the happy couple, but he wasn’t so lucky.

“Oliver!” he heard Felicity call. Stopping, he took a breath and plastered on his best fake smile before turning around. He could do this. There was no reason to be upset. She was just a girl he had met a couple of times. No big deal. “Oliver, this is Barry Allen. Barry, this is Oliver Queen. And this is Thea and Grace Harper,” Felicity added to her introduction as the other two walked up.

“Nice to meet you, Barry,” Oliver said, a little too politely, as he shook the other man’s hand. He may have squeezed a little too hard at the end. Barry tried to hide his wince.

“Nice to meet you, too, Mr. Queen.” Barry replied after Oliver let go, flexing his hand just a little.

“Barry is my b….” Felicity began before Oliver cut her off. He really didn’t want to hear it.

“I have to go,” he said, abruptly. “Nice seeing you again, Felicity. I’ll call you later, Thea,” he stated coolly before turning on his heel and stalking away, leaving a trio of confused, shocked and slightly hurt faces in his wake. This is why it’s easier to be alone, he thought to himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you liked it! Come find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lynslogic) and let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone who has read, commented and left kudos. You have no idea how much they mean to me! Thanks again to Zee for being my beta. Your input is invaluable! Come find me at lynslogic on tumblr and fangirl with me!

By the time Oliver got to the restaurant that night, he was in a foul mood. He couldn’t stop kicking himself for even thinking of asking Felicity out. Add in the fact that he had had a huge fight with Thea about his behavior that morning he was sure he wasn’t going to be good company for Tommy and Laurel tonight. He thought about cancelling, but he had cancelled last week and he knew he needed to spend some time with them. They had all been so close once and it was time to get some of that back.

After giving his name at the door, he was led to a table near the back window where his friends were already waiting.

“Sorry I’m late,” he apologized, leaning over to kiss Laurel’s cheek before sitting down.

“It’s ok, we’re used to it,” Laurel teased him. Her grin fell, though when she saw the fake smile he plastered on his face in response. Her brow furrowed in concern, but she didn’t say anything. Tommy, however, wasn’t so tactful.

“What’s wrong, man? You seem tense,” he asked after getting a good look at Oliver’s face. They may not be as close as they used to be, but Tommy could still read the other man pretty well.

“Nothing. I’m fine,” Oliver said tersely.

“But…” Tommy started.

“Tommy,” Laurel said placing a hand on her husband’s arm.

“No, it’s fine,” Oliver sighed. “I just had a fight with Thea this afternoon and it put me in a bad mood, that’s all.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Laurel asked, concerned. She knew Thea and Oliver didn’t fight often. Not really. Bicker, sure, but not usually anything that would upset him this much.

“There’s not much to talk about. Thea just needs to mind her own business and stay out of my personal life,” Oliver told them.

“So Thea admitted to setting you up, huh?” Tommy replied with a smirk on his face. “I tried to warn her that you wouldn’t be happy when you found out.”

“What?” Oliver deadpanned at his friend. He had no idea what Tommy was talking about, but he didn’t like the sound of it.

“Yeah, what?” Laurel repeated at Tommy, just as confused as Oliver. Just then Tommy realized he had put his foot in his mouth. Obviously, he had gotten the reason behind Oliver and Thea’s fight wrong and judging by the look on the blond man’s face, there was going to be another one. Quickly weighing Thea’s anger versus Oliver’s anger, he came out on Oliver’s side. Tommy took a deep breath before speaking.

“Thea didn’t have a meeting on Tuesday. She faked one to get you to take Grace to story time.” Tommy grimaced when his wife smacked his arm. “Ow! I didn’t know before, I swear. I figured it out later.”

“Why did she want me to take Grace to story time?” Oliver wondered. He wasn’t mad at his best friend, just confused.

“Really? You have to ask?” Tommy asked him incredulously. Man, sometimes Oliver could be so oblivious. “She wanted you to meet Felicity.”

“Felicity?” Oliver laughed humorlessly. “Well, that didn’t exactly work out well for her did it?”

“Oh come on, man,” Tommy grinned at him. “I saw the way you were looking at her. And judging by the way she babbled at you, I’m pretty sure she was interested in you. She only gets that way when she nervous. Or excited. Or-”

“She babbled at him?” Laurel interrupted with a worried expression. “How bad was it?”

“Not the worst I’ve ever seen, but right up there,” her husband told her with a smile.

“Wait, you know Felicity too?” Oliver asked. Seriously. How did everyone in his life know this woman?

“Oh, I’ve known Felicity for years. I’m actually the one who introduced her and Thea.” Laurel told him, casually. She was careful not to say too much. She knew how much Felicity valued her privacy. Oliver looked at Laurel expectantly. Seeing her expression he knew she wasn’t going to be sharing any more details.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. I saw her this morning at the park,” he told them. “And met her boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend? She never said anything about a boyfriend,” Laurel said glancing at Tommy who shook his head.

“Nope. Not to me either,” he replied.

“Wait,” Laurel said before Oliver could say anything else. “Was he tall, blond and cute? Blue eyes and broad shoulders?” she asked.

“No,” Oliver responded, slowly. “Tall, dark hair, skinny. I’m not sure about the eye color.”

“Huh,” Laurel said staring at something to his right. “What are you looking at?” Oliver asked, slightly annoyed. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Felicity being escorted in by the man Laurel had just described. The other man had his hand on her lower back and Oliver felt a flash of jealousy shoot through his gut. He tried to tamp it down as he turned back to his friends.

“Nope. Different man.” Oliver said shortly picking up his menu. “What do you guys recommend here?” Laurel and Tommy glanced at each other.

“The salmon is amazing,” Laurel told him

 

 

The three friends were halfway through a shared appetizer of California rolls, when Oliver noticed movement to his right. He had been very determinedly not noticing Felicity’s table, but now he couldn’t help glancing her way. It looked as though Felicity’s date was leaving. He could see the man saying something to her, his expression extremely apologetic. She was nodding with a small, anxious smile on her face. Oliver tensed when the other man leaned down and kissed her briefly on the cheek before leaving her. He saw Felicity sigh before looking around for the waiter.

“I’ll be right back.” Oliver turned back to see Laurel getting up from the table. He watched her walk over to the table where the blonde was sitting.

“You know she’s going to invite Felicity to have dinner with us, right?” Oliver’s head shot back to the dark haired man beside him.

“What?”

“Laurel. She’s going to ask Felicity to come have dinner with us. They’ve been friends for a long time. She won’t let her be alone.” Seconds later, Laurel appeared back at the table with Felicity being dragged behind her. The men stood as the women approached the table. Oliver’s breath caught as he looked at her. She was wearing a white sheath [dress](http://www.polyvore.com/accidental_double_date/set?id=153208164) with big colorful flowers over it. She had on bright pink pumps and small knotted silver earrings. Her hair was down and her glasses were gone again, making her eyes look huge. Right now those eyes were looking back at him with trepidation.

“Felicity’s date had to leave, I told her she should join us for dinner,” Laurel told the men. She shot Oliver a look that almost dared him to contradict her.

“And I told Laurel that I did not want to interrupt a dinner between friends,” Felicity told them in a tight voice. “I am more than ok going home, putting on my PJ’s and catching up with my DVR.”

“No. Don’t be silly. You look too beautiful to be sitting at home,” Tommy told her. “Join us.”

“I’m pretty sure Oliver would prefer if I didn’t,” she said in a small voice. She flashed a brief smile. “You

guys enjoy your dinner.” Felicity turned and began to walk away. Oliver was so entranced by the sway of her hips he almost missed Laurel hitting him on the arm. “Oliver,” she hissed. “Go after her!” Right.

“Felicity!” he called. She ignored him and kept walking. Oliver took off at a quick walk to catch up. Reaching out, he gently grasped her elbow to stop her. “Felicity, wait.”

“It’s ok, Oliver,” she said, turning around. She was focused on a spot over his left shoulder, not looking him in the eye. “I know you’re trying to be polite, but I also know you don’t want to be around me. Just tell Tommy and Laurel I insisted on going home.” She tried to walk away again, but Oliver held tight to her elbow. She finally looked at him and he could see embarrassment and, damn, hurt in her eyes. Hurt he was sure he had put there.

“Felicity, I like being around you. Please don’t go,” he told her softly. He saw the hurt start to be replaced by uncertainty.

“But,” she started.

“I know I was an ass this morning at the park. Please forgive me and have dinner with Tommy, Laurel and me. Please?” he pleaded with her. He was burning with curiosity about Barry from this morning and the other man she had seen her with tonight, but that was all secondary to getting her to stay.

“Ok,” she agreed with a soft smile. Oliver grinned at her in return. Letting go of her elbow, he slid his hand down her arm to grasp her hand in his. It was small and cool and perfect. Together they walked back to the table.

“Felicity has agreed to join us,” Oliver told his friends.

Once they business of adding another chair to the table and ordering their dinners was concluded, Laurel wasted no time on getting to the details.

 “So, Felicity,” she began. “Was that Eddie Thawn you were with earlier?” Felicity nodded as she took a sip of her wine. “I didn’t realize that you two were dating,” Laurel pressed.

“We’re not dating,” Felicity told her, carefully not looking at Oliver. “I mean, I guess we are dating. This was A date. Technically, this was our third date.”

“Technically?” Oliver couldn’t help, but ask. If she was ‘dating’ this Eddie guy, what about Barry from this morning.

“Well, it’s more that it was our third first date. Does that make sense?” Felicity glanced around the table and saw blank faces. “This was our third ATTEMPT at a first date. Just like tonight, he keeps getting called away.”

“Called away? Is he a doctor?” Tommy asked her. “No. He’s a cop. He’s John’s new partner,” Felicity added, looking at Laurel. The brunette reached over and squeezed the other woman’s hand comfortingly.

“John?” Oliver tried to ask casually.

“John Diggle,” she replied. “He was my dad’s partner.”

“Is he a tall man with biceps that look like bowling balls?” Oliver inquired. Felicity’s eyes went wide.

“Yes! How did you know that?” she questioned. Laurel and Tommy were both also looking at him with interest. “Roy introduced us the other day,” he told everyone. “He’s my new sparring partner.”

“Oh, that’s great!” she said enthusiastically. “I haven’t had a chance to talk to him for a few days, but I know he’ll be excited to have a new person’s ass to kick.” Oliver’s eyes shot up at her words. He saw the second she realized what she had just said. Her eyes went huge and her mouth dropped open in shock. He had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing. “Oh my God. I didn’t mean that Digg could kick your ass! It’s just that he usually does. Kick everyone’s ass, I mean! But maybe he won’t, with you. You could be good. You’re certainly built for it. Not that I’m looking! Oh God!”

“Felicity,” Oliver said  trying to keep the laughter out of his voice. He placed a hand on her knee under the table. He felt a jolt of electricity shoot through his hand when it made contact with her skin. When her blue eyes shot to his, he knew she had felt it too. “Digg is good. I can understand why you assumed he would kick my ass,” he told her. She smiled gratefully at him. “For the record, though, it was a draw,” he told the table in general.

Felicity and Tommy laughed at him. Laurel was quiet, though, staring at him with a contemplative look on her face. When the waiter appeared with their dinners, Oliver realized his hand was still on Felicity’s knee. He removed it reluctantly.

After everyone had a few bites of their dinner, Oliver decided he needed more information on the beautiful woman sitting next to him. Thinking that questions about Barry and Eddie might be misconstrued, he thought he’d start with a safer topic.

“You said that John was your dad’s partner. Does your dad have a new partner now?” Oliver asked. Felicity froze next to him and he quickly realized that this was far from a safe topic.

“No,” she replied softly. “He's dead.” Oliver’s heart stopped at her quiet confession. He quickly reached over and grabbed her hand. When he squeezed she looked up at him.

“I’m so sorry, Felicity,” he told with sincere regret. God, he was such an idiot. “I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories for you.”

“No,” she reassured him, squeezing his hand back. “All my memories of Joe are good ones.”

“His name was Joe?” he asked releasing her hand slowly.

“Joe West was one of the best detectives Starling City has ever seen,” Laurel told him. “My dad still talks about him.” Felicity smiled at that. She loved knowing that Joe was still missed by more than just her and Iris.

“Technically, Joe was my stepdad. He met my mom when I was 10. It was this crazy, love at first sight, whirlwind romance,” she told him wistfully, eyes shining at the memory. “Within the span of two months, they met and fell in love and got married and suddenly I had a dad and a little sister. I tried to be resentful, you know, be a typical kid about it, but I just couldn’t,” she gave a little laugh. “I fell in love with Joe too. And Iris.”

Oliver smiled at her, but he could see the sadness lingering in her eyes. It was obvious that this fairy tale didn’t exactly have a happy ending. He waited, silently, for her to finish.

“Five years ago, Joe and my mom were killed in a car accident,” she said flatly. He watched as she straightened her shoulders. “Digg was always like an uncle to Iris and I, so after they died he started watching out for us even more.” She gave him a small smile and Oliver was astounded by her strength. She had experienced a tragedy and still came out smiling. Remarkable.

Tommy cleared his throat and Oliver jolted a little. He had been so busy staring into her blue eyes that he had forgotten they weren’t alone. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one. Felicity shook her head slightly as if to clear it before turning to Laurel and asking about James’ upcoming first birthday party. Oliver focused on his dinner and did his very best to ignore the look Tommy was shooting him. His best friend could still read him too well and right now he knew Oliver was in deep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo sorry this took so long. My muse, inspiration, whatever, completely went away for a while. This is my first multichapter fic and I think I started to feel overwhelmed. Anyway, thank you for sticking it out with me so far. I think I have a better idea where this is going now.

 

 The rest of the dinner progressed fairly well. Oliver avoided bringing up any other sensitive topics; Felicity managed to keep the babbles to a minimum, and Laurel and Tommy kept the conversation flowing with lighter topics of work and kids. Tommy being a stay-at-home dad had some especially funny stories of playgroup antics which, in turn, had Felicity chiming in with some tales from her story time kids. Oliver honestly couldn’t remember the last time he laughed so hard and so much. He could easily become addicted to the way he felt around her.

“How’s Barry?”

Oliver’s stomach dropped as his eyes popped wide. Laurel knew about Barry? How could she not tell him? He saw his the confusion on his friend’s face as he shot her a nasty look.

Felicity looked up from the dessert menu at Laurel’s question and smiled.

“Great, actually,” she told her with a smile. “He’s back.”

“He’s back already?” Laurel question, surprised. “I thought he wasn’t due back for another week!”

“He decided to surprise everyone. In fact, he surprised me at the park this morning.” The excitement dropped from Felicity’s voice as she remembered Oliver’s reaction to meeting Barry that morning.

“Wait,” Tommy interjected. “This morning? Barry surprised you this morning?”

“Yes,” Felicity responded slowly. “He had just got back into town and wanted to say hi before…” Her voice trailed off as Tommy began laughing. When he saw the confusion on everyone’s faces, Tommy just laughed harder.

“Tommy,” Laurel hissed at him. “What is wrong with you?”

“This morning,” he choked out through the laughter. “At the park, Laurel.” Tommy stared at his wife as he tried to control the laughter. After a beat, he saw the realization light up her eyes. He nodded at her when she gaped at him.

Eyes shining with humor, Laurel turned back to the other couple. Two pairs of blue eyes were staring back at her. One set was lit with questions and confusion. The other set burning with betrayal. She sighed inwardly.

“Oliver mentioned seeing you this morning at the park,” Laurel addressed Felicity. Tommy snorted next to her then grunted as she stomped on his foot under the table.

“Um, yeah,” Felicity hedged. “I mean Oliver was there when Barry showed up, but I didn’t really get a chance to introduce them. Oliver had to leave suddenly.”

Oliver, for his part, managed to look abashed.

“Sorry,” he told her, wincing at the memory of his behavior. “I never did let you finish, did I? Barry is your…?”

“Best friend,” Felicity said, finishing the sentence for him. “He’s been in Switzerland for the last six months.”

Oliver’s shoulders dropped with relief at her words. Best friend, not boyfriend. Logically, he figured she wouldn’t have been on a date tonight with someone else if she had a boyfriend, but hearing the words made him feel so much better.

Oliver tore his eyes from Felicity’s to see Tommy still laughing. Even Laurel was fighting back a grin. His friends knew him too damn well. He kicked Tommy under the table just because he could and bit back his own smirk when his friend yelped.

Felicity’s eyes darted between him and Tommy before narrowing slightly in his direction. Oliver tried his best to look innocent, but he could tell he was less than successful.

“Can I interest you in our dessert menu?” Four pairs of eyes shot to the waiter standing next to the table.

“Actually, we should probably get going,” Laurel answered for her and Tommy. “James is with my dad and I can guarantee he won’t be paying attention to his bedtime.”

“That’s just because they are so much alike,” Tommy assured her before turning to the waiter. “We’ll take the check, please.”

“The bill has already been taken care of, sir. Enjoy your evening,” the waiter said before leaving the table.

“Oliver,” Tommy glared over at his best friend who had a smug look on his face. Oliver just stared back and Tommy sighed. He knew there was no point in arguing.

Laurel just shook her head at the two men and their competitiveness.

“Thank you for dinner, Oliver. Felicity, I’m so glad you were able to join us,” she told the blonde.

“Me too,” Felicity replied, genuinely. She reached over and squeezed the other woman’s hand.

Oliver stood as his friends did. He stuck out his hand to Tommy who pulled him in for a quick, but tight hug. When he leaned in to kiss Laurel’s upturned cheek, she whispered to him, “Don’t screw this up.” When he pulled back he saw he eyes dart to Felicity. He gave a quick nod.

Felicity stood to kiss Tommy’s cheek and hug Laurel.

“Give James a big kiss for me. I’ll see you at story time on Tuesday?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Tommy replied. “Have fun kids!”

 

Oliver looked over at Felicity after his, their, friends had left. She was chewing on her bottom lip and her eyes were filled with uncertainty. Was she nervous about being alone with him? His heart started beating wildly at the thought. He didn’t want her to be nervous, but he had to admit that the idea of being alone with her, finally, was incredibly appealing.

“I should go too.”

His heart sank at her words. She wanted to leave?

“Oh,” was all he managed to say.

Felicity’s eyes shot to his and widened when she saw the disappointment in them. He wanted to stay?

“Not that this hasn’t been great, because it really has,” she told him. “Dinner was wonderful. I really appreciate you letting me crash your night with your friends.”

“Felicity, I think they’re just as much your friends as they are mine. Maybe more,” he said, without rancor. She flashed a smile that made his pulse skip a beat.

“Anyway, I had a great time, but I’m sure you have much better things to do with the rest of your evening than sit here with me. Thank you for dinner.”

She reached for her purse and began to stand up when Oliver’s hand shot out and grasped hers. She looked at their joined hands and then back at him questioningly.

“There is nowhere I’d rather be than with you tonight, Felicity,” he said softly, running his thumb over her knuckles.

Oliver waited for her to respond, but she said nothing. A smile bloomed across his face when he realized he had rendered her speechless. He waited patiently for her to gather herself, slowly rubbing circles in the soft flesh on her hand. After a minute, she squeezed his hand and he heard her take a deep breath.

“Ok then. Since you bought dinner, I think it’s only fair that I buy you dessert. There’s a little blues bar around the corner with a great wine selection and an amazing crème Brule. What do you say, Mr. Queen?” she asked him with a twinkle in her eye.

“I say, lead the way, Ms. Smoak.”

 

 

Fifteen minutes later, Oliver found himself tucked into a little corner booth at the back of a blues club. They each had a glass of red wine in front of them and had just finished ordering their desserts. Oliver’s eyes were on the stage filled with musicians, but his attention was on the woman next him. The booth they were sharing was very small which meant that Felicity was pressed up next to him. He tried to listen to the music, but his mind kept going back to the sensation of her thigh pressed up next to his. Or the way her arm would brush his when she reached for wine glass. The smell of her hair when she moved her head. Lemons and lavender.

“This place is great,” he started. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Not so much anymore. I used a lot with Joe and my mom. Joe loved this place,” she told him with a fond smile. “He would drag everyone here. Whether they wanted to come or not.”

“Who wouldn’t want to come to my place?” Oliver turned his head to see a pretty brunette carrying two crème Brule’s in front of him.

“Oliver, this is Lyla. She owns this place.” He could hear the obvious affection in Felicity’s voice. “I was just telling Oliver how Joe used to bring everyone he knew here.”

“Thank goodness he did,” Lyla said, placing the desserts in front of them. “Or I would have never met my husband.”

“Your husband?” Oliver asked.

“Lyla is married to John. Diggle,” Felicity told him. Ah, more of her extended family.

“You must be the Oliver that gave my husband a run for his money the other day,” Lyla told him with a grin.

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Oliver replied. “He beat me pretty soundly.”

“You must be better than you think. He said you were one of the better fighters he’s seen in a long time. Johnny doesn’t say things like that easily,” she informed him. Oliver shrugged, but the compliment meant a lot to him.

“What don’t I say?”

Oliver looked up to see that Diggle had joined the group. His hands were placed on his wife’s shoulders as he looked at the table.

“I was just meeting Oliver,” Lyla told him. “He and Felicity are on a date.”

Felicity choked on her wine. Dig’s eyebrows furrowed as she tried to stop coughing.

“I thought you were going out with Eddie tonight?” he asked, confused. Oliver’s heart sank at the reminder.

“I was,” she agreed. “Until he got called away. Again.”

“He got called in? I didn’t get a call.” The look of confusion on his face deepened. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

“Maybe he just wanted an out, Digg,” she said quietly. Diggle’s eyes shot up at her words. She shook her head at him to stop whatever he was going to say. “Anyway, after he got called away, I found out that Laurel, Tommy and Oliver were having dinner at the same restaurant. They, very kindly, asked me to join them. I offered to buy Oliver dessert as a thank you. So, here we are.”

Oliver could tell she was trying to lighten the mood. He had so many questions, though. Why would Eddie want to get out of a date with her? Why did Diggle look so upset? Oliver mentally shook his head and decided to let it go. For now.

“Well, that was very nice of you,” Lyla addressed Oliver. “We will go and let you two enjoy your dessert.”

Diggle leaned over the table and whispered in Felicity’s ear before kissing her cheek. As he straightened he stuck out his hand to Oliver.

“Thank you for keeping her company tonight,” Diggle said to Oliver as they shook hands, the implication clear. The older man wasn’t completely thrilled with the idea of them together, but he would reserve judgement. For the time being. “Can I kick your ass again next week?”

Oliver laughed. “I think I can make some time on Monday.”

Digg nodded before walking away leaving the two of them alone again.

“Time for dessert,” Felicity said brightly. She picked up her spoon and cracked through the sugar crusted top. Oliver watched in fascination as she scooped up the custard and took a bite. When she moaned in pleasure, the sound shot straight through him.

To distract himself, Oliver scooped up his own confection. He had chosen the chocolate truffle crème Brule. It was as good as it sounded, but he barely tasted a thing. He was too caught up in watching Felicity eat hers. The way she closed her eyes and savored every bite had his mind wandering to what she might look like if she was tasting him instead of the dessert. HE shifted in his seat, trying to adjust his pants from the sudden tightness.

“So, you’ve told me a lot about Joe,” he began. “You haven’t said much about your mom, though. Were you two not close?”

“Oh, no,” she laughed. “My mom and I were very close. I think I talk more about Joe because it hurts a little less, you know?” she asked, looking at him with those bright blue eyes.

“You don’t have to talk about her now if you don’t want,” he assured her.

“No, its ok,” she said, taking a sip of her wine. “My mom was…my mom. She was light and funny and cheerful. My dad has been out of the picture since I was young, so it’s always been just the two of us.”

Oliver’s heart broke a little at the sadness in her eyes when she spoke of her mom.

“It wasn’t always easy. We didn’t have much and she had to work a lot. But I never went hungry and I always knew how much she loved me,” Felicity told him with tears shimmering in her eyes.

“What was her name?” he asked, gently.

“Donna. Her name was Donna”

Oliver lifted his wine glass and waited for her to do the same.

“To Donna,” he said.

“To Donna.”

 

 

The rest of the evening passed quickly. They talked about books (her favorite was Little Women while his was Brave New World), movies (what do you mean you’ve never seen The Avengers?!) and TV shows (Oliver, do you mean to tell me that the last series you watched was Lost?). They covered first kisses and first loves. They glossed over the heart breaks, though. All Felicity would say was that she tended to attract men that were emotionally compromised. She figured that was why Diggle kept trying to fix her up with Eddie. Someone nice and safe.

The time passed so fast that he was surprised when Lyla was kicking them out so she could close up. After a minute of convincing, Felicity accepted his offer of a ride home. On the short trip Oliver felt his nerves kick in a little. God, he hadn’t been nervous around a woman since he was 15. Should he kiss her? Technically, they weren’t on a date, but he really, really wanted to kiss her.

Felicity had gone quiet next to him as they neared her house. He wondered what she was thinking about. Before he could ask her, they pulled up in front of a cute, little twin home. The yard was neat and the front porch light was on, waiting for her.

Oliver turned off the car and got out before she had the chance to say anything. He quickly made his way over to the passenger side and opened the door for her. He held out a hand to help her out of the low car. She took it and murmured her thanks. He didn’t let go when she was out, he just held on as they walked to the front door. Once there, Felicity turned to him.

“Thank you for everything tonight, Oliver. I’m really glad you, Laurel and Tommy were there. I had a really nice time,” she told him reaching into her bag for her keys.

“Me too. I’m glad I got the chance to see you again. Thank you for dessert.”

She laughed. “You’re welcome.” She tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear and looked up at him with those baby blue eyes. It made his heart stop. When her darted out to wet her lips, he was gone.

Almost without thought he leaned into her. She closed her eyes as he neared her and her lips parted just a little. That’s when the panic hit. Somehow he knew that if he kissed her that would be it for him. She would be it. Something about her pulled at him, but he couldn’t do it. He had far too much baggage. He could never inflict that on someone else. Especially not her, she deserved so much better.

At the last second he changed direction and lightly kissed her cheek instead. When he pulled back he could see the surprise and what he thought was hurt in her eyes.

“Well,” she mumbled. “I guess this is good night.” Oliver sighed and smiled sadly at her.

“Good night, Felicity.”

“Good night, Oliver,” she said, avoiding his gaze as she turned and walked in the house.

Oliver walked back to his car after he heard the deadbolt turn inside the house. Once he was inside the car, he laid his head down on the steering wheel.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I'm lynslogic over at tumblr. Come find me and fangirl out with me. Thanks again to Zee at octoberobserver for being my beta and cheerleader. You are awesome! I'm heading to Las Vegas for a week, but I should be able to work on the next chapter after that. Comments are appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep saying this, but I am so sorry about the delay on this chapter. I struggled with it, but it's necessary for the story. There's no Oliver/Felicity interaction in this one, but I promise there will be in the next. Thanks again to Zee for being my awesome beta. And thanks to Tina3dayw for a third opinion when I struggled. Let me know what you guys think!  
> One more note. There is a mild violence at the beginning of this chapter. It's not long or too violent, but I wanted to warn anyone that might have a problem with it.

She was crying. She was trying not to let him see, but the tears were streaming down her face. Her hands were tied behind her back so she had no way of wiping them away. Her eye was swollen shut from where he had hit her earlier and she could taste blood in her mouth. 

“Where is it?” the man in front of her demanded. Just hours earlier they had looked at her with warmth and humor. All of that was gone now, replaced by a darkness she never saw hiding in him. Felicity couldn’t believe this was the same man she had fallen for months earlier. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” she told for what felt like the hundredth time. They had been going around and around with this for hours now.

“Don’t be such a stupid bitch,” he snarled. “Just tell me where the money is and I’ll let you go.”

Felicity knew he was lying. She could see it in his eyes. He was going to kill her. 

“Please, I don’t know what money you are talking about. Just let me go!” she pleaded, knowing it was futile. 

“Don’t play dumb with me. We both know you’re not. Too bad you got all the brains and none of the looks. At least that whore you call a mother is a looker. Not you, though.” He began circling her as he appraised her battered body. “I can’t believe I had to pretend to like you for all these months. Just touching you made my skin crawl. I don’t know how I ever managed to get it up to fuck you.”

As he spoke his face began to change. His brown eyes faded to blue. Dark hair lightened. His jaw became more pronounced. Suddenly, Felicity was looking at Oliver. 

“You are nothing,” Oliver told her, coldly. “You are worthless. I could never be with someone as insignificant as you.” 

“No, no, please,” Felicity sobbed, not even trying to hide it anymore. She struggled against the ties at her hands and feet, desperate to get away. To make it end.

“Felicity. Felicity! Please open your eyes. You’re safe, sweetie. I promise, you’re safe.”

Felicity could hear a voice calling to her. She could feel her subconscious reaching for the voice.

“That’s it, honey,” the voice said. “We’re right here. Come on, wake up.”

Slowly, Felicity opened her eyes. Staring back at her were three sets of concerned eyes. Iris, Barry and Thea?

“Thea?” Felicity croaked out, voice raw from screaming. “What are you doing here?”

“Shh, I’ll explain in a minute. Let’s talk about you first. What do you need?” Thea smoothed a hand over Felicity’s forehead.

“Water.”

“I’ll get it,” Barry offered before leaving the room. As he walked away, Felicity noticed he was wearing only a pair of sweats. She must have woken him up. The shame started to flood her body.

“No, none of that,” Thea admonished when she noticed her friend’s face. “There is no reason to be embarrassed or worried about putting anyone out. You know we all love you.”

“What time is it?” Felicity asked. “I must have woken everyone up.”

“It’s actually around 9.” Iris informed her as Barry re-entered the room with a large glass of water. “We were up late last night.” Felicity couldn’t help but smile when Barry turned pink at Iris’ words. 

Thea burst out laughing at Barry’s discomfort. “God, you guys are cute.” 

Iris smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Her focus was on her sister. She could see that the nightmare had shaken Felicity more than she expected. She also knew that she would never talk about it with her in the room.

“Why don’t Barry and I go out and get some coffee and pastries? Then you guys can talk,” Iris offered.

“I can just go if you want to stay and talk too, Iris,” Barry told her. Iris smiled at him. This time it was genuine.

“It’s ok. Felicity won’t talk to me,” she told him, no censure in her voice. While she might not understand her sister’s need to keep the details from her, she would never judge her for doing what she needed to do to feel whole. She was so incredibly grateful for Thea.

“Any requests?” Iris asked lightly. Felicity shook her head.

“You know what I like.”

“As long as you bring back sugar and caffeine, I’ll be good,” Thea informed them.

Felicity reached out and grabbed Iris’ hand before she could leave. They just stared at each other, communicating wordlessly the gratitude, concern and love that words can’t always convey. With a final squeeze, Iris let go and led Barry out of the room.

After the other two had left the room, Thea crawled up to the head of Felicity’s bed. Kicking off her shoes, she burrowed under the purple comforter and pulled the blonde back until her head was in Thea’s lap. Slowly, Thea began stroking Felicity’s hair and she felt the tension begin to drain out of her. Thea was silent. No questions, no demands. Just pure comfort. 

After several minutes, Felicity finally felt grounded enough to talk.

“It was Jace,” she said quietly. “I dreamed of the night he took me.” Thea stayed quiet. “I didn’t feel the pain this time. Not as much as I usually do. It was the words. The words he used to break me.”

“He didn’t break you,” Thea told her gently. “You’re not broken. And you are not worthless.”

Felicity tensed at her words, torn about whether or not to tell her friend the rest. In the end, honesty won out.

“He wasn’t the only one.”

“What?” Thea asked, confused. The two of them had been over each other’s nightmares many times, but this was the first time Felicity had ever mentioned  
someone else being there. “What do you mean? Was someone else there that night?”

Felicity shook her head. “No, but in the dream, Jace changed halfway through. He wasn’t the only one telling me I was worthless.”

“Who was it?”

The blonde sat up and looked at her friend’s confused face.

“It was Oliver.”

Thea’s eyes widened as she sucked in a breath of surprise. She closed her eyes for a moment trying to collect her thoughts. 

“Why would you dream about Oliver?” Thea questioned calmly, opening her eyes. “Did he do something?”

“I don’t know why I dreamed about him,” Felicity told her. It wasn’t a lie, but she had an idea. She just needed to think about it some more.

Thea just looked at her as if she could tell she was lying. She probably could, she was kind of scary that way. After a minute, Thea seemed to have decided to let it go. Felicity breathed a sigh of relief. She knew she’d have to talk about it eventually, but she was grateful for the reprieve.

“Why don’t you go take a shower,” Thea told her. “Clear your head a little bit.”

Felicity nodded. She started to rise off the bed before she stopped and turned toward Thea. Before the brunette could say anything, Felicity crashed into her with a hug. Thea just held on tight for a minute before letting the blond go. 

 

Ten minutes later, Felicity felt worlds better. The shower had washed off the sweat and lingering fog leftover from the nightmare. When she came out of the bathroom, she saw Thea sitting in the living room with Iris and Barry. The three of them were surrounded by coffee cups and more pastries than they could ever hope to eat. 

She sat down on the couch. Iris handed her a coffee and a large chocolate croissant. She smiled her thanks and listened to the conversation around her as the caffeine did its job. Suddenly Felicity remembered what she had forgotten earlier.

“Thea,” she said, interrupting Barry’s story from his flight home. “What are you doing here so early?”

Iris and Thea exchanged a quick glance and Felicity’s heart began to beat faster. Something was wrong.

“Nothing bad,” Thea assured her as she reached for phone. “I just wanted to show you this before anyone else.” 

She handed her the phone and Felicity felt her heart stop. On the screen was a blurry picture of her and Oliver from Lyla’s last night. It was obviously taken from across the room with someone’s cell phone, but it was clearly her and him. They were both smiling and looking directly at each other. Felicity remembered the moment clearly. She had made a stupid joke and Oliver had laughed. Like a real, full laugh. It had been such a great sound that she hadn’t been able to stop herself from laughing in return.

While the invasion of privacy of the picture made her uncomfortable, it was the headline that made her cringe. “Is Starling’s Most Eligible Bachelor Off The Market?” it screamed. A quick blurb underneath went on to state how the two had been seen out the night before and they only seemed to have eyes for each other. One ‘witness’ even stated that Mr. Queen seemed ‘completely smitten’. 

Felicity felt her eyes well up with tears. Silently, she handed to phone back to Thea and left the room. She could hear everyone calling her, but she ignored them all as she made her way back to her room. Grabbing her laptop from her desk, Felicity sat on the edge of the bed and pulled up the website Thea had just showed her. 

“Felicity,” Thea hesitated in her doorway. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought the picture was adorable and you would want to see it.”

Felicity didn’t answer. Thea wasn’t even sure she had heard her. When her friend got into the zone on her computer she tended to zone everything else out. 

Normally, Thea wouldn’t interrupt her, but something seemed off this time. Thea approached the bed where Felicity was sitting. Though she was not a computer expert, even Thea could tell that she was trying to hack into the website that posted the picture. No, this was not good.

“Felicity.” Thea said gently. Nothing. Getting frustrated, Thea reached over and closed the laptop. Felicity barely managed to pull her fingers out in time. 

“What are you doing? I was almost in!” she shouted at Thea, outraged.

“And then what? Take off the picture? Shut down the site?”

“Yes!”

“What about all the other sites that have picked it up? Are you going to hack all of them? What about anyone who has tweeted it? Are you going to shut them down too?”

“Yes!” Felicity yelled. “I have to get rid of it before he sees it.”

“Before who see it?” Thea asked, genuinely confused.

“Oliver,” she said, flatly. She realized in that moment that she was overreacting. It was just a stupid picture.

“Oliver? Why do you need to make sure Oliver doesn’t see it?” Thea questioned. “Are you afraid he’s going to be upset? Because there’s been a lot worse things said about him in the media than this, trust me.”

When Felicity didn’t say anything, Thea grabbed her hands.

“Listen, I know the nightmare has you all weirded out this morning, but I need you to talk to me. Why don’t you tell me how you and my brother ended up together last night? I thought you were going out with Eddie for dinner.”

Felicity sighed and started talking. She told Thea all about the night before, her date with Eddie being cut short (again), running into Tommy, Laurel and Oliver. Taking Oliver to Lyla’s for dessert. She told about how they laughed and talked all night. 

“Then he took me home,” Felicity ended abruptly. 

“That’s it?” Thea asked incredulously. “It sounds like you were having a great time. He didn’t kiss you? And please, no details, this is my brother we are talking about.”

“Nope,” Felicity replied. She stood quickly and walked over to the dresser to pick her coffee that Thea had brought in with her.

Thea narrowed her eyes at her friend. “You’re not telling me something.” She watched as the blond took a long sip of her coffee before she sighed.

“Fine. I thought it was going well. I thought he liked me, but obviously I was wrong.” Felicity stated matter-of-factly. 

“What do you mean?”

“He walked me to my door and left. No kiss. No ‘I had a great time, let’s do it again.’ No, ‘I’ll call you.’ Nothing. He just turned and walked away. And I know it wasn’t technically a date. We ran into each other and ended up hanging out, but I thought there was something there. Some sort of a connection, but he obviously didn’t feel the same.” Completely spent from her ramble, she fell onto the bed next to Thea, miraculously holding onto her coffee. 

Thea sighed. This was all her fault. 

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. Felicity’s eyes shot to her. “This is all my fault.”

“What? How is this your fault?”

“You’re my best friend; you know that, right?” 

“Yes,” Felicity responded, slowly. “Thea, what did you do?”

Thea took a deep breath.

“You know that day that you met Oliver at story time? Well, I didn’t really have a meeting. I wanted you and him to meet.”

“Why?” Felicity asked.

“Because I think you’re perfect for each other.” Thea stated, simply. 

“In what world would I be perfect for Oliver Queen?”

“The world in which you are smart, funny, kind and beautiful. And he needs someone to help him remember how to smile. Which, judging by that picture of the two of you, you are very good at doing.” 

“Obviously, he doesn’t think so,” Felicity said, running her fingers through her hair. “I can’t believe you did this to me! Did you arrange for Eddie to reject me too? Cause that made the night perfect!” 

Thea was taken aback by Felicity’s sarcasm. She had never heard her like that before.

“No! I don’t know what happened with Eddie, I swear. Yes, I arranged it so that you and Oliver would meet. And, yes, Tommy texted me last night when you were at  
dinner and I may have suggested that he and Laurel make themselves scarce so you two could spend some time together, but I would never make Eddie leave you there. I promise.”

Felicity began pacing the room. She knew Thea’s heart was in the right place, but she hated feeling like she’d been manipulated. She had had more than enough of that in her life. After several minutes of pacing, Felicity stopped and took a deep breath. She turned and looked at Thea.

“Ok, look,” she told the younger woman. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. But Thea, I wish you would have talked to me first.”

“If I had said anything to you about setting you up my brother, you would have shot me down!” Thea pointed out. 

“With good reason,” Felicity responded. “The names Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak do not belong in the same sentence together. It’s….unthinkable,” she finished, voiced laced with finality and a hint of sadness.

Thea rolled her eyes before grabbing Felicity’s hand as she paced by her. With a gentle tug, she pulled her best friend onto the bed with her and looked her straight in the eye.

“I’m going to ignore the ridiculousness of what you just said, for now.” She held up a hand to stop Felicity when she would have interrupted. “You keep talking about Ollie and him not feeling anything for you, but you haven’t said a word about what you feel.”

“It doesn’t matter what I feel.”

“It does to me,” Thea informed her gently.

“I stopped breathing when I met him. Everything in me screamed ‘this one’ and it’s only gotten stronger every time I see him,” Felicity blurted out, surprising herself. “But Thea, I meant it. It doesn’t matter what I feel. Oliver clearly doesn’t feel the same.”

“That picture tells a different story,” Thea reminded her smugly.

“That picture is a lie,” Felicity told her. “It was a fluke. Trust me, I got the rejection message loud and clear. And so should you.”

Thea opened her mouth to argue when her phone her phone beeped. It was Roy reminding her that he had to get to work soon.

“Crap, I have to go.” Felicity breathed a sigh of relief when Thea stood to leave. “Don’t think we’re done with this conversation, though.” Dammit.

The women walked to the front door together, Thea saying goodbye to Iris and Barry on her way out. 

“Do you want to go to the park with Grace and me this afternoon?” Thea asked once they reached the door.

Felicity smiled as she shook her head. “As much as I’d love to see her, I don’t think I’m up for that today. Besides, I’ve got some work I need to catch up on.”

“Ok, well I know you’re busy this week, but text me if you need anything. I’ll see you Saturday, right?” 

“Do you think I would dare miss the great Thea Queen’s birthday party?” Felicity teased. Thea grinned and pulled her in for a tight hug.

“Call Dr. Snow, ok?” Thea whispered in her ear. Felicity nodded. 

“I will.”

“And Felicity?” Thea said as she walked out the door. “Don’t write Ollie off yet. I think he needs you as much as you need him.”

She leaned against the closed door after Thea left. She was already exhausted and she’d only been up for an hour. She desperately needed more coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to finish this during Camp NaNoWriMo so I can get it to you guys sooner rather than later. Thank you for sticking with me. Come chat at me on tumblr at lynslogic!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still there? If you still are, thank you so much for sticking this out with me. I'm so sorry for the long wait between updates. I lost my inspiration for a while and some negative comments kind of threw me off for a while. But, I have a long chapter for you to help make up for it! I hope you guys like it! Please let me know what you think on here or find me at lynlogic on Tumblr.  
> Thank you Tina for looking this over for me!

Felicity followed through with her promise and made an appointment to see Dr. Snow about her nightmare. The therapist had been instrumental in helping her recover from her experience with Jace and though she didn’t see her regularly anymore, she was always available when Felicity needed her.

After her session, Felicity felt a lot better, if not a little embarrassed. She had definitely overreacted as far as Oliver was concerned. Obviously he wasn’t interested and that was fine. He didn’t owe her anything. Just because he was the first man since Jace to give her butterflies, did not mean that he was obligated to feel the same way about her.

Before she knew it, it was Friday evening. Her week had been crazy. Between classes, the bookstore and her other projects, she’d barely had time to sleep or eat. Tonight, however, was just for fun. Thea Queen threw the best parties and Felicity was looking forward to blowing off some steam and enjoying herself.

It wasn’t until she was applying her red lipstick, that she realized that Oliver would probably be there tonight. Of course, he would. It was his sister’s birthday party. Felicity shook her head, it didn’t matter. In fact, this was good. Here was her chance to get over her little crush and work on becoming friends with him. They had so many mutual friends and acquaintances that they would inevitably run into each other again and again. Best to get on a good footing now.

“Damn,” came Iris’ voice from the doorway. “You look hot!”

Felicity smiled as she straightened away from the mirror.

“I do, don’t I?” she agreed. Iris laughed. “Not as hot as you, though,” Felicity said giving her little sister the once-over. Iris was dressed in a [simple orange dress](http://www.polyvore.com/iris_at_theas_party/set?id=170802319) that clung to her like a second skin. “Barry is going to swallow his tongue.”

Iris laughed as she hooked her arm through Felicity’s.

“Let’s go out together and see if he starts to drool!”

There was definitely some drool from Barry when he saw Iris. Felicity laughed at him when he finally noticed her after several minutes. She was happy to have him back.

 

Verdant was closed for the night, but there was still a crowd lingering outside hoping to find a way in. The music poured out into the street and Felicity could tell that Thea had spared no expense in celebrating her birthday. She shook her head in fondness.

After giving their names at the front door, they were greeted inside by a server with a tray of champagne glasses filled with a green liquid. Felicity sniffed hers experimentally. It smelled sweet. She looked up to see Barry and Iris doing the same. With a shrug, the trio all took a drink. It was sweet and bubbly with just a hint of tartness.

“What do you guys think of my drink?”

Felicity turned to see Thea standing behind her, looking gorgeous as ever. She was dressed in a crop top and knee-length skirt, both in hot pink.

“I think your drink suits you perfectly,” Felicity told her as she reached out for a hug. “Happy Birthday!”

Iris and Barry both hugged Thea and wished her a happy birthday as well.

“This place looks amazing!” Iris shouted over the music to Thea. Looking around, Felicity agreed. Thea had kept the green décor the place was famous for, but she had added silver and black decorations everywhere. It gave the place an almost unearthly feel to it.

“Well,” Thea said to the group. “You only turn 25 once. Might as well do it right!” She stopped a passing server and handed fresh drinks to her friends.

Felicity raised her glass in a toast. When the others followed suit she said, “To Thea!”

“To me!” Thea agreed with a laugh.  
*************************************************************************************  
Oliver winced when he opened the back door to Verdant and music assaulted his ears. He couldn’t believe there had been a time when places like this were his second home. Days like today, hell, weeks like this one, made him feel so much older than his thirty years. Those days of clubs, booze, and women seemed like another lifetime. He walked through the back hallways and came out beside the bar. He paused for a minute to take in his sister’s club. He was so proud of her and what she has accomplished. Verdant was consistently the top club in the city. He knew how hard she worked to make it that way.

Making his way to the stairs that led to the VIP area, Oliver ignored the looks from the women on the dance floor. At one point he would have been out there in a flash, grinding on some woman in an attempt to get her to go home with him. Now, the thought of it turned his stomach. There’s only been one woman to tempt him in a long time. One woman that he’s determined to stay away from.

Tommy waved at him as soon as he reached the VIP area. Oliver felt a rush of gratitude that the two of them were working their way back to being friends again. That feeling increased when he saw that Tommy had a glass of scotch waiting for him.

“You are my hero, Merlyn,” Oliver told his friend. He grabbed the tumbler and downed in one gulp.

Tommy’s eyes widened. It had been a while since he’d seen his friend so worked up. Tommy caught the eye of the VIP server and motioned for more scotch. When she brought it over, Tommy told her to just leave the bottle.

Oliver downed another glass of scotch and sat back to let the alcohol do its job. After a moment he could feel the tension in his limbs releasing. With a sigh, he turned to Tommy who had been silent the whole time.

“You ok, man?” Tommy finally asked when he saw Oliver relax a little.

“Sorry. It’s just been a long week.” Oliver replied.

“You want to talk about it?” Tommy offered.

“I’m good for now. I just want to forget about work and …stuff,” Oliver answered.

Tommy looked at his friend for a minute and Oliver fought the urge to squirm. Tommy could be relentless when he thought Oliver was holding back on him. He hoped his friend would let it go for now.

The decision was made for both of them when Laurel dropped into Tommy’s lap, unexpectedly. Oliver watched as Laurel whispered something into her husband’s ear that made Tommy’s eyebrows shoot up. Oliver bit his cheek to stop from laughing when Tommy turned bright red.

That’s when Laurel started nibbling on Tommy’s ear and Oliver couldn’t help himself.

Laurel turned toward him, eyes slightly glassy.

“Hi Ollie!” Laurel said to him. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Hi Laurel,” Oliver replied with a laugh. ”I could tell. What are you drinking?”

Laurel looked down at the glass in her hand and shrugged.

“I’m not sure. It’s Thea’s signature drink for the night. Do you want to try it?” she asked, offering the glass to him.

Oliver shook his head.

“No, thanks. I think I’ll just stick with scotch. Do you know where Thea is, though?”

“She said she was going downstairs to mingle.”

Oliver stood and went to the railing that overlooked the dance floor. The mass of bodies moving to the beat made it hard to pick out any one person.

“Over there,” he heard Tommy say from his left. “See? Dancing with Iris and Felicity.”

Oliver’s gut tightened at the mention of her name. Of course she’d be here. She was Thea’s friend, her best friend it seemed.

He looked in the direction that Tommy’s hand was pointing and felt his jaw open when he spotted her. The white of her [dress ](http://www.polyvore.com/theas_birthday/set?id=164942928)stood out like a spotlight among the dark suits and dresses surrounding her. Her blonde hair was up off her neck and Oliver gasped when she turned around and he caught a glimpse of her bare back. His pants tightened in response. Her skirt flared over her fantastic ass and sat high atop her thighs. On her feet were the sexiest pair of red heels he'd ever seen.

Oliver gripped the railing when hands suddenly grabbed her hips from behind on the dance floor. His grip loosened a second later after he realized those hands belonged to John Diggle. Oliver couldn’t stop watching as she hugged the other man enthusiastically then moved to hug Lyla as well.  
Laurel must have abandoned Tommy up here with him, because she was suddenly joining the group with laughter and hugs just as Emily and Sara arrived. After all the greetings were finished, Oliver saw Laurel pointing towards him and Tommy on the balcony. The group turned and started waving at them. Oliver was vaguely aware of his sister beckoning him to come down. His eyes were locked with Felicity’s and he couldn’t look away. Her lips were painted red and her eyes were sparkling. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“You coming man?”

Oliver shook his head and turned towards Tommy.

“What?”

“You coming down with me?”

Oliver shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

“No, I’ll just stay up here.”

Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Why?” he asked.

“Why what?” Oliver asked back, stalling.

“Why stay up here?” Tommy repeated. “Oliver, look down there. Just about everyone you know and love is on that dance floor. What are you doing up here?”

Tommy slapped him on the back and headed down the stairs.

He was right. What was he doing up here? He should be down there with his friends, his sister. He threw back another glass of scotch and watched Tommy get greeted by the group with hugs and smiles. He wanted that too.

 

Felicity was having a great time. Three of Thea’s special drinks had loosened her body and sent her brain to a slightly floaty placed that she was currently loving. There were hundreds of people at the club that night, but she was focused on the group in front of her. How did she get so lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people? For so long it had been just been her and her mom. Her mom may be gone, but now she had a huge, wonderful family. God, she was sappy tonight!

A prickle of awareness shot down her spine. She didn’t even have to look up to know that Oliver was nearby. No one else caused that sort of a reaction in her. When she’d seen him on the balcony, her heart had stopped briefly before pounding wildly. Did he have to be so gorgeous? It just wasn’t fair the way he looked in that gray suit. Shake it off, Felicity. He’s just a man, she told herself.

Iris caught Felicity’s eye as Oliver approached the group. Noting her concerned look, Felicity shot her sister a reassuring smile. Oliver made the rounds greeting everyone, including Roy who had shown up with another round of drinks. Only Barry and Oliver declined the drinks, Barry not drinking anymore due to being Felicity and Iris’ ride home. Oliver opted to stay with his tumbler of scotch.

“Happy birthday, Speedy,” Felicity heard him say to his sister. Thea smacked him on the arm at the nickname, but Felicity could tell it was more for show than true annoyance.

Oliver reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, slim box and handed it to Thea. Thea’s eyes widened excitedly as she opened her present. Felicity’s breath caught when she saw the delicate chain that Thea pulled out. She could see a small locket attached to the end of the chain. Both were platinum and the front of the locket had what looked like Grace’s birthstone embedded into it.

Thea gasped when she opened the locket and lifted tear filled eyes to her big brother. Felicity peered around Thea’s shoulder and saw the  
inside of the locket contained two pictures. One was an adorable shot of Grace laughing and the other was a picture of Thea and Roy wrapped around each other.

“How did you get this?” Thea asked Oliver.

“Roy,” he answered simply.

Looking a little closer, Felicity realized that the second picture was from Thea and Roy’s wedding. They had eloped as soon as they’d found out she was pregnant. While Thea didn’t regret not having a big wedding, she had expressed regret at not having any pictures of the day.

Thea turned to her husband for explanation.

“About three months ago, I got a call from the judge that did the ceremony,” Roy started to explain, sliding his arm around his wife’s waist. “She told me that one of the clerks in the office had discovered that he had this picture on his phone. He had forgotten about it until he was transferring some files off his phone. He emailed it to me.” Roy placed a kiss on Thea’s head.

“When I asked Roy what pictures I should use for the locket,” Oliver told her, “he suggested these.”

Thea stepped out of Roy’s grasp and wrapped her arms around her brother’s neck.

“Thank you, Ollie,” she whispered into his neck.

Oliver hugged his sister tight.

“Love you, Speedy.”

Felicity blinked back the tears threatening to well up in her eyes. They were so sweet together. When Thea and Oliver broke apart, everyone else gathered around to get a closer look at the necklace. Felicity took a step back to make more room. It seemed like Oliver had the same idea and she found herself standing next to him.

“Hello Felicity.” Oliver leaned into her. Holy crap, he smelled good. Felicity swayed a little, losing herself in his scent and the sound of his voice in her ear. Her eyes shot open when his hands grasped her waist.

“You ok?” he asked concerned. “You looked like you were going to fall over.”

“Hello Oliver,” she replied with a small smile, the alcohol removing any embarrassment she might have felt at almost swooning in front of him. “I’m fine. Maybe one too many of Thea’s special drinks.”

Oliver smiled at her, but didn’t move his hands. In fact, he squeezed his fingers on her hips a little and pulled her to him, just a little.

Suddenly, no one else existed. Not their friends and family talking nearby or the hundreds of other party guests in the club. The world had shrunk down to just his blue eyes staring into hers, the warmth of his hands on her hips and the pounding of her heart.

“Dance with me?” he asked, his voice low.

“It kind of feels like we already are,” Felicity answered, hips swaying to the beat of the music which had slowed down considerably.

Oliver slid his hands to the small of her bare back and she barely held back a gasp at the heat from his hands on her skins. Her own hands moved of their own accord up to his impossibly broad shoulders. Their eyes never left each other’s, bodies slipping together until there was nothing between them. Her breath caught at the feeling of his hard frame pressed against almost every inch of hers.

He knew he should let go. He should apologize and walk away. He had decided to leave her alone. She deserved so much more than a damaged idiot like himself. She deserved someone…whole. Not someone whose soul had been ripped into shreds.

None of that mattered at this moment, though. At this moment, he was holding her in his arms, her body moving with his, her teeth biting on her red, painted bottom lip. Her blue eyes were staring into his and he felt….complete. When he ran his fingers up her spine and her body responded with a shiver and small goosebumps he was done. No force on earth could have pulled him away. He did it again and reveled in the way her eyes widened and her mouth fell open in a small gasp. He could get addicted to that sound coming from her mouth.

Felicity could hardly breathe. Oliver kept pulling her in tighter, little by little. She definitely wasn’t imagining the desire in his eyes, was she? When his fingertips skimmed up her spine again, she couldn’t help the gasp that came out of her mouth. His eyes darkened and she knew she wasn’t imagining it either. He felt it too. This electricity that seemed to generate every time they touched. Everywhere that they touched. The rest of her body was straining towards him, trying to feel more of him.

The music around them had changed again, something more upbeat, but they never changed their rhythm. They continued to sway together, slowly, in the middle of the crowded dance floor.

Felicity’s hands slid from his shoulders to the back of his neck and began to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. He closed his eyes involuntarily at the sensation. When her nails scraped across his scalp, a groan rumbled through his chest and his eyes flew open. Her eyes darkened, tongue slipping out of her mouth to wet her lips. Slowly, so slowly, he lowered his mouth to hers, keeping his eyes locked on hers the whole time. When he was a hair’s breadth away he paused and closed his eyes. Less than a second later she pressed her lush mouth to his. Heat shot through him at the contact. He wanted, needed more. He moved his lips against hers, keeping it chaste, wondering how in the hell a simple kiss could feel better than anything he’d ever felt before.

He pulled back just enough to look at her. Her eyes were still closed and her mouth was slightly open and Oliver thought he’d never seen anyone so beautiful in his life. Her eyes slid open slowly and he saw shock and desire swirling in the blue. He couldn’t help himself, he leaned to kiss her again…

“Attention everyone!” A loud voice came through the speakers, finally penetrating their little bubble.

Felicity tensed in his arms and a blush crept up her cheeks. He wanted to lean down and tell her not to be embarrassed. That he was just as affected as she was, but the DJ was still talking. Instead, he let go of her waist, choosing to grab her hand and turn them both towards the person speaking.

Felicity was dumbfounded. She had just kissed Oliver Queen. In the middle of a dance floor with hundreds of people around her. Now she was holding his hand and watching as a huge black, white and pink birthday cake was being wheeled out. The crowd began to sing Happy Birthday to Thea, but Felicity found herself unable to join in. She needed air.

Oliver was watching Thea blow out her birthday candles when he felt Felicity try to let go of his hand. He tightened his grip and looked down at her, not wanting to let her go. She smiled up at him.

“Bathroom,” she told him over the sound of everyone clapping and cheering for Thea.

He squeezed her hand briefly before letting go. Tearing his eyes away from her retreating back, and incredible ass, Oliver headed towards the bar. He needed another scotch and a minute to process what had just happened. Just thinking about that kiss had him smiling. Maybe he could do this. Just being around her made him feel lighter than he thought he would ever feel again.

“Hello, Oliver,” a voice behind him purred, and just like that the heaviness was back.

“Helena. What are you doing here?” he asked turning to face the stunning brunette in front of him. She looked beautiful as always, but it was a sharp kind of beauty. He leaned down to kiss her upturned cheek and caught the scent of her expensive perfume. It overpowered the lingering scent of lemon and lavender that had lingered from Felicity. He found himself resentful of this fact.

“Well, I was doing a tour of the gym that Thea’s husband owns, when I mentioned to him that we were all friends. He just insisted on adding my name to the guest list for tonight.” Helena told him, her voice slightly mocking, as if the whole thing were beneath her. Oliver knew better.

When Oliver had returned from Hong Kong, he was introduced to Helena at an incredibly boring cocktail party. He thought he had found a kindred spirit. Someone who had been raised the same way he had, who had been betrayed by those whom she had trusted, just like him. Someone who felt broken, but was trying to be better. He was only half right. While Helena had indeed been betrayed and broken, she had chosen to embrace the brokenness inside her. She floated from one society man to the next. Oliver was ashamed to admit how often he had used her body to forget about his own problems. Even after realizing she would never change, he found himself returning again and again. Just to forget.

After a few months, Oliver had broken things off. It had been a toxic relationship and he had grown tired of it. Helena, however, was not used to being the one left behind and did not take it well. She had been trying to get him back ever since. She must have heard about the party and seen it as a way to get to Oliver.

“I saw the little blonde you were dancing with a few minutes ago. New plaything?” Helena asked, her hand slithering up his arm to caress his bicep. He barely resisted the urge to snap at her for talking like that about Felicity.

“She’s a friend,” Oliver gritted out through clenched teeth.

Helena sidled closer to his side.

“A friend, really? That's sweet. I have to say, Oliver. She looked a little…wholesome for you. Don’t you think?” Helena asked, her other hand dropping to his abdomen.

Oliver realized she was right. All the lightness he'd felt after holding Felicity and kissing her disappeared. the weight of his past came back with a brutal force. Felicity was too good for him. He was wounded with scars that might never heal. He had no business dancing with her, kissing her. Even now, when he could still taste her in his mouth, a mix of melon-flavored liquor and something else that must be uniquely Felicity, he knew it couldn’t happen again.

 

Felicity leaned over the sink in the ladies’ room and took a deep breath. What the hell had just happened? One kiss, a simple, chaste kiss at that, and she was destroyed. She looked up at the mirror. She hardly recognized the woman staring back at her with her flushed cheeks and mussed lipstick and dazed eyes. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip trying to see if she could still taste him.

Could she do this? Ever since Jace, there had been no one. She told herself that she was too busy, that she didn’t have time to worry about a relationship or even dating. The truth was, she was terrified. She thought she had found something real with Jace. Something that could last and grow. She had never been more wrong.

Now, here’s Oliver Queen. Who had made her feel more, with one gentle kiss, than months’ worth of kisses, and more, with Jace. It was obvious now that it wasn’t one-sided. He felt something too. A pull towards her, the same pull she felt towards him. Was it just attraction on his part? Did he feel, like she did, that this could be everything?

Abruptly, she straightened her shoulders and stood up. There was only one way to find out. Time to talk to Oliver. She turned to leave the restroom, noticing for the first time that she wasn’t alone. There were women coming and going everywhere. How did she not notice before?

Wow, she was more out of it than she thought.

Making her way back to the dance floor, Felicity looked around trying to find Oliver. She saw Barry, Iris, Thea and Roy all dancing. Iris caught her eye and waved her over, but she shook her head. She wasn’t ready to talk to her sister, or anyone besides Oliver, yet. She turned and saw Laurel sitting at the bar talking animatedly with Sara. Felicity picked her way through the crowd, intent on asking Laurel if she had seen Oliver.

“Hey, Felicity!”

She turned at the sound of her name and saw Tommy a few feet away.

“Hi, Tommy,” she responded.

“Are you looking for Oliver?” Tommy asked with a smirk.

“Why would you assume I was looking for him?” Felicity asked back, trying to distract him.

“I saw the kiss, that’s why.” Felicity braced herself for the teasing, but Tommy surprised her. “I think I managed to distract everyone enough  
that they didn’t notice.”

Felicity was dumbfounded. Tommy had tried to make sure no one else saw the kiss?

“Why?” she wondered. “Why would you do that?”

Tommy placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed while giving a small, but affectionate smile.

“I figured your first kiss with Oliver should be without everyone you know watching,” he answered her with a shrug.

Felicity rose up on her toes and kissed his cheek.

“You’re a good friend, Tommy,” she told him.

“Why are you kissing my husband?”

Felicity looked behind Tommy to see Laurel fake glaring at her.

“Because he’s cute and so are you,” Felicity told the brunette who laughed as Felicity kissed her cheek too.

“All right, that’s enough,” Tommy said, pretending to be disgruntled. “I think I saw Oliver head upstairs.”

“Thanks,” Felicity told him, turning towards the stairs.

She climbed the stairs quickly, determined to find Oliver and figure out what was going on. When she entered the VIP area, she was disappointed to find it empty. She glanced around a second time and noticed a hallway off the back that led to Thea’s office.

Maybe he went in there for some quiet, she thought to herself.

Turning into the darkened hallway, Felicity almost ran straight into a couple kissing against the wall.

“Oops,” she told them, slightly embarrassed. “Didn’t see you there. S….” her voice trailed off.

It was Oliver. He had pulled his head away from the woman in front of him at her voice and now his blue eyes were staring at her. She couldn’t  
read all the emotions she saw swirling there, but regret was one of them.

“Look, Oliver,” the woman he was with crooned. “It’s your plaything from before. Did you want to join us?” she asked, voice dripping with condescension.

Felicity took a step back, her stomach violently starting to protest all the green drinks she had consumed earlier. Her mind was blank, but her heart was breaking.

Without a word, Felicity turned and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to remind everyone that this is an AU and Laurel does NOT have a drinking problem in this fic.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I want to thank all of you still reading this story. I know I lost some readers after the last chapter so thank you for sticking it out. I know Oliver's actions seemed harsh in the last chapter, but I can assure I have a plan. Mostly :) Thank you to everyone who commented. I'm sorry I stopped replying to them all. I couldn't handle seeing the negative comments, so to all those who did send me positive comments, I saw them and I love you all!!  
> This chapter was hard for me, both because of the negativity I received after the last chapter and because it's a pivotal chapter. I've edited so much I'm going cross-eyed! Felicity is not in this one, but she'll be in the next one, I promise.  
> I hope you like it!

Oliver rubbed his hands over his eyes. He had read the financial report in front of him at least three times and hadn’t retained any of it. He couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything lately. It had been over a week since Thea’s birthday party and he wasn’t sure he had slept at all in that time. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was the devastation in Felicity’s eyes.

He hadn’t planned it, kissing Helena. He certainly hadn’t planned on Felicity finding them. It had been an impulse. A very stupid impulse brought on by alcohol and Helena’s uncanny ability to know exactly which buttons to press. Seeing her had reminded him that he didn’t deserve someone like Felicity. Someone bright and happy, who’s smile came easily and laugh lit up the room. Someone who wasn’t frayed at the edges, coming apart at the seams, barely grasping at a tenuous hold on the threads of life. Someone unbroken. Because that’s what he was…..broken.

After she had walked away, Oliver had managed to disengage himself from Helena, the taste of her making him sick, and made his way back out to the party. He had braced himself for a third degree from Tommy or being yelled at by Thea. It hadn’t happened. While he hadn’t seen Felicity the rest of the night, no one seemed to think it was weird. That’s when Oliver realized that she hadn’t told anyone what had happened. He had spent the last week on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It never did.

Everything seemed to be completely normal and it was driving him crazy. Why hadn’t she told anyone? He had acted like a complete idiot and asshole. He should be getting yelled at by his friends and the silent treatment from his sister. Instead, Thea was still calling and texting him. Tommy and Laurel had consulted him on which date would work with his schedule for James’ upcoming birthday party. He had even ventured into Jitters, thinking that Iris would light into him like he deserved, but she had smiled at him and brewed him a fresh pot of coffee.

She hadn’t even told her sister. Why? The stress of waiting for the backlash, lack of sleep, and bone-deep guilt had finally come to a head last night. He had been having dinner at Roy and Thea’s home and his sister had started in on the hints about Felicity. How beautiful she had looked at her party. How they had seemed to connect again. Oliver tried to brush it off, but Thea just wouldn’t let it go.

Oliver had snapped. He had yelled at his sister to leave him alone, that he and Felicity were never going to happen and she needed to let it go. Thea had been stunned. Her brother never yelled at her. Then Grace’s face had crumpled. Seeing her beloved uncle look so mad and sound so mean to her mommy had scared her. When Oliver tried to pick up his niece and reassure her, she wouldn’t go to him. She clung to her dad’s neck and wouldn’t even look at him, Roy glaring at him even as he reassured his daughter.

It had taken Oliver an hour to get Grace to look at him. He had hugged her and told her he was sorry, his kisses making the baby smile and giggle. Thea assured him that she was too little to remember the incident for too long, but Oliver knew he would never forget it. Grace’s little face breaking down in sadness and fear, Thea’s look of shock and disappointment, add in Felicity’s look of hurt and he was having a banner week.

“Mr. Queen?” Emily’s voice jolted him out of his self-loathing.

“Yes, Emily?” he answered, keeping his voice neutral. He knew he had been short-tempered with her for the last week as well. Emily was too professional to let it show, however.

“Mr. Merlyn is here to see you.” Oliver peered around and saw Tommy pacing the reception area of his office. He looked upset and Oliver almost felt relieved that his reprieve was over.

“Send him in please. And Emily?” Oliver called to his assistant. “Can you please cancel the rest of my appointments for today? Then I want you to take the rest of the day off.”

Emily’s eyes widened and her mouth opened in shock. Her boss had never offered her a day off before.

“Mr. Queen?” she questioned. “Did I do something wrong?”

Oliver shook his head and smiled sadly at her.

“Never,” he told her definitively. “I know I’ve been an ass lately. Take the rest of the day off and go do something fun. I’ll try to be better tomorrow.”

Emily smiled back at him and nodded.

Oliver watched as she spoke to Tommy while grabbing her tablet and purse. It looked like she was getting out of there before he could change his mind. Probably a good idea. Oliver had an idea that his conversation with Tommy should be had without an audience.

Oliver stood when Tommy entered his office and came around his desk. He could see his friend vibrating with anger. Tommy stalked over to him and before Oliver could even say anything, Tommy punched him in the face.

The force behind the punch was stronger than Oliver would have thought, pain shooting through his jaw. That, plus the shock of it, had Oliver’s head spinning and he stumbled back a step. Oliver clenched his hands and closed his eyes to fight the instinct to fight back.

When he opened his eyes, Oliver saw Tommy standing with his fists clenched, ready to defend himself.

“I’m not going to fight you, Tommy,” Oliver told his friend with a sigh.

"Why the hell not?" Tommy asked, his shoulders falling as he forced himself to relax a little. He walked over to the couch and sat down hard, shaking his hand as he went. Who knew a jaw could be so hard?

Oliver moved his jaw from side to side, wincing a little before sitting down on the opposite side of the couch from Tommy. Neither man said anything for several long minutes, both waiting for the other to start what was sure to be a painful conversation.

“I take it Felicity talked to you,” Oliver stated, unable to take the silence any longer.

“No,” Tommy spat out bitterly. “She hasn’t said a word. In fact I haven’t seen or talked to her in over a week.”

“Then how,” Oliver started.

“Helena.”

“When did you see her?” Oliver asked, confused.

“About five minutes ago in the lobby,” Tommy explained.

“She’s here?” Oliver shot to his feet.

“Sit down,” Tommy commanded. “Security was escorting her from the building when I got here.”

Oliver sat back down, grateful not to have to deal with Helena today as well. She had been trying to get into see him for the last week.

“When she saw me, she thought I would help her get in to see you,” Tommy continued. “I refused, of course, telling her that there was no way you would want to see her since I knew you had broken things off with her months ago. That’s when she told what had happened at Thea’s birthday party.”

Oliver could hear the anger growing in her friend’s voice. He did nothing to temper it though.

“I didn’t believe her at first. Why would I? We both know that Helena is crazy. Besides I saw you with Felicity that night. I saw the two of you dancing and kissing. I’d never seen you look so happy. There’s no way you’d fuck that up, right?” Tommy asked, sarcastically.

Oliver stayed silent.

“Then I started to think about what happened after you disappeared for a while that night. How when Felicity came back, she looked sick and asked Barry to take her home. How you left shortly after that as well, your eyes hard and cold like I haven’t seen in a long time.”

Tommy stood up from the couch and started pacing the length of the office. Oliver kept his mouth shut and just watched his friend. He knew Tommy wasn’t done yet.

“Then I thought about the phone call I got from Thea yesterday. She wanted to know if I knew what was going on with you. Apparently you yelled at her and made Grace cry?” Tommy questioned, already knowing the answer.

Oliver winced at the memory of his niece looking at him like he didn’t recognize him. The fact that she was scared of him, even for a little bit, would haunt him for the rest of his life.

“Thea also told me that Felicity has been ducking her calls for a week, always texting back that she’s busy right now and she’ll call later. She never does though. She’s been doing the same thing to me,” Tommy took a breath before he continued. “So, when Helena told me that you kissed her at Verdant, but then you’d been interrupted by some little blonde, it all started to make sense.”

He stopped pacing and stood in front of Oliver, fists clenched as if he was preparing to hit him again.

“Why did you do it, man?” Tommy asked, voice low.

“She deserves so much better than me,” Oliver answered, his voice so quiet Tommy had to train to hear it.

“God! If my hand didn’t still hurt, I’d hit you again for that one,” Tommy spat out at him, his voice shaking with outrage. “Who the fuck do you think you are making that decision for her?”

“You know who I am!” Oliver shouted, jumping to his feet. “You know WHAT I am! You know what happened, what I did!”

Tommy took a step back Oliver’s outburst. Yes, he knew what happened, he’d been there too, but it had been five years. They had all found ways to deal with it. To learn how to live with the decisions that they had made and those that had been made for them. At least, he thought they had. Looking at his friend now, he wasn’t so sure.

“She’s your friend, Tommy.” Oliver continued, sitting back down on the couch. “You should tell her to stay the hell away from me.” His shoulders slumped in defeat as his hands came up to rub across his face.

Tommy just blinked at his best friend. He had never seen Oliver look so defeated. They had known each practically since birth, how could he have missed the pain Oliver was hiding from him? Tommy knew the answer to that one, he hadn't missed it. He had just been trying to ignore it. He sat down with a heavy sigh, shame warring with anger churning in his gut.

“Let’s put the Felicity issue to the side for now. We’ll come back to it,” he clarified with a firm voice when Oliver’s head shot up in surprise. When the other man’s head nodded in agreement, he continued. “There’s a bigger issue here, though. Oliver, do you blame yourself for what happened?”

“Who else is there?” Oliver snorted in derision.

“Malcolm,” Tommy responded with conviction.

Oliver’s eyes widened at him. That was the first time he had heard Tommy mention his father’s name in five years.

“Malcolm is to blame. Not you. You are just as innocent as me, as Thea,” Tommy told him.

“I’m not innocent, Tommy. How can you say that? I have blood on my hands!” Oliver exclaimed.

“So, do I Oliver,” Tommy stated calmly. “Does that mean I’m to blame as well?”

“It’s not the same and you know it.”

“Do I? I was on that boat too, Oliver. He was my father, doesn’t that mean I’m doubly to blame? Does that mean I’m not allowed to be happy? Should I walk away from Laurel and James because of the things that happened on that boat?”

Tommy’s questions brought Oliver up short. He had never thought about it from Tommy’s perspective before. He’d always seen Tommy and Thea as innocent bystanders in the whole thing.

“You know, after the whole thing was over and you went to Hong Kong and Thea went to Moscow, I was alone. For a long time I felt like you had both left because you blamed me for what my father did to us.”

“I can’t do this, Tommy!” Oliver shouted. He started pacing the length of his office. “I don’t think I can listen to the ways I failed you.”

“Let me say this, ok?” Tommy said, his voice calm and quiet. “Thea and I have had it out with each other, but you and I never did. When you came back, I was just so happy to see you. Happy that Thea and Grace would have you in their lives that I decided to let it go, but Oliver, you abandoned me,”

There was no accusation in his voice. Just a clear statement that cut straight to Oliver’s gut. He felt like he’d been punched again. All his strength left him and he collapsed onto the couch again.

“I didn’t know what to do,” Tommy continued. “My father was dead, but no one knew the real reason. You and Thea were both gone and I felt so damn alone. I started looking for ways to drown out the pain. Women, drugs, booze, all the things you and I had done as kids, but this was different. It wasn’t just a way to stick it to our parents. This was desperation. I was crying out for help, but I didn’t think anyone was listening. I was wrong.”

Tommy gave him a little smile and Oliver marveled at his friend’s ability to be positive about something so painful.

“Laurel showed up one day about six months into my spiral. I had apparently drunk dialed her the night before and rambled on about how sorry I was about being such a loser. How I missed her and how I was all alone and I should just end it all.”

Oliver sucked in a breath at Tommy’s confession.

“Wait,” Oliver interrupted. “You and Laurel weren’t together?” He was really confused. Laurel and Tommy had fallen in love in high school and had been inseparable since. Oliver had just assumed they’d been together the whole time he’d been gone. It was one of the ways he’d rationalized leaving Starling City and Tommy.  
Tommy shook his head.

“I broke up with her after the whole thing. I was so angry and hurt and I kept lashing out at her. Finally I just told her that I didn’t love her and never wanted to see her again. The look she gave me man, I’ll never forget it. She knew I was full of shit, that there was more to it than simple grief over my father. She told me that she would always love me, kissed my cheek and walked out the door.”

Tommy’s eyes were filled with regret over lost time and Oliver wanted nothing more than to go back in time and prevent the…everything. So many people had gotten hurt, had their lives ruined.

“Anyway,” Tommy continued. “It was about two months after I had broken things off that I called her. I don’t remember doing it, but it was the best decision drunk me could have ever made. Laurel poured coffee down my throat and shoved me in a shower. Then she dumped all my alcohol out and flushed all the drugs. I didn’t even try to fight her on it, it wouldn’t have mattered if I had though,” Tommy laughed a little at that and Oliver silently agreed. Laurel was a force of nature when she set her mind to something.

“She told me I had a choice. Either I agreed to start seeing a counselor and attending a support group she knew about or she was driving me to a rehab upstate. She didn’t know what had happened, she just saw that I was in pain and needed help.” Tommy smiled, remembering how beautiful his wife had looked in her determination to save him from himself.

“Which one did you choose?” Oliver asked, ashamed that he didn’t know the answer.

“I choose the therapist. I thought I would be able to bullshit my way through some touchy-feely sessions, just enough to get Laurel off my back. It didn’t work out that way, though.”

“Why not?”

“Dr. Snow saw right through me. She told me that if I was just there to get Laurel off my back then I should just turn around and walk back out. She wasn’t going to waste her time with someone who didn’t want help, but if I was willing to put in the work, then she thought she could help me.”

Tommy stood and started pacing again. Oliver could tell talking about all of this was hard for him. He wanted to tell him to stop. That he was too far gone to be saved, but he was pretty sure that would piss Tommy off even more and he really didn’t feel like getting punched again.

“Talking with Dr. Snow helped, a lot. She helped me put things into perspective. It was the support group that really helped, though. It’s a trauma support group and seeing all the people there, hearing their experiences, made me realize I wasn’t as alone as I felt. Everyone there has been through something horrific. Sometimes they talk about it, sometimes they don’t, but it doesn’t matter. The trauma is not the point. It’s more about discussing what happens now, how to cope with the aftermath.”

Oliver was stunned. He simply could not picture Tommy in a group circle talking about his feelings.

“I know what you’re thinking, Oliver,” his friend said when he saw his face. “You’re thinking about me sitting in a circle, holding hands and sharing my deepest secrets. It’s not like that, though.”

“What’s it like then,” Oliver asked disbelievingly.

“You’ll see when you come with me.”

Oliver shot to his feet.

“What? No! I don’t need a therapist and I’m certainly not going to sit in a touchy-feely group and talk about my feelings!” he protested.

Tommy stepped forward until he was in Oliver’s face. Oliver glared down at him, angry at his friend for confronting him, for making him feel things he’s been trying to repress for years.

“I’ve kept my mouth shut for six months, Oliver,” Tommy told him, his voice low but determined. “When you came home, I thought you were okay. I figured you must have talked to someone in Hong Kong because you seemed so together, completely over everything. I sat back and said nothing when you started sleeping with Helena even though I could see she was toxic for you. I told myself that she was just a rebound, a way for you to get back into the swing of things here again. It took a while for me to see that it was a mask. You’ve been hiding behind a façade of what you think we all want you to be, but man, that façade is cracking. And underneath is a man so consumed by anger and guilt that he is pushing away anyone who dares to get close.”

Oliver stood still, staring at Tommy. He was used to intimidating people with his size, but Tommy wasn’t giving him an inch. . Oliver wanted to deny everything the other man had just said, tell him that he was wrong and he was fine.

Then he remembered Grace’s crying face, eyes full of fear of him. He saw the hurt in Thea’s eyes when he’d yelled at her and the anger on Roy’s face while holding his crying daughter.

He remembered the hurt on Felicity’s face and all the fight drained out of him as quickly as it had risen, replaced by an almost overwhelming sense of loss. The loss of something that could have been amazing.

Tommy was right he was going to lose everything. He had worked hard over the last five years to get here. Back in Starling City, but it was harder to be here than he had anticipated. Looking back he could see the way any progress he’d made in Hong Kong had begun to erode away. How just being here in this town with all of its memories made him feel like he couldn’t catch his breath, like he was suffocating. Memories assaulted him around every corner and his anger clouded his vision, making him want to lash out at anyone in his path. He’d thought that his sparring with Roy and Diggle would help, but the rage was like a black hole in his gut, getting larger every day.

It was pulling at him in ways he wasn’t prepared for and if he didn’t do something he was going to lose everyone; the look of pure joy and adoration in his niece’s face along with Thea’s unwavering love and trust in him. The bond he had created with Roy, one built out of mutual love of Thea and Grace that had grown into a true friendship.

His rediscovered connection with Tommy had been a driving force in his return to Starling and now the pain in his jaw reminded him how close he was to losing his best friend. Again.

Felicity. Her name appeared in his mind without thought. The feelings he had when he was with her were unlike anything he’d ever felt before. She made him feel….free. Like he could breathe and just be Oliver. His heart clenched at the memory of her lips on his, the feeling of loss overwhelming. He knew he had broken that  
connection before it could even really begin.

With a sense of clarity, Oliver looked at Tommy, his friend waiting patiently for him to speak.

“Tell me about Dr. Snow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank Zee, my beta for holding my hand all through this chapter. She encouraged me so much and didn't let me quit. You are the best! She's octoberobserver on tumblr.  
> P.S. I'm lynslogic on tumblr. Come say hi!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Is anyone still there? I bet you thought I'd forgotten about this one, but I didn't! This chapter was hard for me to get through because it is crucial for moving forward. Notice the ratings change for violence. It's un-beta'd, though I did consult a professional about some of the PTSD things. Anyway, I hope you like it. Reviews are everything, but please remember to be kind! Thanks.

“Tell me, Mr. Queen,” began Dr. Snow. “What brings you to see me?”

“Call me Oliver, please,” he told her, fidgeting in his chair. He couldn’t look her in the eye, focusing instead on the framed diplomas behind her head.

She nodded and made a quick note in her notebook. She looked back up at him waited silently.

“I think you know why I’m here,” he finally said, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together.

“I can make some guesses, but I would rather hear it from you,” she responded with quiet patience.

“I’m here because five years ago I killed my best friend and sister’s father and I apparently need to talk about it,” Oliver replied, coldly. 

That particular tone of voice usually made people back off quickly, but Dr. Snow showed no reaction. He watched her carefully for shock or disgust at his admission, but she remained impressively blank faced. She scribbled some notes before meeting his eyes, her gaze one of infinite patience. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked when he didn’t speak.

Oliver laughed humorlessly.

“Hell no. I want to forget it ever happened,” he answered honestly, his hands coming up to scrub through his hair. 

“Then why are you here, Oliver?”

“Because I’m afraid of losing everyone I love or could love if I don’t.”

The words tumbled out of him before he could stop them, shocking him with how raw they felt. 

Dr. Snow smiled and gave him a small smile. “Tell me what happened, Oliver.”  
*************************************************************************************  
Five years earlier:

Oliver’s head felt like it was in a vice. The squeezing pressure telling him that he and Tommy had gotten out of hand last night. Again. 

Slowly he opened his eyes only to slam them shut again. Why was it so bright in his room? Raisa always closed the blinds for him when she made his bed, but now the sun was streaming in uninhibited. The cheerful brightness was hurting his eyes even while they were closed. 

Groaning in pain, Oliver opened his eyes again and immediately became disoriented. This wasn’t his room; at least not his room in the Manor. It looked like his room on the Queen’s Gambit. What was he doing on his family’s boat?

Sitting up and swinging his feet over the edge of the bed, Oliver dropped his head into his hands trying to remember what happened. Between the rocking of the boat, which he just noticed, and the pain in his head, his stomach started protest violently. He reached over and grabbed a small trash can from the edge of the bed, vomiting into it.

After his stomach finished giving up everything in it, thankfully it hadn’t been much, Oliver flopped back onto the bed in exhaustion. He felt disgusting, sweaty and in desperate need of a shower. Plus, he still couldn’t remember what happened last night. If he was on the yacht, then it was unlikely that he had drank too much. His father frowned on that when they were at sea, saying that they always needed to be ready in case something went wrong.

Maybe he was just sick, like the flu or something. He hadn’t gotten sick in a while so he was probably due, though he didn’t remember the flu ever causing memory loss before. 

Deciding to try and find some water to wash out the gross taste in his mouth, Oliver slowly raised himself to a sitting position. When that didn’t cause the nausea to return, he stood, bracing his feet automatically to adjust to the rocking of the boat.

He tried to turn the knob on the door and found it locked. Huh. That was really strange, this door only locked from the inside, not the outside. Jiggling it a couple of time, Oliver realized he couldn’t get out. He started banging on the door.

“Hey! Help!” he cried, trying to get someone’s attention. “Dad? Mom? Can someone let me out? The door is locked.”

After several minutes of banging and yelling with no response Oliver gave up, returning to his bed to think. His headache was beginning to return, making it hard to concentrate. So many questions were swirling in his brain. Why couldn’t he remember anything? Where was everyone? How was his door locked?

Suddenly the door swung open and Thea was rushing into his room. The door slammed behind her and Oliver barely had time to brace himself before his little sister launched herself into his arms. She didn’t speak, just buried her head in his chest and sobbed.

“Thea?” he asked, fear cutting through the confusion for the first time. “What’s going on? Are you ok?”

His sister shook her head, but still didn’t look at him. He tried to be patient, just stroking her back like when she was little and had woken up screaming from a nightmare. Eventually her sobs started to slow down, he simply couldn’t wait anymore.

“Speedy?” he pleaded. “Look at me, please.”

Thea lifted her head and Oliver felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying, faint traces of old makeup streaking down her face. There was a large cut across her bottom lip that was still slightly open with drops of blood surrounding it. 

Oliver reached out and lightly gripped her chin, tilting her face up to get a better look. In addition to the split lip, he could see bruising across her cheek. His blood boiled in rage when he realized someone had backhanded his sister.

“Who hurt you,” Oliver asked, his voice low and dangerous. 

Thea eyes widened at his question. He’d never felt this level of anger before and he could tell that Thea sensed it. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to calm the beast in his gut. His sister was clearly already terrified and he didn’t need to be an ass to it.

“Thea,” he said, finally. “What’s going on? Why are we on the Queen’s Gambit? I don’t remember anything?”

“Mom and dad decided to take us on a last minute trip, remember?” Thea finally answered, her voice raspy from crying. “They said it was to bond as a family, but I was convinced they were going to tell us they were divorcing.”

Memories flooded Oliver’s brain. The trip, the talk, what he had seen the week before, he remembered it all. They’d been having dinner on the yacht last night when he’d felt ill. He remembered excusing himself from the table to go lay down. He’d only had one glass of wine.

“Where are mom and dad? What happened to your lip? Why do I feel like I got run over by a truck?” he questioned.

“Malcolm.”

“Malcolm? Malcolm Merlyn,” Oliver asked, confusion returning.

“Malcolm drugged your food last night. Yours and mom and dad’s,” Thea responded flatly. “Not mine, though.”

“How could Malcolm have drugged our food, Thea?” Oliver questioned. “He’s not even on the boat.”

“Yes, he is. Remember when dad mentioned that our normal captain was sick and we had a replacement?”

Oliver nodded, encouraging her to continue. 

“Apparently, the new captain was hired by Malcolm. He also paid off the rest of the crew, including the chef to drug your food. After all of you were passed out, Malcolm and three hired  
thugs boarded the boat.” Thea explained.

“Wait,” Oliver stopped her before she could continue. “You weren’t drugged?”

Thea shook her head.

“Nope,” she said, voice dripping with bitterness. “Apparently Malcolm didn’t want to hurt his daughter.”

Oliver blinked at his sister, unsure of how to respond. Before he could, however, Thea jumped off the bed and stood in front of him. Her eyes were blazing with anger and betrayal.

“You knew!” she accused, arms crossed defensively across her chest. “How could you not tell me?!”

“I just found out a couple of weeks ago, Speedy,” he told her, standing up as if to touch her. His heart contracted in pain when she stepped back from him.

“I don’t believe you. Everyone’s been lying to me my whole life!” Tears were falling from her eyes and Oliver had never felt so helpless. 

“I swear, Thea. I didn’t know until I overheard Mom and Malcolm talking about it two weeks ago. Malcolm was trying to convince Mom that he deserved to be in your life. He sounded frantic and crazy. After he left, I confronted Mom. Dad came in while we were arguing,” he explained.

“That’s why you were all fighting that day? You told me it was because you’d gotten drunk and missed a meeting at the company with dad? Why didn’t you tell me then?” Thea accused.

“I wanted to,” he told her, reaching for her hand. Relief washed over him when she didn’t pull away. “When Dad came in it became clear that he’d known all along. After lots of yelling and accusations, they decided to bring you on this trip and tell you together.”

Thea snorted in derision. 

“Smart move, bringing me to the middle of the ocean so I can’t run away,” Thea muttered.

Oliver gave her a small grin and tugged her into him. Her arms came up to wrap around his waist and she laid her head on his chest. Oliver felt some of the tension in his chest release. He was still terrified and confused, but as long as Thea didn’t hate him he would be okay.

“What happened after Malcolm boarded the boat?” Oliver asked her after a minute. 

Thea tensed and lifted her head from her brother’s chest. He could see the terror back in her eyes.

“He’s crazy, Ollie! He had one of his thugs reset the dining room table and sat Tommy and I down for dinner and started ranting on about how we could be a family now.”

“Tommy’s here?” Oliver asked, stomach sinking. “He’s helping his father?”

“No! Yes!” Thea took a breath before continuing. “Yes, Tommy in on the boat. No, he’s not helping Malcolm. I think he’s being drugged somehow. It’s not knocking him out, but it’s making him compliant. The only time he speaks is when Malcolm asks him a question and even then he always agrees with him You know Tommy never agrees with his father!”

Oliver felt a mixture of relief and trepidation. The fact that Tommy was being drugged and coerced was troubling but knowing his friend was not complicit in this horrible situation was reassuring.

“Ollie?” Thea's voice went quiet. “What are we going to do? I don’t know where mom and dad are, though I’m pretty sure Malcolm is torturing dad.” 

Oliver felt his stomach churn at her words. 

“Why do you say that?”

“I could hear screams coming from the engine room when I was being dragged back to my room. When I tried to escape to go to him, that’s when Malcolm smacked me. He said that he was the only father I needed now and I should learn to let go of Robert. They threw me in my room until this morning when they came to get me and brought me in here with you.”

Oliver’s grip had tightened on her hand as she recalled the events of last night. The fear he’d been feeling was slowly turning to ice-cold rage. How dare Malcolm Merlyn come here and touch anyone in his family?

“Let’s figure a way out here,” he told her, his voice hard with determination.

 

It took four days. After agreeing that they needed to figure out Malcolm’s endgame, Oliver and Thea begun to play along, being agreeable to anything and everything Malcolm demanded. As far as they could tell, he wasn’t in any hurry to kill anyone or even leave the boat. 

A routine was developed. Malcolm would take Thea away from Oliver and spend time trying to convince her that they should be a family. She would tell Oliver about how Malcolm would make her and Tommy have meals with him, including Moira in his deluded tableau, ranting the entire time about how this was the way it should’ve been all along. How it was all Robert’s fault that he didn’t have the family he deserved. 

Oliver’s time was spent convincing the guards that he was no threat to them. They showed up every couple of hours to take him to the bathroom or bring him food. He made sure to always appear weak and grateful for the attention. After the second day, they stopped entering his room with their weapons drawn, choosing instead to keep their guns tucked into the waistbands of their pants.

He was almost offended at how easily they had dismissed him as a threat, but Oliver did his best to tamp that down. He wanted them to think that he was docile. It took everything to hide the fury that grew with every passing minute.

Every night Malcolm would allow Thea to come to Oliver’s room. They quickly figured out that he did not have cameras or microphones in the room so they were able to speak freely and plan. After she was taken away, Oliver would try to sleep, but every noise had him on edge. He spent most nights plotting and planning in between short periods of rest.

On the fourth day they were as ready as they were ever going to be, both Thea and Oliver deciding that their dad’s time must be running out. Oliver was waiting behind the door when the evening guard brought him his dinner with the small chair from his desk poised over his head. As soon as the guard’s head was visible, Oliver brought the chair down onto the other man’s head with as much strength as he could muster. 

The guard fell to the floor unconscious as the chair splintered across his head. Stunned by his success, Oliver stood still for minute staring at the man on the ground. Finally, he shook off his surprise and reached down to remove the guard’s handgun from the waist of his pants and tucked it into his own. As quickly as possible he dragged the guard into the room, tied his hands and bound his wrists with the strips of sheet he’d been ripping up for days. 

As he was tying up the guard, Oliver noticed a knife sticking out of the top of the other man’s boot. Figuring it couldn’t hurt, he grabbed it and tucked it into the back of his pants.  
Peeking his head out the door, Oliver could see the hallway was empty. Thea had managed to figure out that, aside from Malcolm, there were only 3 men on board that posed any real threat. Oliver had taken care of one of them, but there were two more. The new captain and the other guard who was mainly in charge of guarding Robert. 

Trying to keep his footsteps as light as possible, Oliver snuck down the hall. His plan was to get to Thea and his mom. According to Thea, Malcolm liked to have dinner every night with them on the top deck. They were usually up there by 6:30, but Malcolm never arrived until after 7. She’d been trying to communicate the plan to their mother, but the captain was usually hovering nearby and Thea couldn’t be sure Moira had understood what she was trying to say. It seemed as if Malcolm was using the same drug on her that he was giving to Tommy. 

It was 6:45 now and Oliver knew time was running out. If he could get to Thea and their mother, the hope was that the three of them could overpower the captain and take control of the boat. At least enough to call for help. He had extra strips of fabric in his pockets just in case this ridiculous plan worked.  
To be honest, he fully expected it to fail. He was completely prepared to be killed. His only hope was that in the process, Thea could call for help. As long as his sister was safe, his life didn’t matter. 

After slowly making his way up the stairs to the top deck, Oliver paused and took in the scene in front of him. Tommy, Moira and Thea were seated around the table, silent. Though he could only see the side of her face, he could sense Thea’s tension. She was waiting for him to make his move. His mother’s back was to him. Tommy, however, was facing him, but Oliver knew better than to count on his best friend for help. Even from this distance, Oliver could tell that his friend was not completely coherent. His body was too slumped, his eyes too unfocused.

Oliver moved to try to see the captain and that’s when he saw it. Tommy looked straight at him, eyes clear and sharp, and mouthed the word “wait”. He was shocked. Tommy was not only coherent, but clearly understood what he and Thea had been planning. 

Plastering himself to the stairs as the captain circled behind Tommy, Oliver took a moment to breathe, feeling hope rise in him. If Tommy was aware of what was going on, he had a better chance of getting Thea and his parents through this alive. 

Keeping one eye on Tommy’s face, Oliver reached for the gun tucked into his pants. He really didn’t want to shoot the captain. Instead he was hoping he could somehow knock him out with the butt of the gun like they did in the movies. 

Tommy’s eyes were tracking the captain and Oliver knew his friend was trying to find the right opportunity. Oliver watched as Tommy lifted his hand off the table slightly, enough for Oliver to see his fingers moving. He was counting down.

Five.

Four. 

Three…. Oliver stood clutching the gun. 

Two, Oliver raised the weapon.

One. 

The man stepped just past where Oliver was hiding and he brought the gun down on the back on the man’s head. Unlike the movies he’d seen, the captain fell, but he was definitely awake. He turned as he fell, reaching for his gun, but he never got the chance to fire. Tommy leaped over the table, grabbing his steak knife on the way and stabbed the man in the stomach. The whole thing happened so fast that Oliver barely had time to blink. Both men watched, stunned as the captain collapsed back to the ground, clutching his stomach in pain.  
Blinking out of his stupor, Oliver reached over and grabbed the man’s gun and tried to hand it to Tommy. Tommy was just staring at his hands, horrified by the blood on them.

“Tommy,” Oliver said, quietly. He knew his friend was upset, but they didn’t have the time right now. 

Tommy lifted his eyes to Oliver’s. They were wrecked, filled with hatred and horror. 

“I need to go find my dad,” Oliver told the other man as gently as possible. “Can you stay here and watch Thea and my mom?”

Tommy shook his head vehemently. “No, I’m coming with you.” 

Oliver shook his head, walking over to the bleeding man on the deck. He quickly pulled extra strips of fabric from his pocket and bound the man as tight as possible, making the injured man cry out in even more pain. Oliver ignored him, choosing to focus on his mom and Thea instead. Thea seemed in the best shape. A little pale and slightly thinner, but overall in good shape.

His mom, however, was clearly not well. She’d lost weight over the past few days. Her eyes were unfocused, just staring out to the sea. Even when he stepped into her eye line, she never focused on him

The cold ball of rage that had begun to take root in Oliver’s gut tripled in size. His mother was strong, controlling, powerful, and Malcolm had managed to take all that away from her. 

“Tommy, stay here with mom and Thea,” Oliver commanded, heading toward the stairs.

Tommy’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm as he passed him.

“Oliver, I can’t let you go by yourself,” Tommy insisted. “My dad has gone crazy. He’ll kill you.”

“I know that, Tommy,” Oliver answered, his voice was quiet, but laced with steel. “I need you to watch my mom while Thea gets to the radio.”

“Ollie.”

“No, Tommy,” Oliver stopped him before he could continue. “Malcolm is hurting my dad right now. I have to stop him.”

“Isn’t that sweet?” 

Oliver’s head shot up to see Malcolm standing at the top of the stairs with Robert next to him, a gun pointed at his stomach. Blood was streaming down Robert’s face, both eyes barely open due to the swelling. Oliver could see his dad’s shoulder was dislocated by the way it hung limply and there were more blood stains on his shirt than Oliver could count. 

“Drop the knife, Oliver,” Malcolm demanded when Oliver tightened his grip on the weapon. “You too, Tommy.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Oliver could see the third guard making his way to stand next to Tommy, gun drawn. Catching Oliver’s eye, the other man gave a slight nod before tossing his knife to the ground taking a small step backwards in the process. That’s when Oliver realized that Tommy was blocking the guard’s view of the gun tucked into his own pants. 

That little thing made Oliver more determined than ever to make sure Tommy and everyone else made it off of this boat alive. Oliver would do anything to make that happen. Including sacrificing himself.

Throwing his own knife to the ground, he tried to catch his dad’s eye. Robert may be beat down, but Oliver could still see his dad in there. The look he gave his son told Oliver that he was ready to follow his lead. 

Malcolm let go of Robert who slumped against the side the boat in obvious pain. It took everything in Oliver not to run to him and help. He could hear Thea behind him, crying at the sight of her dad in such pain.

With a nod of his head, Malcolm gestured to the guard to move over to watch Robert. Malcolm, his hand dangling his gun loosely at his side, made his way over to the rest of them. Tommy and Oliver begun slowly inching backward until they were blocking Thea and Moira with their bodies, shielding them as best they could. 

Of course, Malcolm noticed.

“Look at you two,” he sneered. “Trying to protect them. Don’t you know it’s pointless? If I wanted to hurt them, I would have already done it.”

“You think you haven’t hurt them?” Oliver cried, pointing to the faded bruise on Thea’s jaw. “What do you call that?”

“I call that a reminder to a spoiled brat about who is in charge,” Malcolm replied, sounding almost bored.

Oliver could feel Thea tense behind him, but she kept quiet. 

“What did you do to my mom?” Oliver asked, anger making his voice crack.

“That’s just a little medicinal insurance,” Malcolm answered with a smirk. “Moira was having a hard time seeing things my way. This just helps her be a little more…. amenable.”  
Then Malcolm turned to Tommy.

“Looks like I underestimated how much to use on you, though, son.”

“I am NOT your son, you psychopath!” Tommy spit out.

Malcolm’s eyes narrowed in anger. He stepped closer to Tommy and everything fell into place. 

The yacht crested over a large wave, causing Thea to lose her balance and crash into her brother from behind. That momentum propelled Oliver enough to grab Malcolm’s gun from his hand as he tripped forward.

Time seemed to slow down as Oliver brought the gun up and aimed it at Malcolm. He could see the derision in the older man’s face as if he didn’t believe Oliver would actually do it.

For a second, he couldn’t. Oliver hesitated long enough to see his father muster the strength to tackle the guard to the ground. The guard dropped his gun and Robert managed to grab it and shot the man before he could get up. 

When Malcolm started to turn away from him, gun raised at Robert’s head, Oliver snapped out of it. He squeezed the trigger before he could even think about it. The bullet pierced through Malcolm’s torso. He dropped his gun, which Tommy scooped up and aimed at him. 

Clutching his stomach, hands dripping from his own blood, Malcolm stumbled backward with a stunned look. After a moment, he slumped to the ground. 

*************************************************************************************

“Oliver?” Dr. Snow asked when Oliver stopped talking. 

Oliver blinked slowly at her. He’d forgotten she was there; he was so wrapped up in the past. This was first time he’d ever told anyone what happened and it was like living it all over  
again. He could still feel the kickback from gun as he’d shot Malcolm. The stench of blood still filled his nostrils mingled with the salt of the ocean. He could almost feel the boat swaying underneath his feet. 

He closed his eyes for a minute and tried to breathe. It hurt. It hurt to breathe. He couldn’t catch his breath. His chest was tightening and he couldn’t stop it. 

“I think I’m having a heart attack,” he finally choked out bending over his knees in an effort to suck air into his lungs.

Dr. Snow stood quickly and made her way next to him on the couch. She reached out and grabbed his hand and squeezed.

“Oliver,” she said, her voice quiet but firm. “You are not having a heart attack. This is a panic attack.”

Oliver shook his head vehemently. No, he didn’t have panic attacks. That didn’t happen. This had to be something else.

“Listen to my voice, Oliver. You are not on that boat. You are in my office in Starling City. You are safe. Your family is safe.”

Dr. Snow repeated those words to him over and over while Oliver concentrated on breathing in and out. Eventually the air came easier and tightness in his chest began to loosen. After several minutes he was able to open his eyes and breath normally again.

“That’s never happened before,” Oliver admitted to Dr. Snow once he could breathe again.

She squeezed his hand once more before letting go. Now that he was back with her, she understood he needed some space to work through what he’d just experienced.

“A panic attack is not uncommon based on your experiences. It’s also not a sign of weakness, Oliver,” she stated, voice firm as if daring him to contradict her.

Oliver ducked his head. He knew she was right, but it sure as hell felt like a weakness to him. After five years he’d expected to have moved on by now. The strength of his reaction was a revelation.

Dr. Snow had made her way back to her chair across the room, for which Oliver was grateful. 

“Do you feel like you could tell me what happened next or would you rather wait until our next session?”

Shaking his head, Oliver lifted his eyes to meet hers. There was no censure in them, no disgust at the things he had done. He knew she was trained to remain neutral, but it still eased some of the tension in his chest to see that she wasn’t horrified.

He took a breath and closed his eyes, going back to that boat once again.

“Dad was able to make it to the control room,” he began, his voice bland, almost cold, as he related the facts. “He figured out we were just a few miles of the coast of California. 

Apparently Malcolm had been planning to continue our torture in his own home.”

His stomach rolled at the thought of Thea in the hands of that monster. Shaking the image from his mind, Oliver continued.

“My dad was able to call in some help.”

“What kind of help?” 

“People who specialize in cleaning up messes for people who don’t want the scandal,” Oliver told her bitterly. 

“Is that why everyone thinks Malcolm Merlyn died from a tragic fall in his home?” Dr. Snow nudged.

A humorless laugh escaped Oliver’s mouth before he could stop it.

“Can’t have the world knowing that he was a psychopath who tortured and almost killed a man. We can’t tell everyone that he used mind-altering drugs on his own son. Definitely can’t tell them that he was the biological father of my sister and we absolutely cannot tell the world the Oliver Queen murdered him.”

“You keep using that word.”

It took a moment for her statement to sink in, the old rage making his head buzz.

“What word?” he asked, confused.

“Murder. You keep saying that you murdered Malcolm,” she reiterated. 

“That’s because I did,” Oliver said slowly, as if explaining to a child. “I pulled the trigger and he’s dead. I murdered him.”

Dr. Snow didn’t say anything, just continued scribbling some notes. The silence made him antsy, but he refused to fidget. Instead, Oliver sat with his hands hanging loosely between his knees and his eyes staring straight ahead.

After a few minutes, Dr. Snow finally raised her head and looked at him.

“Our time is about up for today, Oliver. I have some things I want you to think about before I see you again, but first I want to thank you.”

Oliver’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. She wanted to thank him? For what?

“I know it wasn’t easy to tell me what happened that night. I want to thank you for being so honest. I have a much better understanding of you and how I can help you now,” she explained in that soft, patient voice that Oliver wasn’t sure if he like or hated.

“You’re welcome?” he asked, not sure how to respond.

Dr. Snow let out a light laugh at his response.

“Before you come back, I want you to think about why you keep using the word murder to describe what you did to Malcolm.” He opened his mouth to protest or explain, Dr. Snow raised a hand to cut him off.

“Don’t tell me now. Think about it. And while you’re doing that I want you to consider this: would you still call it murder if Tommy had killed him? Or Thea? Or your father?”

Oliver’s mouth closed with a click at her question. He’d never thought of it like that before.

“Next week?” Dr. Snow asked, standing.

Oliver stood as well. He reached out a hand and shook hers.

“Next week,” he agreed.

*************************************************************************************  
Three weeks later

 

Oliver felt completely drained. Every time he left Dr. Snow’s office he felt like he’d been sucked dry, but this time was worse. This time she had convinced him to come to one of the group sessions she led for victims of traumatic events. 

He hadn’t uttered a single word other than his name. He’d just sat back and listened to the people who had come. Their stories were…horrifying, terrible, miraculous. He couldn’t get over the bravery they had all shown both in the midst of their tragedies and in the way they had faced their lives after. 

Completely distracted by his own thoughts, Oliver opened the door to leave the office and walked straight into someone. Instinctively he reached out and grabbed the person, a woman, so she wouldn’t fall over. Before he could apologize, however, he heard her start talking.

“Oh my God. Are you ok? I didn’t see you, well, of course I didn’t see you. You were opening the door. Well, I think we were both opening it at the same time,” she rambled on. 

Oliver just stared. She hadn’t looked up at him yet, still trying to straighten her purse which had gotten twisted.

“Felicity?” he finally managed to choke out.

Her head shot up and Oliver could finally see her big blue eyes. God, she was beautiful. He’d forgotten how beautiful she was. 

“Oliver?” she asked with a hesitant voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Seeing Dr. Snow,” he told her, quietly.

Her eyes widened at his words like she was surprised. She opened her mouth to respond, but Oliver cut her off.

“Before you say anything, I need to apologize to you. For Thea’s birthday party.”

Felicity’s eyes widened more before he saw them shutter. She shook her head as if to stop him, but he pressed on.

“I treated you terribly, Felicity and I am so sorry.”

“Oliver, I don’t really have time for this,” she countered trying to step past him.

“I know and I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but I’m going to anyway.”

His heart was pounding with fear and anxiety.

“What? What do you want to ask?” she questioned, eyes narrowed.

“Will you meet me somewhere after you’re done here? So we can talk?” 

His palms were sweating. He couldn’t remember the last time his palms had sweat.

“That’s not necessary, Oliver. I really don’t think we have anything to talk about,” she said, brushing off his question.

“Please, Felicity?” he pleaded. “Please. I have things I need to say and if you never want to see me again after I’m done I will accept it and never ask anything of you again.”

Felicity stared at him. Oliver got the feeling she was trying to read his mind. 

“Fine,” she said, finally. “One hour. Jitters.”

“I’ll be there. And, Felicity,” he called as she walked past him. ” Thank you.” 

 

He smiled politely at the waitress who refilled his coffee cup, feeling very grateful it wasn’t Iris. She and Barry both knew the truth of what had happened that night at Verdant and Oliver wasn’t sure he could handle Felicity’s sister shooting him death glares while he waited. 

Taking a sip of coffee, he checked the time and felt his heart race when he realized Felicity should be there any minute. If she didn’t stand him up, which he half expected, to be honest. She had every reason to and he wouldn’t blame her if she did. 

The door to the coffee shop opened with a jingle and Oliver’s head shot up. He saw Felicity standing in the doorway, scanning the room. He saw her eye widen when she saw him like she was surprised he was actually there and Oliver’s heart sank. The fact that she expected him to let her down again showed him just how much he had hurt her. 

She squared her shoulders before walking towards him. Several people called out to her as she walked by and she waved back, not stopping until she reached him. Oliver stood as she approached the table wiping his damned sweaty palms on his pants.

“Hi,” he said when she finally arrived in front of him. 

“What am I doing here, Oliver?” Felicity asked without preamble, arms crossing over her chest.

“Well,” he started, reaching over to pull out a chair. “I was hoping you were here to let me apologize.”

“You apologized earlier,” she insisted. “I’m only here because Dr. Snow said I should at least give you a chance, but I’m juggling three jobs and trying to finish my thesis. I don’t have time for your games, Oliver.”

Filing away the information about the jobs and thesis for later, Oliver looked her straight in the eye, “I swear to you that I am not playing games, Felicity.” 

She still looked completely unconvinced, but still sat in the offered chair.

Oliver also sat, but before he could begin, his waitress appeared at their side with a to-go cup.

“Here you go, Felicity,” she said cheerfully. “It’s your usual.

Felicity shot the young woman a genuine smile, “Thanks Tiffany. I appreciate it.”

Tiffany’s eyes darted between himself and Felicity and Oliver caught a subtle shake of Felicity’s head. 

“Sure thing, Felicity. Let me know if you need anything else.” The other woman left quickly leaving them alone.

Oliver knew this was when he should start talking, but suddenly he didn’t know what to say. He’d been planning his apology for weeks now, thinking about how he would beg Felicity to forgive him and now that the time was here, all words left his brain.

Felicity, for her part, remained silent. She sat across from him, sipping her coffee and looking more beautiful than he remembered, except this time her expression was guarded and Oliver knew that was his fault.

Clearing his throat, Oliver finally began, “What I did at Thea’s birthday party was terrible. I have no excuse. I am so sorry, Felicity.”

Once the words were out of his mouth, Oliver resisted the urge to keep talking. He wanted the apology to stand for itself.

“That’s it? No excuse, no qualifiers?” she asked, finally speaking.

“No,” Oliver replied, shaking his head. “No excuses.”

“Why did you kiss me?” she blurted out, surprising both of them. That was not what he was expecting her to ask and he could tell she hadn’t meant to say it.

“I kissed you because I couldn’t not kiss you,” Oliver admitted. Her eyes widened in surprise at his words. “I wanted to kiss you from the moment I met you. I’ve never felt so instantly connected to someone before and every time I saw you, that connection grew, at least for me.”

“For me too, “he heard her whisper and his heart contracted. God, this was so screwed up.

“Then there you were,” he continued. “Falling into my arms and I couldn’t stop myself.”

Felicity stayed silent again, staring down at her coffee cup and Oliver had to bite his lips to keep from filling the quiet with excuses. When she lifted her head, he could see the devastation on her face. He had to physically restrain himself from pulling her into his arms.

“Then why, Oliver?” she pleaded. “Why did you kiss…. her?”

He dropped his head and looked at the table, unable to meet her eyes, “Because I messed up, Felicity. I AM messed up. Kissing you was everything I’d hoped it would be, more, and Helena came along to remind me of just how fucked up I am and how you deserve so much better than the mess that is my life. So, I did what I always do, I ruined it. I fucked everything up.”

“I don’t know what I am supposed to say,” Felicity admitted, quietly. 

Oliver lifted his eyes to see her staring at him, the expression on her face was one of confusion.

“I know I ruined any chance I had of being with you, Felicity,” he told her bluntly. “I know that and I will regret it for the rest of my life. What I need to know is if you can forgive me enough to try being my friend.”

Her eyes widened in surprise, “You want to be my friend?” she sounded shocked at the suggestion.

Oliver nodded, “You are Thea’s best friend, Tommy and Laurel adore you, and even my assistant Emily thinks the world of you. You are everywhere, Felicity. In fact, I think everyone I know would choose you over me any day. And they should,” he insisted when she started to protest. “You’ve been there for them so much more than I have.”

He paused to take a deep breath. This baring your soul stuff was a lot harder than he’d thought it would be. Looking back into her eyes, Oliver could see the indecision she must have been feeling.

“I’m trying to better, Felicity. I’ve been seeing Dr. Snow for three weeks now. It’s hard and miserable and I hate it, but it’s helping. The fractures in my relationships with Tommy and Thea are deeper than I thought, but they are beginning to heal. I can’t fix them completely, however, until I fix things with you.”

“Oliver,” she started, but he stopped her. If he was going to do this, he needed to say it all at once.

“Felicity, if you don’t think you can forgive me, I understand,” he told her, urgently. “I swear I’m not trying to pressure or guilt you into giving me another chance. If you can’t be around me, I will find reasons not to be where you are. I will give you any space you need, I promise.”

She sighed softly, “Oliver, I am not going to make you stay away from me. That’s not realistic,” she took a breath before reaching across the table to grasp his hand. Oliver’s breath caught at the contact. “I accept your apology and I would be okay with trying to become friends.” 

He breathed a sigh of relief, ignoring the stab in his heart at her emphasis of the word friends. He squeezed her hand that was still in his.

“Thank you, Felicity.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [tumblr ](lynslogic.tumblr.com)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I was stuck for a while on this one, but once I got going it really flowed! Thanks for your patience. You may have noticed that I added a total number of chapters. I think I have it plotted out to be 20 chapters. That number might change, but that's what I'm aiming for right now.  
> Thanks to Zee at [octoberobserver ](http://octoberobserver.tumblr.com/) for all her cheerleading and betaing.  
> Let me know what you think. You can also find me at [tumblr ](http://lynslogic.tumblr.com/)  
> Thanks for reading!!

Felicity smoothed out her ponytail in the mirror as she checked her appearance one more time. She had been so deep in research and writing mode for her thesis the last couple of weeks, that she barely remembered to shower and sleep. But today was her day off, both from all her jobs and from her school work. Today was Grace Harper’s first birthday and Felicity was going to enjoy it. 

“You look nice,” Iris commented upon entering the room.

“Thanks,” Felicity responded. “However, I could do without the surprise in your voice.”

Iris laughed as she jumped onto her sister’s bed and crossed her legs. “You know I don’t mean it like that. You’ve just been so busy lately and practically living in yoga pants. It’s nice to see you dressed up a little even if I don’t like the reason.”

Brows furrowed, Felicity turned from the mirror to face the other woman. “You don’t like me going to a baby’s birthday party?” 

Iris rolled her eyes, “No. You know I love Grace.”

“Then what...”

“I don’t like the idea of you dressing up to see Oliver after what he did to you,” Iris cut in, her tone cold and harsh. 

With a sigh, Felicity made her way across the room to sit next to Iris on the bed. “First of all, I am not dressing up to see Oliver.It feels nice to put on a pretty dress after weeks of t-shirts and yoga pants, as you just pointed out.”

“And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Oliver will be there?” Iris asked incredulously.

“No, it has to do with the fact that I like to wear dresses. Plus, Grace will love it.” Felicity pointed out, knowing it was true. The little girl already had her mother’s eye for fashion and the bright yellow sundress will make her little eyes light up.

Iris smiled, knowing her sister had a point. Grace loved pretty things. Her smile fell quickly though. “I just hate what he did to you, Felicity. I don’t know how you can be around him.”

Wrapping her arms around Iris’ shoulders, Felicity sighed and brought the other woman in close. “I understand your anger, Iris, I do. But you don’t know what he’s been through. I only know Thea’s side of things and my heart breaks for him. He's a good man who made a mistake.”

Iris raised her head to argue but Felicity cut her off.

“Look, I’m not excusing his behavior. He was an asshole. The difference between him and your typical asshole though, is that he knows he was wrong and he’s trying to be better. He went through something horrible and that messes you up, trust me, I know.”

Felicity waited for a response, but Iris remained silent, her head down. “Hey,” Felicity squeezed her shoulders. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”  
“Do you think you’ll ever get to the point where you can tell me what happened?” Iris asked so quietly Felicity almost didn’t hear her. “I mean, I know it something bad and I know you don’t feel comfortable talking about it. And I get that I was young when it happened, but you’re my sister and someone hurt you.”

Felicity closed her eyes and took a shaky breath.

“You know, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Iris retracted quickly, trying to pull away. “It’s fine. You have Thea and Dr. Snow. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

Grabbing Iris’ hand, Felicity kept her on the bed while she stared at her trying to find the words she needed to explain. 

“Iris,” she began. “You are my sister. I love you more than anything. When “it” happened, you were too young to talk to about it. I could barely talk to anyone. Even my mom. Thank God she found Dr. Snow for me or I may have never talked again. Just as I was getting my head above water, Mom and Joe died. It took everything in me to keep going and only the fact that you needed me kept me sane.”

Iris squeezed Felicity’s hand. “I can never thank you for what you’ve done for me. Don’t tell me that I don’t have to thank you, I know I don’t, but I want to. You stepped up in the best way possible. I miss Dad and Donna every day, but it didn’t break me the way it would have if you weren’t here.”

Blinking rapidly to fight back the tears, Felicity said, “There was no choice to make, Iris. We are family. And you’re right. I would like to tell you what happened, but I’m scared it will change how you see me.”

Iris reached up and grabbed Felicity’s face in her hands and stared directly into her eyes. “Nothing will ever change how I see you. You are my sister. All the family I have left and I love you so much.”

Tears fell from Felicity’s eyes at the fierceness in Iris’ voice. “Damn. Now I have to redo my make-up,” Felicity said on a sob.

Wiping away her own tears, Iris laughed before pulling the blonde in for a tight hug. “Don’t worry,” she whispered. “I’ll help you.”

Felicity’s heart skipped a beat at the double meaning in the words. “I know you will, “she whispered back.

 

Walking into Thea and Roy’s backyard an hour later, Felicity knew she was late, but it was worth it. She and Iris had laughed and caught up on things while Iris helped her fix her makeup and pick out shoes. Felicity had even promised Iris she could come to Felicity’s next appointment with Dr. Snow. It was scary and slightly overwhelming, but Felicity felt like she was ready.

Stopping for a moment as the gate closed behind her, she took a minute to observe her friends before they noticed her. Roy was at the grill talking animatedly with Laurel as he flipped some burgers, using the spatula to make a point from time to time. The two of them could really go at it with Laurel’s strict sense of justice and Roy’s more shades of grey approach bred from his years in the Glades. 

Tommy and Thea were off to the side of the yard with James between them as the little boy took a few tentative steps to his aunt. Thea laughed when he reached her and scooped James, throwing him into the air. A baby belly laugh floated across the yard making Felicity smile in response. 

Scanning the yard, Felicity found Oliver pushing Grace on the swing set, the little girl squealing every time her uncle pushed her a little higher. Felicity’s heart stuttered at the sight and she didn’t even try to fight it. She knew she was still attracted to him. How could she not be? He was gorgeous. More than that though, he was a good person. Previous mistakes aside, he was kind, thoughtful, sweet and quietly funny. 

For the past two weeks, Oliver had made good on his promise to be her friend. Between three jobs and writing her thesis, she was absolutely swamped, but somehow Oliver seemed to know exactly what she needed when she needed it. More often than not he would end up sitting with her as she worked in her corner of Jitters. He didn’t interrupt, never got offended when she left her headphones in, he just sat there and did his own work or read. She would look up and there would be fresh coffee in front of her, or a sandwich. When she needed a break, he would automatically stop whatever he was doing and give her his full attention. 

They talked about anything and everything. The consulting work she’d started doing the last year or so, her thesis, personnel issues he was having at the office. Grace was a frequent topic of conversation which did nothing to temper Felicity’s attraction to him. Oliver so clearly loved his niece and she adored him right back. It made him even more attractive to her.  
But, Felicity kept reminding herself, they had closed that door. They were friends. Quickly becoming good friends, but still, just friends. It didn’t matter that watching him play with his niece caused her breath to catch and her heart to stutter. And she definitely didn’t care when his face broke out into a huge grin when he caught sight of her standing there. 

Ignoring the stupid flutters of her heart at Oliver’s obvious joy, she chose to focus on Grace instead. The birthday girl had spotted her as well currently babbling and reaching for her.  
Oliver had stopped the swing by the time she reached them so Felicity was able to scoop Grace out of the swing easily.

“Hey birthday girl,” she cooed, swinging Grace above her head. The baby squealed which turned to giggles as Felicity started planting kisses on Grace’s chubby little cheeks. When she finished, Grace grabbed her cheeks and gave Felicity a wet, slobbery kiss. 

Felicity laughed, shifting the girl to her hip before turning her attention to Oliver. “Hi, Oliver.”

“Hi Felicity,” he answered with a smile. “Everything okay?”

“Of course,” Felicity responded, confused. “Why?”

“You’re never late. Plus, it looks like you’ve been crying,” he stated matter-of-factly, his eyes concerned.

She sighed. Damn this man and his extreme attentiveness.

“Sorry about being late,” she apologized, reaching down to pull her necklace from Grace’s tight grasp. “Iris and I got to talking before I left and I must have lost track of time.”

“And the crying?” he prompted.

“It’s nothing, Oliver. Just some sister bonding, I promise,” she added when he still looked skeptical.

He continued to stare for a minute. Felicity met his gaze openly. Finally, he nodded, his face softening back into his smile from earlier.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. 

“Starving,” she replied, smiling at him.

“Then you’re just in time to try one of Roy’s charred burgers before Grace opens her presents,” Oliver informed her, cupping her elbow to lead her toward the patio.

“Shoot!” she cried. “I left the presents in the car.”

“Presents?” he inquired with an amused smirk. “As in more than one?”

Felicity reached over and smacked his arm gently. Oliver clutched his arm in pretend pain, causing Grace to giggle at her silly uncle. “One from me and one from Iris. She had to work this afternoon.”

“I’ll go get them,” he offered when she went to hand him the baby. 

Felicity transferred Grace to her other hip and fished in her purse for her keys. Once they were found, she dropped them into Oliver’s waiting hand. “Thanks. Come on, Gracie. Let’s go get a burger from Daddy.”

Oliver watched as Felicity walked away from him, Grace babbling incoherently into her ear. Turning toward the side gate, he headed toward her car, grateful for a moment to himself. 

Worried about her being late, Oliver had been just about to call her when she’d walked into the backyard and his heart stopped. She looked like spring in her bright yellow dress and teal sweater and he had never seen anyone look so beautiful.

When he noticed her red eyes, however, Oliver’s joy at seeing morphed into concern. He knew she was strong, unbelievably so, but she brought out this need to protect in Oliver that was difficult to control. He tempered it with coffee and food when she was working, but seeing the obvious signs of distress on her face made him want to find whoever hurt her and, well he wasn’t sure what he would do from there. Make sure they never did it again, that was for sure.

Shaking off his violent thoughts, Oliver unlocked Felicity’s car, shaking his head at the tiny size of it. Two brightly wrapped packages were on her front seat. They were covered in shiny paper and pretty bows that he knew Grace would love. Grabbing the presents in one arms, Oliver spied her phone sitting on the seat. He grabbed it, knowing Felicity would want it with her. She was never without her phone. 

Just as he picked it up, the phone began to ring. Glancing at the screen before he could stop himself, he saw a picture of a man with a wide, cheesy grin smiling back at him, the name on the caller id reading, Ray. He let it ring, refusing to violate her privacy, until it went to her voicemail. That’s when he noticed “Ray” had tried calling two other times before.  
It must be one of Felicity’s clients from the freelance web security work she did. Feeling extra glad that he had grabbed her phone for her, Oliver shut the door, locked it and headed back to the house. Halfway there, the phone buzzed again, this time with a text from Ray.

“Felicity. Call me. We really need to talk about this. Please. I’m sure we can work something out.”

Oliver’s gut clenched at the words on the screen. They could mean anything, but somehow he didn’t think Ray was one of Felicity’s clients. She never mentioned if she was seeing anyone, but their friendship was still so new that Oliver couldn’t blame her. He knew he had no right to the emotions churning in his stomach right now, but he couldn’t seem to stop them.

“Hey, did you get lost?” 

Oliver looked up to see Felicity heading toward where he was stopped on the sidewalk. She wasn’t carrying Grace any longer.

“Where’s Grace?” he asked.

“She left me for Tommy and James, the traitor,” she sighed melodramatically.

Oliver smiled. “Sorry I took so long. I grabbed your phone for you. A text just came through and it distracted me.”

Felicity’s eyes went wide. “I can’t believe I left it in the car. I must be slipping!”

Keeping the presents in one arm, Oliver reached out the other to hand her the phone. Felicity took it with a smile and they started walking back to the house. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her read the text on the screen and let out a barely audible sigh. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he offered quietly.

“You read it?”

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. It was just kind of there,” he explained, hoping she would believe him.

“Can we talk about it later?” she asked.

Oliver nodded. “Of course. Let’s get these presents to Gracie.” He could tell she really didn’t want to talk about whatever it was now, and no matter how much it killed him, he was going to respect her wishes. Sometimes this friend thing was tough.

An hour and half later Grace was happily ripping apart the wrapping paper from her presents, the toys themselves having been abandoned. She was in just a diaper, covered head to toe in frosting and looking happier than Felicity had ever seen her before. 

Felicity was sitting next to Laurel at the patio table, enjoying the moment. It was a beautiful afternoon and she was surrounded by her makeshift family. Sara and Emily had shown up not long after Felicity and were currently pushing James on the swing. Even Iris had managed to make it after all, getting off work early and dragging Barry along. Felicity could hear people laughing, talking, even arguing and it all made her so happy. More than she ever thought she would be again five years ago.

Beep, beep, beep.

Heads turned at the sound to Thea, who was pulling out her phone. 

“It’s a text from mom and dad,” she explained. “They want to Skype and wish Grace a happy birthday.”

Murmurs went through the crowd as Thea went to get her laptop. Everyone seemed to be happily surprised. Robert and Moira weren’t overly involved with Grace’s life, living in Russia and everything, but Thea seemed happy to hear from them which made everyone else happy.

Everyone except Oliver. Felicity seemed to be the only one who tensed up when the text came through. Even now, she could tell he was holding on. Slowly, Felicity rose from her chair and made her way to where he was standing on the edge of the patio. She never said a word, just stood next to him, trying to offer her support without words. 

“She’s already had her cake,” Thea was saying as she came back, the laptop open in front of her. “Though, it looks like she’s wearing more of it than she actually ate.”

Thea moved to sit next to her daughter on the grass so her grandparents could see her. Grace instantly started waving and babbling at them, clearly thrilled at being the center of attention.

The tension kept rolling off of Oliver in waves, but Felicity seemed to be the only who noticed it. Felicity reached over and slowly wrapped his hand in hers, squeezing to remind him she was there. He still didn’t speak, continuing to stare at his niece talking to her grandparents, but he squeezed her hand back. 

It wasn’t long before Grace’s attention span wore out and began to crawl off in search of other entertainment. 

“Did you guys want to talk to Oliver?” Thea asked her parents as she rose from the grass.

Oliver’s hand clenched in hers. Hard. Felicity glanced up at his face and was shocked to see panic across it. He looked absolutely terrified. 

“Oliver, what...?” Felicity began to ask.

“Oliver?” came Moira’s voice from the computer. She sounded surprised and cautious, like she wasn’t sure if he would want to talk to her. 

Shaking off his surprise, Oliver grabbed the computer from Thea and headed toward the house, talking quietly as he went.

The rest of the party was left slightly stunned in the backyard. 

“Well,” announced Roy, being the first to recover. “That was weird.”

Thea continued to stare off her brother for a minute before making the decision to follow him into the house. Felicity glanced over and noticed a frosting-covered Grace heading straight for the sandbox. Scooping the little girl into her arms, Felicity handed her to her father. “I think someone could use a quick bath.”

Roy laughed as Grace started giving him kisses, leaving behind bits of frosting. “I think you’re right,” he agreed before heading into the house.

 

When Oliver emerged from the house some time later he didn’t see Felicity anywhere. Tommy and Laurel were packing up a sleepy James to head home for a nap. Roy was cleaning off the grill, with Barry and Iris carrying in dishes and trash. Sara and Emily had headed out earlier due to a class Sara was scheduled to teach. He knew Thea was still inside talking with their parents. 

Oliver himself was feeling a bit shell shocked from the whole thing. He kept in touch with his dad on a regular basis, but his mom…that was a whole other thing.

Scanning the yard, he finally spotted Felicity and Grace in the huge hammock strung up between two oak trees at the far end of the yard. His heart did that weird stop and then start beating frantically thing it did earlier. Felicity was laid out across the hammock, her yellow dress tucked carefully under her. Grace was curled up on her chest having finally succumbed to the exhaustion of her birthday party. 

They drew him in, such a picture of peace and tranquility. He needed that, craved it right now. He just wanted to lay down next to them and be a part of that and he found himself walking towards them before he even realized it. 

As he neared the hammock, Oliver could hear Felicity singing softly under her breath. He didn’t recognize the song, something about rain and a boy who broker her heart, but it didn’t matter. It just added to the feeling of serenity that was radiating from her and Grace. 

Though he was careful, she still somehow sensed that he was near and stopped singing. Before he could protest, she turned her head and gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen. 

“Come on in,” she whispered. “There’s plenty of room for you.”

Everything in him was telling him to crawl into that hammock and embrace the quiet peace she was offering and Oliver gave in before his usual doubts and fears could stop him. Carefully, he crawled into the hammock, the curve of the net placing him flush against Felicity’s side. He heard her gasp of breath at the contact then felt her body melt into his just a little. 

“Hi,” he said softly.

“Hi,” she responded. “Are you okay?”

“No,” came the honest answer. “That was hard.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she queried. 

He knew she wouldn’t push if he didn’t want to tell her, but Oliver found himself wanting her to know. 

“That was the first time I’ve talked directly to my mom in 4 years,” he admitted, bracing himself for the judgement, but none came. When he glanced at her face all he saw was quiet curiosity as she waited for him to continue.

“After the boat, mom was in the hospital for a while. Malcolm had given her a lot of drugs and they took a while to clear out. The decision had been made to go to Russia. Queen Consolidated has a branch there and doctors that can be bought off quite easily.” Oliver paused, closing his eyes as the memories of those days in Russia came flooding back.

He reached over and began to stroke Grace’s back, grounding himself in the here and now before the panic could set in. He concentrated on the feel of his niece’s back rising and falling with her breaths, on the smell of grass and Felicity’s shampoo, on the sound of Thea and Roy laughing in the background.

Opening his eyes, he saw Felicity’s blue ones staring back at him with concern. Slowly, she reached up and cupped his cheek, her palm stroking the scruff there. It felt so good he barely resisted the urge to purr and nuzzle into it. Instead he gave her a slight nod, letting her he was all right.

“At first I refused to see her,” Oliver continued. “I was so angry at her. I know she wasn’t involved with Malcolm’s plan, but she had been lying to Thea and me for so long. Besides, Malcolm was dead and she wasn’t so it was easy to blame everything on her.”

Felicity’s hand slid from his cheek to rest on top of his on Grace’s back. He silent understanding meant so much.

“After about two months, Thea finally convinced me I needed to see her. So I went to the hospital. At first it was fine. We talked about nothing, stupid small talk sh…crap,” he caught himself, not wanting to swear in front of Grace, even if she was asleep. 

Felicity grinned at him like she thought he was adorable and he barely resisted preening under her silent praise. God, he was pathetic sometimes.

“Anyway, we were talking about little stuff, but I was getting frustrated. I wanted to have it out with her so I started talking about Malcolm. I don’t even remember what I said. Something about the boat and what happened and she lost it. She started screaming like I was trying to kill her, calling me a murderer over and over. Nurses came running in and had to restrain her,” Oliver’s voice caught and he stopped his story again to try and regain some control.

“Oliver,” Felicity breathed, her hand squeezing his.

Wanting to get it all out, Oliver took a deep breath before he continued. “It took a while to get her calmed down again. After she fell asleep, Dad and I talked to the doctors. They believed that the drugs Malcolm gave her combined with the brainwashing he was attempting when we were on the boat, Mom now saw me as a threat. The man who killed the man she was being told to trust. While they were sure they could work her through it, for the time being I was a threat to her and her recovery.”

Once upon a time, Oliver would have been ashamed of the tears forming in his eyes. He would have tried to hide them or just left, but he was learning there was no shame in his hurt. His mother hating him and calling him a murderer had cut into his soul in his ways he was still discovering.

Right here, with his niece asleep in the arms of a woman he was falling for so hard and so fast, he felt some of the cracks begin to heal. Slowly, painfully closing. 

“After a few more tries with the same result, the doctors said I shouldn’t come around anymore. I couldn’t stand being there then, so I went to Hong Kong under guise of taking over the business there. Really, I was just running away,” he admitted, his voice thick with tears.

Shifting to her side, Felicity slid Grace until she was nestled between the two of them. “Oliver,” Felicity began. “Leaving a situation like that is not running away. It must have killed you to not be able to talk to your mom. I know you were mad at her, but she’s still your mom.”

Oliver wondered if he would ever get used to having someone understand him so well. He only hoped one day she would trust him enough to tell him what she had gone through so he could be there for her.

“I’d been in Hong Kong for about 8 months when I got the first email. The doctors had been working with her and they felt it was time she made contact with me. Felicity, I was in a really dark place when that email came, I won’t go into it now, but when she sent me that first email, I lost it. Everything I had been trying to repress for the past year and a half came roaring back and I went off. I sent her an email filled with every little thing I hated about her at the time. Everything I was angry about.”

Oliver searched her face, sure that this time he would see the derision and condemnation, but all he saw was concern and sympathy. She stroked his side, silently encouraging him to finish.

“My dad was furious, but for the longest time I couldn’t bring myself to care. Eventually, I found some…friends in Hong Kong that gave me a way to work through some of the anger. I wrote her back, apologizing and asking if we could try again. It’s been two years now of emails and texts. Today, however, was the first time we’ve actually spoken since I left Russia,”  
Oliver finally finished, feeling completely drained. 

Between them, Grace let out a soft snore and rolled to her side to face her uncle. Oliver smiled softly, stroking a finger down her cheek.

“How did it go?” Felicity asked softly, bringing him back to their conversation.

“Surprisingly well,” he admitted. “The doctors have really been working with her and they think the emails and texts have helped clear some of the confusion in her mind. They are even thinking of coming to Starling for a visit. They haven’t seen Grace since she was a newborn and Thea took her to Russia.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“I think it’s great. Thea would love to see them and they should definitely spend some time with Grace,” Oliver deflected, but Felicity was having none of it.

“How do YOU feel about it, Oliver?” she insisted.

Closing his eyes with a sigh, Oliver took a minute to think about it before answering. “I feel a lot of things,” he confessed. “Hopeful. Terrified. Excited. Take your pick.”  
Felicity nodded, reaching over to stroke his cheek again. This time Oliver didn’t even try to stop himself from nuzzling into it a little.

“All of that seems about right,” she agreed. “You’re not alone, though. You know that right?”

“I know. I have Thea and Tommy and Laurel to help if it gets to be too much,” he replied.

“And me,” Felicity reminded him. “You have me. That’s what friends do, right?”

Oliver’s heart soared. “Yep,” he agreed in a choked voice. “That’s what friends do.”

Felicity smiled as she closed her eyes. They lay there in the shade, listening to the birds chirping and the quiet snores of the baby between them. It wasn’t until Grace woke them up an hour later with giggles and kisses that Oliver even realized he fallen asleep. It was the most content he’d felt in a long time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter talks about what happened to Felicity in her past. It's not pretty. Trigger warning for emotional abuse and other things.Check the tags. If I missed a tag, PLEASE let me know. I'm nervous about this one, so be kind,but I'd love to know what you think.

It took Felicity a few weeks to follow through on her promise to take Iris with her to see Dr. Snow. Between work and her thesis, she ‘d been limited to checking in with her therapist over phone calls and emails. Dr. Snow was willing to work with her, but was beginning to insist on a face-to-face meeting. She was thrilled to hear that Felicity was ready to share her story with Iris, slightly less so when she learned that Felicity wanted to include Oliver in the session as well.

Felicity, however, knew she needed to be honest with him. Since Grace’s birthday party, their relationship was different. It was better, deeper somehow. They spent so much time together that people were starting to talk. Tommy and Thea in particular seemed to have a lot to say on the matter, though Felicity did her best to ignore her friends’ knowing looks and pointed comments.

She knew it was kind of strange, how close they were becoming. Part of it was pure chemical attraction, at least on her part. Oliver never really gave any indication that he was still attracted to her and Felicity choose not to think about it. The other part was survivor recognizing survivor. Oliver had been open about his past, all the betrayal and pain. She knew there will still things he hadn’t told her, but she also knew that was not because he was hiding them. He was still healing, accepting the fact that he was worthy of feeling whole and happy. Oliver had chosen to trust her with his past and Felicity felt ready to share hers with him.

After a long discussion with Iris, they decided to ask Dr. Snow for a small group discussion with her. As the day approached, Felicity anticipated fear and nerves, but there were none. Instead she felt determination. She was ready to get it out. She was done letting her past dictate her future and maybe by saying it out loud it would lose its power over her.

When they were all seated in Dr. Snow’s office, however, the nerves appeared. Thea, sensing her friend’s distress, reached over and squeezed her hand. Felicity squeezed it back gratefully.

“Before we begin, I want to go over a few reminders,” Dr. Snow started. “Felicity has asked that you all be here today so she can talk about something that happened to her five years ago. While Felicity is talking I’m going to ask you not to interrupt. Save any questions for after she is finished. If, at any time, you cannot listen anymore, please just leave the room. Everyone understand?” she asked, scanning their faces, taking in the nods of assent. When she was satisfied that everyone was on board, she turned to Felicity and nodded.

Felicity took a deep breath and began. “I was in my first semester of my sophomore year at MIT. Things were going well. I had made some friends and was loving all my classes. Being younger and smarter than all your classmates in high school doesn’t exactly endear you to them so it was nice to have people who understood what I was talking about, who weren’t intimidated, you know?” Felicity asked rhetorically. “I met Jace at a coffee shop one day when I was studying. It was really busy that day and he asked to share my table. For a while he just sat there and read while I worked. I honestly forgot he was there. It wasn’t until I reached for my coffee and it was hot even though I hadn’t touched it over an hour. I took out my earbuds and he told me he had refilled it. After that I didn’t get much work done, we just spent the whole time talking.”

Felicity paused to take a sip of her water, keeping her eyes down. She didn’t think she’d be able to get through this if she looked at Oliver or Iris.

“Jace told me he was an engineering student at Boston University. He asked for my number before we left the coffee shop that day. He was handsome and nice and smart so I gave it to him. My roommate warned me that he would probably wait to call me for a few days, but he called the next morning and asked me to dinner. I was so excited. He was so different from any guy who’d ever been interested in me before. He was a little older, more mature and I couldn’t believe he liked me. Our first date was amazing. So was the second, and the third, and the fourth. Jace was charming and sweet and so attentive. He was always there when I was done with my classes. It was about six months in that things began to change. Jace was always really curious about my family. He encouraged me to talk about my mom and Joe all the time, always asking questions about how I grew up and even my father.”

Pausing to take another drink of water, Felicity chanced a glance at Thea who nodded reassuringly back.

“I answered his questions as best as I could, but I usually bypassed the ones about my dad. I’ve never liked to talk about him. When I tried to tell Jace that, it was the first time I saw him get angry. He blew up, yelling and calling me selfish and spoiled. I left during his tirade, afraid of his temper. The next day he showed up at my dorm, all apologies and flowers and I let it go. I didn’t realize I was setting up a pattern.” Felicity could feel the tension mounting in the room and she did her best to calm her racing heart. Taking a few deep breaths, she closed her eyes for a moment and concentrated on remembering that she was safe and whole.

“For the next few months,” Felicity continued. “The pattern continued. Things would be great for a while until something happened to set him off again. Usually it was something I did or something I wouldn’t do. After one particularly bad fight, I hopped on a flight and came home. I needed my mom. I poured my heart out and she helped me realize the abusive cycle I was in. She pointed out how he had managed to isolate me from my friends, how he controlled everything I did, from where I went and with whom, even what I wore or what color my hair was. When I went back to Boston I was ready to end it. What I didn’t realize, however, was that Jace had been playing a long game. When I got back to his place, where I was basically living at the time, he was waiting for me. The moment I walked in the door, he had a hand around my mouth and a knife to my side. He tied me to a chair and put a gag in my mouth. That’s when the truth came out.”

_“It’s about time you got back, bitch,” he snarled after he finished tying her to the chair. Felicity’s face was on fire from where he smacked her, the shock of it wearing off. Her wrists were tied behind her with her feet tied to the chair. Now that the shock was gone, fear rolled through her. What was he going to do to her?_

_“How dare you leave?” he said, his face twisted up in a sneer. She couldn’t see anything of the handsome, charming man she had fallen for in it. “Did you go running home to mommy? Tell her how mean I’ve been to you? Let me guess, she told you to leave me.” His voice dripped with condescension and Felicity tugged against her ties._

_Seeing her struggle, Jace stopped his pacing to crouch in front of her. “Don’t worry, angel,” he whispered, using his special nickname for her. “You’ll be free of me soon. All you have to do is tell me where your bitch mother hid the money?”_

_Stopping in her struggle at his words, Felicity stared at him in confusion. Money? What was he talking about? She shook her head, trying to tell him that she didn’t have any money._

_“Don’t shake your head at me,” Jace said menacingly. “I know she took it. Everyone knows she took it, but I’m the one who found you. Did you really think I liked you? Did you think I was in love?” he laughed humorlessly and Felicity felt her blood run cold. Tears fell from her eyes and Jace sighed at her. “Now, angel, I’m going to take this gag off so we can talk. If you scream, this knife will be buried in your gut, are we clear?”_

_Felicity nodded, trying to blink back the tears to no avail._

_“Good girl,” he murmured, reaching behind her head to loosed the gag._

_“Jace,” she sobbed. “I don’t have any money.”_

_“Don’t lie to me, Felicity.”_

_“I’m not,” she cried. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”_

_Jace sighed, “It’s going to be a long night,” he said as he put the gag back in her mouth before slicing across her ribs with the knife._

 

 

Phantom pain rolled through Felicity body as she remembered the way the knife had felt against her skin. She swore she could still feel the cool blade, could still smell the yeast odor of beer on Jace’s breath as he mocked her and cut her body, reminding her that he had never wanted to be with her, that he'd been disgusted every time he'd touched her. Felicity took several deep breaths and stared at the pattern of the rug under feet, using it to remind herself that she was safe and Jace couldn’t hurt her anymore. The others sat in silence until she was ready to begin again.

“It went on like that for two days. Over time I learned that my father had been on the mob’s payroll in Vegas. He was hacker for hire whom they used to dig up information on people, take down security systems, syphon money from their enemies. You name it, he did it if the price was right. According to Jace, my dad had been skimming money from the mob’s accounts, slowly, building himself a nice nest egg, but he’d been getting paranoid about getting caught so he’d cashed it all in and hid the money. It was around that time that my mom found out that dear old dad wasn’t the mild-mannered computer programmer that she thought he was. She called the FBI to turn him in, packed her and I up and left. According to Jace, my dad believed that mom had taken his cash before the FBI could find it. Apparently, Jace had shared a cell with my dad in prison before he turned evidence for the FBI and was placed in the witness protection program. Jace and my dad talked a lot in those few months they were cellmates about escaping and finding me and my mom.” Pausing for a breath,

Felicity risked a glance at Thea. Her friend's eyes were filled with unshed tears, but she still shot her a small smile, encouraging Felicity to get it all out, to finish it.

“It wasn’t true, though,” Felicity continued, the rest pouring out of her without pause. “My mom didn’t have any money, trust me, but Jace refused to believe me. Finally, after two days, the police showed up. My mom had gotten concerned when I hadn’t gotten in touch after returning to Boston and filed a missing person’s report. I don’t remember much about what happened next. I had lost a lot of blood and things were pretty blurry by this point. I remember the door bursting open and Jace being surprised, like he couldn’t believe anyone would miss me. I remember being in the hospital, mom and Joe showed up there. Mom wouldn’t stop crying and Joe looked ready to kill anyone who got near me. They brought me home after a few days.”

With strength she didn’t know she had, Felicity raised her head to look at her sister. Iris’ eyes were red with tears and she could see her sister shaking with the effort to control them. Her own tears began to fall as she opened her arms. Iris flew from her chair to the couch where Felicity was sitting, straight into her arms. The sisters held each other as they let the tears fall freely. With every sob, Felicity felt herself getting lighter. She hadn’t realized how much the burden of not telling her sister weighed her down. Stroking Iris’ hair, Felicity felt the other woman’s cries slow down.

“You can ask me questions now if you want,” she told her. Iris raised her head, wiping tears from her face.

“What happened to Jace?”

“He went to prison,“ Felicity told her. “He’s still there. Diggle keeps track of him for me.”

“Diggle knows?” Iris asked, surprised. Felicity shook her head.

“Not the details. Joe only told him that someone hurt me and who. Dig has respected my privacy enough to not look at the case file. He just gets a report from the prison once a month.”

“Did you ever ask Donna about the money Jace was talking about?” Iris asked next.

“I never got the chance,” Felicity explained, regret filling her voice. “I was such a mess after I could barely function. You have to remember some of that.”

Iris nodded, smiling gratefully at Dr. Snow as the other woman handed her a box of tissues.

“Dad wouldn’t tell me anything except that you had gotten hurt and needed some peace and quiet to get better.” Felicity pushed back the pain of those first few weeks. The physical wounds had been troubling, but not nearly as much as the psychological ones. She could still remember laying on her bed, replaying every moment in her relationship with Jace, over and over, on a continuous loop, trying to figure out how she could have been so stupid. “I couldn’t talk about it, Iris,” Felicity told her, wiping away her own tears. “I couldn’t hardly speak at all. Every time I tried to open my mouth, nothing would come out. It took a while with Dr. Snow to get me to the point where I could talk. Then mom and Joe died. There was no chance to talk to her about it.”

Felicity looked up in surprise when Oliver shot to his feet and walked out. Crushing disappointment washed over her as he left the room. She shouldn’t have told him; he’d pity her now, look at her differently.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” Thea admonished. “I watched Oliver the entire time you were talking and he was barely hanging on. I know Oliver and right now he is barely resisting the urge to hunt Jace down and kill him. He just needs a minute. I’ll go talk to him.”

“No, wait,” Iris spoke up. “Let me go, please.” Felicity stared at her sister, stunned. “I have some things I need to say to him,” Iris continued.

“Iris, now is not the time,” Felicity began, but Iris cut her off.

“Just, let me go. Please,” Iris insisted, her eyes pleading.

Felicity nodded reluctantly, unsure of her sister’s reasoning, but trusting her all the same.

Outside, Oliver paced the alley next to Dr. Snow’s office like a caged tiger. He needed something to hit, someone to hurt. He had to do something, dammit! He knew it was going to be bad, listening to whatever Felicity wanted to tell him, but he never would have thought that she had gone through something so violent. So brutal. He wanted to tear the world apart until he found all the people who hurt and hurt them back. The rage poured through him. Rather than fight it, Oliver embraced the fury. He let himself think of all the things he would do to Jace if he was there right now. All the ways he would make him pay for hurting Felicity.

Still pacing, lost in his violent fantasies, he failed to hear Iris coming into the alley until she was calling his name. He whirled around, his face doing nothing to conceal his anger. Iris took a step back at the look in his eyes, fear showing in her own. Knowing the woman in front of him was struggling as well with the same knowledge, Oliver took a moment calm the rage before he addressed her.

“I’m sorry, Iris,” he began once he gained control over his voice. “I know I shouldn’t have left, but I had to get out for a minute.”

“I get it,” she said, surprising him. “That was…. hard to hear.”

Oliver clenched his jaw and nodded, not trusting himself to speak anymore.

“Here’s the thing, Oliver,” Iris began and Oliver braced himself. “I haven’t been a fan of your friendship with my sister. You treated her like shit and I have no idea how she can trust you.”

Her words were not exactly a surprise, but Oliver felt the sting all the same.

“I know I screwed up, but.”

“Let me finish,” Iris interrupted.

He nodded, willing to let her say her peace.

“I don’t like it, but even I can see that you and Felicity have something. A chemistry that you don’t often see. Something that keeps drawing you back to each other.” Oliver remained silent when Iris paused, curious as to where she was going with this. “I don’t know what happened to you, Oliver. I know it must have been something awful, something traumatic based solely on the clues of how Felicity and Thea met and things that have been said over the years. I don’t know what happened to you or Thea or Tommy, but if it’s half as awful as what Felicity just talked about, I am so sorry,” she looked him straight in the eye, making it clear that this was her olive branch to him.

Emotion took over him once again, but the anger and rage was replaced with amazement and gratitude. This young woman in front of him had every reason to hate him and do her best to sabotage his friendship with her sister. Instead, she stood in there, eyes still red and swollen from the tears she’d shed inside, offering him her support and tentative understanding.

Unable to stop himself, Oliver reached out and pulled her in for a quick hug. Iris gave a small eep of surprise before hugging him back.

Stepping back, Iris said, “To be clear, that was not me apologizing for hating you recently.”

Oliver huffed out a laugh, “I understand, Iris. And I don’t blame you. I’m trying to be better, though. Felicity makes me want to be better.”

Iris tilted her head and squinted her eyes at him, a move that was so much like Felicity that he couldn’t help but smile. “I believe you,” she said finally, much to his relief. “I also believe that she needs you as much as you need her. Otherwise she would have never let you hear any of that and right now she needs you to come back inside and show her that you don’t pity her or see her any differently than you did an hour ago.”

Shocked by her words, Oliver blurted out, “Pity her? I don’t pity her. I HATE that she went through that. I want to KILL the man who hurt her, but I don’t pity her. I am in awe of her strength.”

Giving him a small smile, Iris said, “Don’t tell me. Tell her.”

Felicity heard the door open and paused in the middle of her conversation with Thea and Dr. Snow. Iris and Oliver entered the room with Oliver staring at her. She couldn’t read the look in his eyes.

“No blood. That’s a good sign,” she joked.

Iris rolled her eyes in response and Felicity felt a smile tug at her lips at such a normal response.

“Oliver and I came to an understanding,” Iris informed them.

Felicity raised her eyebrows and looked between the two of them. They certainly seemed more relaxed around each other. Suddenly, Oliver was sitting next to her on the couch. Picking up her hands and placing them in his own, he started rubbing small circles into the backs of them with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry I walked out,” he apologized softly. “I needed some air.”

“I get it. It’s a lot to take in,” Felicity said, her eyes avoiding his

. “Felicity,” he said. “I am in awe of you.” Raising her head in confusion, she searched his face and saw no pity, no disgust. Just admiration and something else she was afraid to define.

“Awe?” she choked out.

Oliver nodded before continuing,“Instead of letting your experiences break you down, you chose to keep yourself open. I have no clue how you found the strength to heal from that, let alone raise your sister after your parents’ deaths. I am amazed at your courage, Felicity, and I have never felt more proud to be your friend,” his voice cracked at the end, betraying the depth of his emotion.

Tugging her hands out of his, Felicity reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. Oliver didn’t hesitate, banding his arms around her waist and holding so tight. Several minutes passed and they didn’t move, just breathing in the other’s presence. Reluctantly, Felicity leaned back out of his embrace and looked into his eyes. She didn’t say a word, but she knew he could read the thank you in her eyes.

“Anyone else starving?” Thea asked, causing everyone to turn to her in disbelief. “What? Crying makes me hungry!”

Laughter bubbled out of Felicity before she even knew what was happening. Oliver and Iris quickly followed suit. It felt so good to laugh instead of cry.

Dr. Snow looked on with amusement, shaking her head a little. “Good news then,” she said when the laughter began to die down. “We are done for the day here so you can all go get something to eat.”

“Yay!” Thea cheered.

“Felicity,” Dr. Snow said, her voice turning serious. “Bringing all of this back up again could cause the nightmares to return. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need.” Felicity nodded. “I know. I will.”

“Good. Now go eat something. I can hear all of your stomachs grumbling from here,” the doctor said as she led them out the door.

“Where should we go?” Iris asked as they exited the building. Three pairs of eyes turned to her and Felicity smiled, happy in the fact that the ugly truth of her past hadn’t affected her relationships with those she cared about.

“Big Belly Burger?” she suggested. Nodding in agreement, the group headed down the street. Felicity felt Oliver’s hand slip into hers and she smiled up at him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! The last couple of chapter were pretty angsty so it's time to lighten things a little. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this and comment or leave kudos! I truly appreciate it. Feel free to let me know what you think with a comment on this or come find me on at lynslogic. Thanks for reading!!!

“So,” Oliver panted out. “Why yoga?”

Felicity smiled from her position next to him. When Oliver had asked her to teach him yoga, she’s been surprised. Oliver, however, was determined and she had been able to accelerate him through the easier sequences to move on to more advanced ones. What he lacked in flexibility, he certainly made up for in stubbornness. 

Seamlessly moving into the next pose, Felicity kept an eye on Oliver as he followed, doing her best to ignore the way his muscles rippled when he moved. Tearing her eyes away, Felicity focused on feeling her breath fill her lungs as her muscles stretched.

“When I was in high school,” she began softly. “My mom encouraged me to start yoga. My brain is constantly going, so fast that it’s hard to keep up. The thoughts and ideas just churn all the time and mom was worried I was going to burn myself out. She wanted me to have a way to shut it all off when I needed.” 

With careful precision, Felicity moved to the floor and into a pigeon pose, smiling when she heard Oliver sigh beside her. He hated the pigeon pose. His lower back was always so tight that he struggled and there was little Oliver hated more than struggling with something.

When she heard him settle in, Felicity continued. “I fought it at first, arguing that I had much better things to do with my time than stretch. I kept at it though and slowly I began to realize she was right. Once I gave in to it, yoga became my escape. The only way I could shut my brain down and just be.”

They continued in silence for a while. This was what she had grown to love about these sessions with Oliver. They could talk about anything or nothing. They just existed together. Over the past few weeks they had covered a wide range of topics from his parents’ upcoming visit to her love and devotion to all things Doctor Who. 

“After I got out of the hospital, during those weeks when I couldn’t even speak, mom would take me to her yoga class,” Felicity continued after they had begun their cool down. “We never talked about it, she would just tell me to get ready and we’d go. Those classes helped me find some normalcy again. I could shut it all out for a while and connect with myself again. After Mom and Joe died, I needed to find a way to support Iris and myself. There was some insurance money, but it only covered so much.”  
Oliver forgot about his poses as he listened to Felicity. Every day he became more and more in awe of this woman. She was so beautiful it took his breath away, but more than that she was fierce and strong and amazing.

“I found the job at the bookstore fairly quickly which was a blessing, but I knew we needed more. I had been taking a self-defense class from Sarah and she suggested I get certified to teach yoga. Turns out I love teaching it more than I could have ever anticipated.” Felicity grinned at him and he felt his own mouth turn up in response. 

Felicity stood to roll up her mat with Oliver following suite. They had pushed back all the furniture in the living room of his apartment for their yoga session and Oliver found himself hoping he could convince her to stay for dinner. 

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” he asked, tried to sound casual. The truth was he greedy when it came to his time with her. He wanted as much as she would give him. 

Felicity smiled, “Aren’t you sick of me yet? Between story time at the bookstore, coffee at Jitters and yoga here, I’ve practically seen you every day this week.”

“I could never be sick of you, Felicity,” he answered truthfully. He could see her trying to decide, weighing the pros and cons as if she didn’t really believe that he wanted her to stay. “I can make spaghetti carbonara.”  
Her face lit up like he knew it would. Felicity’s love of pasta covered in a cheesy cream sauce never failed to amuse him.

“Well, if that’s the case,” she said with a huge smile. “I’m going to go change.”

Grabbing her workout bag, Felicity headed toward the bathroom. Oliver grinned as he turned toward the kitchen. On the way there he realized Felicity had left her phone on the counter, still playing the music she had used for yoga. As much as Oliver, surprisingly, enjoy the chimes and gongs during the sessions, he was ready for something else now.

“Felicity?” he called out.

“Yeah?” came the muffled reply from behind the bathroom door.

“Do you mind if I change the music on your phone?” he asked.

“Sure. I have a bunch of playlists on there. Pick whatever. My passcode is7690,” she called back to him.  
Entering her passcode, Oliver swiped through her playlists until he found one called Slow Jamz. Smiling, he hit play and went to put it back on the dock when the phone buzzed in his hand. The screen showed a text from Ray and Oliver felt his stomach clench. Unless Felicity knew two Rays, the same man from a few weeks ago was texting again. 

Averting his eyes before he could read the text, Oliver put it back on the docking station and moved to the kitchen. Felicity had never told him what the earlier texts from Ray were about and he was determined not to bring them up. She didn’t owe him any explanations.

He quickly fell into the soothing rhythm of cooking, putting the water on the boil and pulling the bacon from the fridge to dice. While the yoga was great, Oliver felt like the kitchen was where he found his peace. 

“That smells amazing.” 

Oliver lifted his head to see Felicity entering the kitchen. To his relief and disappointment, she had exchanged her tight yoga clothes for a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair was free from its ponytail and he could see she’d washed her face. The familiar feeling of longing rolled over him in waves. He didn’t try to fight it. 

“Bacon always smells amazing,” Oliver replied with a small smile.

Felicity nodded in response. “True.” 

“Your phone buzzed when I was putting back,” he told her as he scooped the bacon out of the pan onto a paper towel to drain. 

Retrieving her phone from the dock, Oliver could feel her tension rising as she read the text. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from asking her about it.

“Did you read it?” Felicity asked, her voice small. 

“No,” Oliver answered before looking up from the parmesan he was grating to see Felicity had gone completely pale. He dropped the cheese instantly and moved to her. Placing his hands in her shoulders, Oliver bent his knees a little so her could look her in the eyes.

“Felicity,” he said gently. “What’s wrong?”

“The text was from Ray,” she replied. Oliver nodded even though he still didn’t understand. “Ray is my thesis advisor.”

Relief washed over him before he could tamp it down. He had no right to feel relieved that this other man was texting for non-personal reasons, but he couldn’t seem to stop it. 

“Is there something wrong with your thesis?” Oliver prompted. He knew how hard she’s been working on the project and he didn’t want to think there could be a problem.

Felicity shook her head. “No. The committee approved it.”

“Felicity, that’s great! We should celebrate,” he said, dropping his hands from her shoulders thinking of the bottle of red he had in his cabinet. Felicity grabbed his hand and stopped him before he could move away.

“It is great,” she agreed. “But there’s a problem. I have to defend it.”

Oliver nodded. He didn’t have a Master’s Degree, but he was familiar with the process. 

“In person. I have to defend my thesis in person. At MIT, Oliver.” Felicity’s eyes grew wider with each word. Suddenly the implication of what she was saying became clear.

“You have to go to Boston.”

“I have to go to Boston,” she confirmed. 

“Have you been back since…?” Felicity shook her head and Oliver’s blood ran cold. 

“There has to be another way,” he insisted. “Skype. WebEx. Something.”

“Ray’s already tried. The committee won’t budge. They want to see me in person.” Felicity moved to a stool at the kitchen island and sat down heavily. “They feel as though the school has already made too many exceptions for me.”

Heading to his liquor cabinet, Oliver removed the bottle of red. Pouring a healthy portion into a glass, he slid it toward Felicity. She shot a look of gratitude before taking a big swallow.

“What do you mean, exceptions?” Oliver asked after she had some wine running through her veins.

“After I left MIT, I lost all my scholarships and funding, but because I had no intention of ever going back to Boston it didn’t really matter,” Felicity began. 

Returning to his cheese, Oliver resumed his preparations for their dinner, Oliver nodded but kept his mouth shut.

“Then one day, I get a phone call from Ray Palmer. He tells me that he is a professor at MIT and he came across some research I had been working on. He was really impressed and asked if I would consider coming back. I explained that I had to stay here and take care of my sister. I didn’t want to explain what had happened with Jace. Ray was…persistent, though. We started emailing and talking a lot. Finally, one day he tells me that he has convinced MIT to let me take all my classes online and to partially reinstate my scholarship.” 

“Wow,” Oliver said, unsure of how to respond. “Sounds like this Palmer guy really believes in you.”

“Ray’s been great,” she agreed. “He’s absolutely brilliant so having him take me on has been amazing.”

Felicity went silent as Oliver finished up their dinner. Dishing up the pasta, Oliver set a plate in front of her. 

“What do you want to do, Felicity?” he finally asked, unable to bear the silence anymore. 

Felicity twirled some noodles onto her fork and took a big bite before answering. “I want to stay home. I think I need to go to Boston. Not just for my thesis, but for me.”

Covering her hand with his, Oliver squeezed it gently. “You’re incredible. You can do this.”

She shot him a grateful smile briefly before it fell from her face. She pulled her hand from his and concentrated on the food in front of her. Oliver was confused at the sudden change. That’s when he noticed her leg bouncing on the stool.

“What is it?” he asked. “What else is wrong?”

“Nothing,” she replied too quickly. “I mean nothing else is wrong. Just the usual. Going to Boston. Alone. Maybe. Maybe you, no, I mean not you. I can go alone.”

“Felicity,” he interrupted gently, placing his hand back over hers. “What are you trying to say?”

Blue eyes closed behind her glasses, Felicity took a breath before saying, “I’m trying to ask if you would come to Boston with me.” 

Oliver was stunned. 

“You don’t have to!” she blurted out. “Never mind. It was stupid. I shouldn’t have asked. Of course you wouldn’t want to go. Why would you? I should go.” Felicity hopped off the stool and headed toward the living room for her bag.

Oliver shook off his shock and followed behind her, grabbing her elbow and guiding her to the couch. He sat down and gently tugged her next to him. He waited for her to look at him, but Felicity was sitting stiffly staring at her hands.

“Hey,” he said gently, reaching up to cup her cheek with his palm. She lifted her eyes to look at him and he could see the uncertainty and fear in them. “I never said I didn’t want to go with you. I was just shocked you asked.”

“Why so surprised?” she whispered. “You’re one of my best friends, Oliver.” 

Oliver couldn’t help the grin that broke out over his face. “You’re one of my best friends too. But I thought you’d want to take Thea or Iris.”

“Thea has Grace and Roy.”

“And she would leave them behind for a week if you asked,” Oliver pointed out.

“I know, but I don’t want her to. She needs to be here. So does Iris. Besides, for whatever reason, I don’t want them. I feel like this is something only you can help me with, Oliver.” 

He was speechless. Her absolute trust in him, even though he didn’t deserve it, left him a little dumbfounded.

“I will happily go with you,” he finally got out. “Can I ask a favor though?”

“As opposed to the huge one I’m asking you?” she laughed. “I think I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” he said firmly. “But I would like to take the Queen jet for the trip.”

“But...” Oliver held up a hand to cut off her protest.

“Just hear me out,” he requested. Felicity bit her lip and nodded. Oliver barely held back a groan at the sight. “Taking the Queen jet would allow us more flexibility. If, for whatever reason, you can’t stay there anymore we won’t have to wait for a commercial flight. We can just leave.”

Tilting her head to the side with her lips pursed, Felicity stared at him. “That’s a good point, but I get the feeling you have another reason.”

Huffing out a laugh, Oliver shook his head. “How do you do that?” he asked incredulously. “No one else can read me the way you do.”

Felicity smiled, “Easy. Because you let me.”

Blinking, Oliver realized she was right. He still tried to be certain things to everyone else. CEO at Queen Consolidated. Best friend with Tommy, big brother with Thea, but with Felicity he was just…Oliver. 

“You’re right,” he admitted. Felicity raised her eyebrows as if to say I told you so. “I do have another reason, but I know you won’t like it.”

Confusion clouded her face when Oliver stood and pulled her up with him. “Come on. Let’s go eat and talk about it. The food is getting cold.”

Following him back to the table, Felicity tried to calm the anxiety in her stomach. He’d looked so confused when she’d asked him to go to Boston with her that the sting of rejection had taken over instantly. Her first instinct was to flee, but she was grateful Oliver hadn’t let her. 

Without understanding why, she knew she needed Oliver to go with her. He was right, Thea, Iris or even Tommy would drop everything to go with her, but somehow this felt like a journey she needed to do with Oliver as her companion. She’d have to think on that later.

Sitting back on her stool, she scooped up another bite of the creamy pasta barely resisting the urge to moan as the flavors burst over her tongue. Oliver definitely had a gift in the kitchen. After several bites she raised her eyes to his to see him watching her eat with obvious delight. 

Felicity rolled her eyes at him. “Yes. It’s incredible,” she told him impatiently. “Can we go back to your reasons for wanting to take the Queen jet to Boston?”

Oliver took a sip of wine before he began talking. “The main reason is what I said already. I want you to have an easy way to leave.”

“Okay,” she agreed. “And….”

Oliver sighed. “And I know how much you work and how tight money is for you and Iris and I want to make things easier for you.”

Felicity closed her eyes. She’d thought it was going to be something like that. “Oliver, I’m not…”

“Can I get this all out before you argue with me?” he asked, cutting her off. Felicity narrowed her eyes at the arguing comment, but nodded for him to continue. “You’re going to have to take time off of work to go. All three jobs and I know that’s going to cause stress for you and Iris. The last thing you need going into this is more stress. If I can relieve some of the worry by using the Queen jet and paying for the hotel room, that’s what I want to do.”

“Oh now you’re paying for the hotel too?” she asked trying to hide her embarrassment. 

“If you’ll let me,” he agreed softly. “Felicity, listen. I know we’ve never talked about it, but I have money. A lot of it. Tommy, Thea and I all grew up with obscene amounts of money surrounding us and after the boat we all made decisions to walk away from the excess if our childhoods. It’s still there though. Yes, all three of us work to make our own ways, but we know it’s there if needed.”

Felicity watched as Oliver twirled his fork in his pasta over and over, but never scooping it up. The fact that he was feeling uncomfortable about this conversation somehow relaxed her.

“I never really think about it,” she told him. “The Queen money, the Merlyn money. You guys are just my friends.”

“And you have no idea how grateful I am for that. Most of my life I’ve spent questioning who was really my friend and who just wanted something from me. I have never questioned that from you.”

Felicity slid her hand across the counter and grasped his hand. Squeezing it she said, “You’ll never have to. All I want from you is for you to be you, Oliver.”

Oliver ducked his head, trying to hide the blush heating up his cheeks. “I know. Thank you.”

Giving his hand one last squeeze, Felicity pulled her hand away and started eating again. Her obvious enjoyment of his cooking made him irrationally happy.

“Here’s the thing, Felicity,” he continued wanting to get this all out. “Because I do have money, it’s really hard for me to see you struggling.”

“Iris and I are fine, Oliver,” she argued. “It’s not as if we are destitute. We have the house, food on the table and I’m able to help pay for her schooling so she won’t be drowning in debt when she’s done.”

“I know,” Oliver agreed. “But it kills me that you have to work three jobs on top of your schoolwork to make all that happen. I know you’re more than capable of handling it all and I know you would never accept help, but Felicity it takes some serious self-control to keep from swooping in and just paying off everything for you.”

Felicity stared at him. She had no idea he felt that way. 

“I’ve even thought about anonymously paying off your and Iris’ school loans, but I figured you would be too suspicious. You’d probably hack the school records to see who did it.”

Felicity laughed. “Hacking is such an ugly word,” she teased. “And you talk about me knowing you.”

Oliver smirked briefly before turning serious again. “Please let me do this, Felicity. I want to help make the trip as easy as possible. Think of it as a late Hanukah present if it helps.”

Felicity stared at him for a moment before finally answering, “Okay.”

Oliver was shocked. “Okay? You’ll let me take care of the trip?” He’d really been expecting her to fight him on this.

“Yes,” she replied simply. “I would appreciate having less to worry about.” Felicity almost burst out laughing at the look of shock on his face. “I also appreciate you asking me instead of just swooping in and doing it so I will agree on the condition that you don’t go overboard with the hotel. We don’t need anything extravagant.”

Oliver nodded in agreement. “Thank you. When do we leave?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Thank you so much for your patience! I really appreciate all the comments from the last chapter. You are all so very sweet!!  
> We're off to Boston in this one! I hope you like it! Let me know what you think!!! I love comments or messages over on tumblr!
> 
> Thank you to Zee and Megan for their help on this chapter!

Felicity stared out the window as the plane made its way across the country. They were high above the clouds a couple of hours into the trip and with every mile, her anxiety grew. By the time they got there, Felicity was afraid she was going to be a wreck. 

She glanced up to see Oliver working diligently on his laptop and guilt washed over her. What was she thinking asking him to come with her? He had a whole company to run and here she was taking him away from it to babysit her. 

“I can hear you thinking from over here.”

Felicity smiled. Of course he was aware of her inner struggle. Somehow, he always seemed to know what she was thinking. 

“I’m beating myself up for tearing you away from the company to come with me,” she admitted.

Oliver looked up from his computer in surprise. “You think I’d rather be working?”

He closed his laptop and stood up to walk to her. The couch she was on was small, which meant Oliver was pressed right up next to her when he sat down. 

“Do you really think I’d rather be sitting in yet another meeting that could have been an email when I could be here with you?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Maybe?” she hedged. “It’s not as if this is a pleasure trip, Oliver. I have to defend my thesis in the city of my worst nightmare.”

Reaching out, Oliver pulled her into him, tucking her head in the crook of his neck. Felicity took a deep breath, letting the familiar smell of him calm her. “I don’t care where we are, Felicity, as long as I’m with you, I will be happy.”

Her breath caught in her throat at his soft words. Most of the time Felicity was sure she was alone in her feelings for him, that she was the only one in this friendship who was secretly falling in love with the other one. Then he would say things like that and she would start to question whether or not she was truly the only one who felt it. 

“As for the other part,” he continued, unaware of the effect his words had on her. “We’ve gone over the plan, remember? Places you think will be okay, places to avoid. We can leave at any time. Just say the word and we are back on this plane in less than an hour.”

Nodding into his shoulder, Felicity let Oliver’s voice soothe her. He was right. She, Dr. Snow and Oliver had gone over everything they could think of to make this as easy as possible. Felicity knew the possibility of a flashback or panic attack was high, but surprisingly, knowing it was almost inevitable made it easier. The ones she sees coming were better than the ones that snuck up her.

“Do you think you could sleep?” he asked softly, stroking her hair. When Felicity shook her head, Oliver laid down on the couch keeping her tucked into him as he did. When they were completely prone, he said, “Tell me a favorite memory from Boston.” 

Pausing before she spoke, Felicity took a moment to savor the feeling of Oliver lying beneath her. It felt so right that she had to mentally shake herself before speaking. 

“The first one that stands out would probably be the first time it snowed,” she began, her voice barely above a whisper as she spoke into Oliver’s throat. “It had been cold for weeks, but it hadn’t snowed yet and I was getting pretty pissy about it.”

She felt his chest rumble with a quiet laugh and she smiled in return. “Then one morning I had to get up early for class. I knew it was going to be cold again so I bundled up and headed out. When I stepped outside, everything was white. It was like a postcard. I had never seen anything like it before. I just stood there for a long time, staring at everything, trying to memorize it all. I almost missed my class I was so distracted.”

Oliver’s hand stroked up and down her back soothingly as she recalled the way she’d fallen three times on the way to class that day. How she started her very first snowball fight ever with her econ professor that afternoon. He kept his hand moving as he listened to her voice start to fade away. As she slipped into sleep, Oliver wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in just a little bit tighter and let himself drift off as well. 

 

“Mr. Queen,” the soft voice said. Oliver opened his eyes slowly to see the flight attendant hovering over him. “We’ll be landing soon. I need you and Miss Smoak to strap in.”

“Thank you, Maggie,” he said, his voice rough with sleep. “I’ll wake her up.”

Maggie shot him a small smile before walking away. Tilting his head, Oliver took in the sight of Felicity asleep on his chest. Her glasses were missing and he could only assume Maggie had removed them for her. He made a note to give the woman a bonus for her consideration. 

“Felicity,” he whispered, not wanting to shock her. “Felicity, wake up.”

With a grumble, Felicity shook her head and cuddled in even closer to him, which considering the fact that she was already completely wrapped around him, was quite a fear. Oliver was forced to close his eyes against the pure joy of holding her like this. It was even better than he’d dreamed and he found himself never wanting to let go.

Lifting a hand, he gently brushed a few strands of hair off her face. “Felicity,” he tried again. “Hey, we’re almost there. You have to wake up.”

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and stared at him. He could see the vestiges of sleep in them as she blinked at him and Oliver was struck by the desire to see her like this every morning, soft and warm, leaning over to kiss him good morning. 

“Oliver?” she said sleepily. “What happened?”  
“We fell asleep,” he told her biting bite a protest when she leaned up and away from him. “We’re about to land in Boston.”

With a nod, Felicity sat up and stretched. Oliver forced himself to look away from the way her body was bowed back, knowing he was clinging to his self-control as it was. Glancing around, he spied her glasses sitting on the table next to the couch. Handing them to her, Oliver stood and made his way to his original seat and strapped in, Felicity following to the seat next to his.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep,” she admitted as she fastened her seat belt. 

“I’m happy you did. You looked like you needed it,” Oliver told her.

Felicity leveled him with a glare. “Is that your way of telling me I looked tired, Oliver? Because telling someone they looked tired is just code for you look like shit.”

Oliver huffed out a small laugh. “Yes, you looked tired,” he said, then continued quickly when she started to protest. “But, there’s no a force on this planet that could make you look like shit, Felicity. You are always beautiful.” 

Felicity opened her mouth, but no words came out. Apparently he had shocked her into silence and he had to bite his lip to keep from grinning at her. Luckily he was saved by the plane beginning its descent. Trepidation filled her stomach as the familiar skyline came into view. Oliver’s hand slid wordlessly into hers as if he could read her thoughts. She squeezed his hand without looking at him, feeling him squeeze back gently. It was going to be okay.

 

“Oliver, I thought I said not to go crazy with the hotel,” Felicity protested after the bell hop left, pockets heavier with a generous tip.

Oliver furrowed his brows at her. “I didn’t.” 

“You call this not going overboard?” she asked sweeping her arm across to indicate the spacious living room of their suite. The windows were open to reveal a spectacular view of the city.  
She could even see a small terrace outside the sliding glass door.

“It’s not even the penthouse,” Oliver protested.

Felicity started to laugh until she saw his face. “Oh my god, you’re serious.”

Ducking his head to hide the small flush creeping up his neck. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “If this is too much, we can leave. I just thought it might be better if we shared a suite. That way if you need me, I’m right here.”

Seriously? Could he be more adorable? she thought. Putting aside the fact that he had no concept of money and the limits other people might have, she was so touched that he had thought about her comfort so seriously.

Sensing her hesitance, Oliver shrugged off his leather jacket and grabbed her hand. “Let’s look around and if you’re still uncomfortable, I’ll get a different room or we’ll go somewhere else.”

She allowed herself to be tugged further into the room. Unlike most high-end hotels she’d ever seen in pictures, this one was actually somewhat cozy in its décor. A deep, comfy looking couch layered with throw pillows faces a cabinet she assumed held a TV. There was a small kitchen in the corner complete with a stove, microwave and fridge. Next to it was a small bathroom. 

“Look,” Oliver pointed out. “Two bedrooms so you can have privacy, though it looks like we have to share a bathroom.”

Trailing her hand over the lush fabric of the bedspread, Felicity headed toward the bathroom. She flipped the light on as she entered and gasped. Directly in the middle on a raised platform was the largest tub she had ever seen. It looked like it could fit at least six people. She barely even noticed the glass shower in the corner of the rich marble covering every surface.

“Should I find a different hotel?” Oliver asked from behind her, amusement apparent in his voice.

“I know you’re teasing me, but I don’t care,” she told him without turning around. “I could live in here! I should tell you it’s too much, but the tub sold me. We can stay.” 

Felicity finally turned to see him grinning widely at her. “Well, why don’t you try out the tub and then we can order some dinner?” he suggested.

“You don’t want to go out?” Felicity asked, surprised.

Oliver shook his head. “We can if you want,” he offered. “I just thought you might prefer to settle in. Keep it low-key. We can go out of if you want, though.”

“No!” Felicity cried. “No, staying in would be nice.”

“Great,” he responded. “Your bags are in the room already. I’ll just go get some work done while you relax.”

Hurrying to her room, Felicity quickly located the things she would need and headed back to the bathroom. She found a bottle of lavender bubble bath sitting on the ledge and wondered if Oliver had requested it or if the hotel simply supplied things like that. Deciding she didn’t care either way, she poured a generous helping into the running water and put up her hair. After stripping she sank into the blissfully hot water and moaned at how good it felt. Yep, she lived here now. Never coming out.

 

Out in the living area, Oliver was doing his best to ignore the mental image of Felicity in that tub. When he’d asked his assistant to book the hotel, he’d know that Felicity would be hesitant, but he’d been unable to resist the little splurge. Seeing her face when they’d walked into the bathroom, he knew she was sold. What he didn’t know is how much he would want to be in that tub with her. It was more than big enough for the both of them and he could vividly picture sitting in it, Felicity back to his front as he washed her hair.

Adjusting his pants at the sudden tightness, Oliver grabbed his laptop, determined to at least answer some emails. Ten minutes later, he shut the laptop in frustration. It was no use. There was no way he could concentrate on work knowing Felicity was naked in the next room. Moving from the table to the living area, he opened the cabinet that held a large screen TV and grabbed the remote. Flipping through the channels, he soon found a baseball game and hoped it would be enough to distract him. 

It was twenty more minutes before Felicity emerged from the bathroom, skin all pink and flushed from the hot water, she was wrapped in a thigh length silk robe and Oliver swallowed hard at the expanse of leg showing. God, what is wrong with me? he thought to himself. It’s not like he hadn’t seen her legs before. 

“So, I changed my mind,” she announced and Oliver instantly felt on edge. Did she hate the room? Should he leave? “Whoa, I can see your brain spinning. I just meant about staying in. How do you feel about Vietnamese food?”

 

An hour later, Felicity sat back in her chair and sighed. “I should be embarrassed about the amount of food I just ate, but I’m too full to care.”

Oliver laughed, “It was definitely impressive, but nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Smiling, Felicity took a moment to look around. Saigon Hut looked pretty much like she remembered it. “Thank you for coming here with me,” she said to Oliver. “I know it’s a step or two down from your normal dining.”

“Good food is good food,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t need five-star restaurants, you know that.”

She nodded, “I do know that.”

“So what made you change your mind about going out?” he asked lightly.

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I was lying there in that incredible tub and I realized that I didn’t want to be afraid. I loved this city at one point and he took that away from me. I guess I just wanted to start to take it back.”

Oliver beamed at her and Felicity had to look away from him. His face was handsome enough, but lit up with that incredible smile? She was powerless against it. 

“I think that’s great, Felicity,” he said softly as he reached for her hand. “Did you want to go anywhere else?”

She shook her head and squeezed his hand back. “No, I think I’ve done enough for tonight. Besides I’m not sure I can walk after all that Pho.”

“Why don’t you sit there and digest for a few more minutes?” he suggested, pushing his chair back to stand. “I’ll go take care of the bill and call our driver around.”

Felicity nodded and watched him go with a small sigh of relief, grateful for a little space. She hadn’t lied when she’d said that she wanted to reclaim Boston for herself, but that wasn’t her only motivation for the trip to Saigon Hut. Ever since she’d woken in his arms on the plane she couldn’t shake this feeling of intimacy surrounding them. Then there was the shared suite. While she’d been in the bath, all she could think about was the fact that Oliver was right outside the door, waiting for her.  
The image of the two of them eating dinner in that beautiful room, watching a movie together had suddenly seemed so perfect. She could see herself leaning into him, laying her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. Longing had filled her at the thought and she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle just being in that room with him all night. Not if she didn’t want to ruin their friendship and she absolutely did not. She couldn’t imagine not having him in her life and if that meant she had to constantly fight back the fact that she wanted to climb him like a tree… well, she could do that. 

“Ready?” 

Felicity jumped at little and looked up to see Oliver smiling down at her. “Yep. Let’s go,” she replied placing her hand in his outstretched one. 

 

After a restless, yet thankfully dreamless sleep, Felicity rose early to get ready. Walking out to the living area, she was surprised to see Oliver already up and reading the newspaper, looking better than any human being had a right to at 7am. He was wearing black sweats and a white t-shirt, his hair still mussed from his pillow. He looked soft and still a little sleepy and Felicity had the overwhelming urge to crawl into his lap. 

Fighting back the instinct, she instead mumbled a good morning. Oliver put down the paper and looked up at her. “Good morning,” he said, his voice still a little rough from sleep. 

“There’s coffee.” 

Smiling gratefully, she headed toward the table and sat down across from him. She poured herself some coffee, sipping with a happy sigh, before she reached for a croissant. “Have you been up long?” she asked around a piece of pastry.

He shook his head, “No, which is surprising. I’m usually up by 5 most days?”

“Voluntarily?” she asked, horrified.

“Yes, voluntarily,” he said with a small laugh. “I usually run in the mornings.”

“Masochist,” she muttered to herself only to have him hear her anyway.

“Okay sleepyhead,” he teased, ducking when she threw a piece of croissant at him. “What’s the plan for today?”

“I have a 9am meeting with Ray to go over my talking points, then I have my presentation at 11,” she recited even though they had gone over the schedule multiple times. She knew Oliver wanted to be prepared. “My presentation will last twenty minutes and then there will be a Q & A from the committee.”

“Do Ray or the committee know why you left school?”

Felicity shook her head. “Not in detail. I told Ray I had a traumatic experience and shortly after my parents died, leaving me to take care of my sister. As far as I know, that’s what the committee knows.” Standing, she grabbed her coffee. “I’m going to go shower and start getting ready.”

Oliver nodded and watched her go thoughtfully. He could tell she hadn’t slept well, but decided not to comment on it. To be honest, sleep hadn’t come easily for him either. Between his worries about what today might bring and knowing that she was just in the other room, he’d spent most of the night tossing and turning before falling into a fitful sleep around 4am. 

Even his dreams had been filled with images of Felicity, a strange mixture of happy moments and instances where she was scared and he wasn’t able to help her. He didn’t need a psychology degree to know that he was worried about what today would bring and if he really was the right person to be there for her. 

“Oliver?” Felicity called from the bathroom, shaking him out of his thoughts. “I’m out of the shower if you need to hop in.”

“Thanks,” he called back. 

Glancing at the clock, Oliver saw that it was already 7:45. Time to get moving.

 

“Felicity!”

Looking over at the sound of her name, Felicity could see a tall, dark-haired man striding toward them on long legs. She felt Oliver’s grip on her hand tighten briefly, as if checking to see if she was alright with the man.

Shortly after their arrival on the MIT campus, Oliver had reached for her hand and not let go. His silent support meant everything to her. She squeezed his hand back, reassuring him that she just fine.

“Ray,” Felicity said as the man approached them, gently extracting her hand from Oliver’s to extend to the other man. “It’s nice to see you in person.”

Ray clasped her hand in both of his and smiled at her. “I’m so happy you’re here. I’m so excited to see your presentation. Are you ready? Do you need anything? Coffee? Water?”

Felicity laughed a little at his earnestness. “No, I’m fine. Oliver made sure I had plenty of coffee this morning.”

Ray turned toward Oliver as if seeing him for the first time, which was probably the case, and blinked in surprise. After a brief pause he let go of Felicity’s hand and extended his to Oliver.  
“Ray Palmer.”

Oliver shook Ray’s hand. “Oliver Queen,” he stated. Felicity narrowed her eyes at him. He sounded weird, but she couldn’t get a read on him.

“Of course,” Ray responded eagerly. “I am very impressed with the things coming from the new Queen Applied Sciences division, Mr. Queen.”

“Please, call me Oliver,” he told the other man with a smile. “And thank you. I think Applied Sciences is the future of Queen Consolidated.”

Now Felicity was frowning. Oliver was being super weird and she couldn’t figure out why. He had on his fake smile, the one he wore for events and awkward social situations, the one she could always see right through.

Ray dropped Oliver’s hand and turned toward the building behind him. Oliver and Felicity followed him in as he began to talk about the process today and all the people on the committee. 

She tried to pay attention, but Felicity could feel her anxiety rising. Blindly she reached for Oliver’s hand and gripped it hard.

“Hey,” came the quiet response. “You okay?”

She turned her head to look at him as they stopped outside the room where she was scheduled to give her presentation. He must have seen something in her eyes, because he looked at Ray and said, “Can you give us a minute?”

Ray’s eyes darted between the two of them questioningly, as if trying to figure out a puzzle, before he nodded. “Why don’t I go in and start getting your computer set up?” he offered.  
Felicity handed her laptop case to him, wordlessly, trying in vain to ignore the way her hands were shaking as she did. A moment later and she was alone with Oliver in the hallway.  
Reaching out his free hand, Oliver cupped her cheek. “What’s going on?” he asked in that special voice he used just for her. “Did something happen? Did you have a flashback? Should we go?”

Felicity shook her. “No, it’s not that…” she said before trailing off. How could she explain? It wasn’t any bad memory this time. Just the bone-chilling terror of failing at something you’ve been working toward for so long. 

Oliver’s thumb stroked lightly across her cheek as he gave her a small smile. “So just the normal anxiety over your presentation then?”

Felicity’s shoulders dropped in relief. She should have known he would understand. Somehow Oliver always understood, without judgement or censure. He just knew.

“I’ve been working toward this for so long,” she whispered. “What if I screw it up?”

“Felicity Smoak, you are the most incredible, brilliant person I have ever known. There is absolutely no way you could possibly screw this up. You know your material inside and out.  
You’ve already nailed this presentation, the people in there just don’t know it yet.”

Sincerity rang through his earnest words as they wound their way into her the ball of tension in her stomach and somehow managed to untangle it. With a sigh, Felicity leaned her forehead onto Oliver’s chest and sighed deep, breathing in his familiar woodsy scent.

With one last deep breath, Felicity raised her head and looked at him, eyes shining with determination. “Let’s do this.”

 

Later, Oliver wouldn’t be able to remember anything that Felicity talked about in her presentation. He wouldn’t be able to recount any of her data, or the questions she was asked. What he would remember was how confident she looked standing in front of her peers, presenting them with research and data that she knew was ground breaking. He would be able to recall, in detail, the glint in her eye when one of the committee members tried to trip her up on a question and she answered so quickly and with such authority he never asked another question.  
Pride in other people was not a strictly unfamiliar feeling to him. He felt proud of the way Thea had rebuilt her life to become an amazing woman. He felt pride every time Grace reached another milestone in her little life. But this, this overwhelming sense of pride in another person, this was new. He was just so damn happy for her. 

Even now, hours later, lying in his bed in their hotel suite. He couldn't stop thinking about how she’d shone up there. The whole room had been eating out of the palm of her hand and she’d known it. By the time she finished her presentation and Q & A session, she’d practically been floating. 

He could still feel the hug from when she’d launched herself at him after they’d left the presentation room. The way she’d clung to him, happiness radiating from her, made him want to freeze that moment in time and never let go. 

The rest of the afternoon Felicity had been on cloud nine. Beaming her way through their leisurely stroll across the MIT campus while she’d shown him her favorite spots from her brief time there. There had been no triggers, no bad moments, just bittersweet memories over what should have been her full time there.  
Ray had insisted on taking the two of them to dinner, much to Oliver’s chagrin. It wasn't that he didn’t like Ray. He actually seemed like a decent man, if not a little over eager. It was something about seeing him with Felicity that made Oliver...jealous.

Rolling over with a sigh, he punched his pillow in frustration, trying not to think of they easy way Felicity and Ray spoke about technology together. To Oliver, it sounded like another language, but the two of them had talked throughout dinner about anything and everything that popped into their brilliant minds, seamlessly keeping up with the other one as the jumped from subject to subject.

The two of them had done their best to include him, but Oliver knew there was no way he could ever keep up. Eventually he’d sat back and just listened, trying to tamp down the irrational envy flowing through him. 

A noise cut through the silence of the room, making Oliver freeze. There it was again, almost like a...cry. When he realized it was coming from Felicity’s room, he was out of his bed and heading toward her in a flash. 

Felicity had left the door to her room ajar a little and Oliver peered inside, trying to determine if she okay. He saw her thrashing on her bed, crying a little, almost like she was trying to do it quietly.

“No,” came the plaintive plea. “Please don’t hurt me.”

Oliver’s heart broke at the whispered cry. He quickly turned on the bathroom light and closed the door halfway, so the light gently illuminated the room. Next he walked to her bed and sat gingerly on the edge, not wanting to frighten her further. 

“Felicity,” he said, pitching his voice to just over a whisper. “Felicity, wake up. It’s just a dream.”

“No,” she responded, shaking her head frantically back and forth. 

Oliver grabbed one of her hands and began stroking his thumb across the tops of her knuckles. “Come on, Felicity. It’s me, Oliver,” he coaxed. “I need you to wake up.”

With a gasp, Felicity shot straight up in bed. “Oliver!” she cried, her eyes panicked.

“Shh,” he whispered. “I’m right here. You’re okay.”

“I can’t…I can’t breathe!” she panted.

“Yes,you can. In and out. You can do it,” Oliver soothed. “That’s it. You got it.”

Eventually her breath evened out a little and Oliver could see the worst parts of the nightmare leaving her and reality taking over.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, reaching for the glass of water on her night stand and handing it to her.

Felicity took the water gratefully and downed half of it in one go. “It was the same dream I always have,” she told him as she handed the water back. “Jace has me and this time I don’t get rescued. No one comes for me and he just keeps torturing me over and over again.”

Oliver closed his eyes so Felicity wouldn't see the hatred that filled him at her words. The need to hurt someone for what had been done to her was overwhelming.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up,” she apologized. “I don’t know why I had the nightmare tonight. Nothing happened today to trigger it.”

“First, don’t ever apologize for a nightmare to me,” he began, stroking his hands down her arms in comfort. “I have had more than my fair share and I know better than anyone how awful they are. I’m glad to be here so you don't have to be alone. Second, I think just being here in Boston is enough of a trigger, don’t you?”

Felicity nodded with a small smile before a yawn took over.

Oliver chuckled. “You’re exhausted. I’ll let you try to go back to sleep.”

He moved to stand, but Felicity grabbed his arm. 

“Will you stay?” she asked in a rush. “I know I shouldn't ask. It’s probably crossing some friendship boundary, but will you stay with me? I’m so tired, but I know as soon as I close my eyes, I will see his face again and I always feel so much safer with you…”

Warmth spread through his body at her word. She felt safer with him, how incredible was that? 

“Of course I’ll stay, Felicity,” he told her with a smile. “Scoot over.”

Felicity hurriedly scooted to the other side of the bed and waited for him to lay down. As soon as his head hit the pillow, she curled into his side, tucking her head into the crook of his neck, their bodies tangled together. 

“Is this okay?” she whispered, her breath hot on his neck and Oliver fought back the urge to shiver.

Instead he wrapped his arms around her small body and pulled her in tighter. “It’s perfect, “ he told her. “Now go to sleep.”

Oliver felt Felicity’s body slowly sink back into sleep as he held onto her tight, trying to keep the nightmares away. With a final sigh, she drifted off and Oliver knew, right then. He was 100%, irrevocably in love with Felicity. And he had no idea what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on tumblr at lynslogic and let me know what you thought!


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